The INSIDER Summary:

• Rachel Lindsay has established that she definitely knows what she wants in a man.
• Throughout the season she has taught us some important lessons that can actually be applied to our own dating life.
• From what kinds of person you should date to how you should act, these are five lessons Lindsay has taught "Bachelorette" fans.

We love it. We hate it. We binge it. That’s the way it goes with ABC’s "The Bachelorette" — despite knowing that much of the drama is producer-induced and many of the feelings are surface-level, we just can’t look away.

Although the ratio of ratings-driven antics to actual reality is questionable at best, current bachelorette Rachel Lindsay’s apparent (and totally admirable) sense of self-awareness sure isn’t. Lindsay knows what she wants in a man, which is why through the course of this season she’s established herself as lawyer-by-day and love-guru-by-Monday-nights. Read on for some real-life lessons in dating we’ve learned from this season of our favorite reality show.

1. Your S.O. should be curious, not just complimentary

Lindsay’s goodbye to Josiah Graham made it clear that flowery words don’t always get you a flower in return. After the contestant attempted to woo her for 60 consecutive seconds without letting her get in more than a few words, the bachelorette confronted him, saying, “I feel like when you and I talk, you don’t really ask questions about me. I want you to want to know about me.” He followed this up with yet another compliment about how perceptive she is. We agree, Josiah, she is perceptive — which is how she knew you were full of it. Your S.O. should be eager to learn more about you, because without that foundation, those compliments are, in fact, baseless.

2. Dating someone similar to you won’t always work out

Though the old adage “opposites attract” might be true at times, people are often equally as drawn to people similar to them. Jack Stone, a Dallas-based attorney, seemed like a perfect partner for Lindsay — at least on paper. But if their awkward make-out sesh wasn’t enough, their complete lack of emotional connection sent him packing after his first one-on-one date. And poor Matt Munson, who Lindsay divulged was very much like her, met the same fate. Neither twinning job titles nor shared interests can make a relationship last if the chemistry just isn’t there.

3. Pick and choose when to be selfless versus selfish

In her heart-to-heart with Chris Harrison post hometowns, Lindsay stated she was having a hard time being selfish throughout this process, yet she acknowledged the necessity. Lindsay came on the show in hopes of finding a man with whom she’ll spend a lifetime of happiness, and — surprise, surprise — achieving this objective requires she actually does what makes her, not the guys, happy. However, she very maturely put this mentality aside with Kenny Layne. Lindsay’s decision to choose Layne after the notorious two-on-one date with Lee Garrett proved her feelings for him were true. But, much to viewers’ shock, he too was sent home by the episode’s end. Setting her own emotions aside, Lindsay parted from Layne so he could be reunited with his daughter. Caring about a person sometimes does mean putting their needs before your own; it’s all about discerning when it’s one of those times.

4. Talk about the tricky stuff

Dean Unglert’s childish avoidance of Lindsay’s attempts to discuss his impending hometown date (“Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy?” Yikes.) was not only cringe-worthy but also totally counterproductive. It disappointed Lindsay and nearly lost him the rose. Early on, Unglert was able to earn points with Lindsay by making her laugh, but it was his ability to open up about his painful past and family dynamic that kept him around. Although it didn’t work out for these two in the end (we’re still not over it), the emotional closeness they gained through those conversations may have been what prompted Lindsay’s unprecedented confession of love.

5. Be selective with your second chances

Once again, Lindsay proved talk is cheap, even when it’s making the franchise a lot of money. After being sent home for allegedly having a girlfriend, DeMario Jackson showed up at the next cocktail party to woo Lindsay back, and he came prepared. After a speech complete with a “Yes, I did mess up,” a weirdly unfitting Jay-Z quote, and literal begging, Lindsay still gracefully and matter-of-factly sent Jackson home. Although giving someone a second chance might be enticing — especially when you’ve been dating for longer than, say, two weeks like Lindsay and Jackson had been — it’s important to follow this reality star’s lead and save the second chances for the few who truly deserve them.

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NOW WATCH: The most persuasive phrase in the human language

The INSIDER Summary:

• Selena Gomez opened up about her relationship with The Weeknd.
• In a new interview with InStyle, she gushed about their healthy partnership and called him her "best friend."
• "I’ve wanted to be in a strong headspace for years, and I really wasn’t," Gomez said. "Before, I was so young and easily influenced, and I’d feel insecure. You want someone to add to your life, not to complete you, if that makes sense."

Selena Gomez has kept her relationship with singer The Weeknd (aka Abel Tesfaye) pretty under wraps. Although they attended the Met Gala together, they only make sly appearances on each others' social media.

But the singer got personal in an interview with InStyle for its September issue, speaking about how her new relationship has affected how she views partnership. 

Gomez expressed her desire for a balanced life: she told the magazine that while she is happy with The Weeknd, she doesn't want to depend on her romantic life as a root for her happiness. 

"I really am [happy]," she told the magazine. "It’s great. I don’t depend on one area of my life to make me happy. It’s really important for me to love and nourish my friends and family and to make sure that I never get influenced by a guy."

Gomez told InStyle that she feels that she is finally strong in her convictions and has an equal partnership — something she said was lacking in her past relationships. It's hard not to assume she's referencing her very high-profile relationship with singer Justin Bieber. 

"I’ve wanted to be in a strong headspace for years, and I really wasn’t," Gomez revealed. "Before, I was so young and easily influenced, and I’d feel insecure. You want someone to add to your life, not to complete you, if that makes sense."

The "Fetish" singer said that her relationship now has shown her that she doesn't have to sacrifice other aspects of her life in order to have a happy love life.

"I’m lucky because he’s more of a best friend than anything else," Gomez said.

It's refreshing that Gomez has been so frank about the self-esteem issues that often come with dating — especially in the public eye. And after a public break-up and a few health scares, it's wonderful to hear that she feels so empowered by her partnership.

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NOW WATCH: The longest study on happiness reveals the keys to living a longer, happier life

The INSIDER Summary:

• A man's viral social media post about his wife's body is making waves after many took issue with it. 
• People on Twitter slammed the post for being self-congratulatory and trying to pass as "revolutionary." 
• Though we initially wrote about the post in a positive light, a lot of things did concern us about it. 

A few days ago, a San Francisco man's Instagram post about his wife's "curvy body"went viral for what many saw as a body positive message, but today many are not so sure that his post was as empowering as many think. 

Activist and author Robbie Tripp wrote a lengthy Instagram caption on a photo of himself and his wife Sarah Tripp  cuddled up on the beach. In the post, Robbie praises Sarah's "curvy" body and laments all of his friends and the "basic bros" who would not find her and other women of her size attractive. 

 Here's the full caption:

"I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as "chubby" or even "fat." Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured in my life and in my heart. There's nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She's real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don't ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah. "

Many publications (including INSIDER) praised Tripp for his messaging, in which he calls out the media for not portraying women of diverse sizes and praises her body for things that women are often shamed for (stretch marks, dimples, etc.). 

After the post went viral, though, Twitter users and body positivity activists took issue with Robbie's post, saying that he should not get a cookie for loving his beautiful wife who happens to be "curvy."

 It's worth noting that Sarah Tripp wrote a response to the initial praise on her own Instagram post. 

"Feeling so incredibly blessed and still in a bit of shock with the craziness of @tripp's post going absolutely viral!" she wrote. "We've received countless messages, emails, and friend requests, and it's been amazing to see so much love & body positivity! Hands down the best part is seeing people tag their significant other saying how much they can relate to the post and how thankful they are to have someone who loves them for who they are. There's still a lot of good in the world, and we are determined to continue to spread it as much as we can. Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support!"

Obviously, the person's whose opinion matters the most about her husband's words is Sarah's, but needless to say his post struck a chord with many, including me. While we initially wrote about the post in a positive light due to all of the praise and comments it was getting, the post didn't sit right for a few reasons. I made brief mention of this my previous post, noting that no one should ever place their love of their body or their self-worth on the praise of their partner. 

People who identify as women are constantly scrutinized for the way their bodies look, so when posts like these come out it's often a breath of fresh air to see a body type other than "thin and tall" being praised as beautiful. But as so many have noted, Robbie's post contained a lot of things that made a lot of people uncomfortable. 

For one, he calls his wife a "real" woman who is "not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character."Despite what Robbie might think, all people who identify as women are "real" women deserving of love and attraction without strings attached— even the porn stars among us.  

There are lots of people who find women who look like Sarah beautiful, so it's not OK to frame her body like something that other men would inherently find unattractive. If you love her and her body, then great! But finding a beautiful woman — not to one who has already gained fame on social media as a style blogger— is not a revolutionary or feminist act in and of itself. 

Any woman, especially those of us who Robbie would call "curvy," deals with enough scrutiny about our bodies on a daily basis. To have your partner's love of your body qualified with a bunch of reasons why other men would not find it attractive is not really many's idea of a romantic gesture. 

Everyone should be heaping praise on their partners and showing love for their bodies — and if you choose to do that on social media, so be it. But don't be surprised if you find that people are quick to show you that compliments about women's bodies don't need to come as back-handed. 

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NOW WATCH: A mother and daughter stopped speaking after Trump was elected — here's their emotional first conversation 6 months later

The INSIDER Summary:

• My parents are divorced. When I went to college, my mom began going on dates.
• I found a way not to be a total jerk about it. 
• Through establishing boundaries, seeing it from her side, and staying out of my parents' fighting, I've found a way to be happy for my mom and her new relationships. 

As a child of a single mom, I was pretty used to being open with her about most things. While she instilled the fear of God in me that if I ever did drugs or drove drunk that she would pull me by my ear around town, I could generally talk to her about things that were bothering me. 

When I was living at home, she didn't really date: she focused on her job and raising me, which will always be something I appreciate. Once I went off to college though, she began dating, making friends, and going out more. And with that, she started sharing her problems with me, which I can't say was always easy. 

Being an adult child of someone who is dating is a weird as hell feeling. It can be messy and hurtful and just plain weird. But thankfully for you, I already lived it — and I'm here to share my advice. 

Be there for your parent, but set boundaries. 

I tell my mom basically everything, so initially, she started sharing a ton with me. Because my job is talking about relationships all day, my mom wanted some advice on the guys she was seeing. Some of it was pretty innocuous — she was nervous because a guy hadn't texted her back yet and after about 10 minutes of telling her it was probably fine, I found out she meant he hadn't text her back in three hours. But some of it got a little too much for me to handle. 

We had a talk pretty early on and I explained what I was — and was not — comfortable hearing about and how often. I was there for her when it was important. Anything else, she could divulge to her girlfriends over happy hour drinks and I could be spared the gory details.

Try to see it from their side. 

When I think about how my mom must have felt introducing me to her boyfriend, I feel sympathy for her. I am a pretty kind person, but there's no way that situation will not be at least a little bit awkward. 

Whatever emotions you're feeling about your parent dating, your parent is probably feeling them 10-fold. It can be an uncomfortable situation, so they're bound to make mistakes and emotions will be running high.

Your parent is going to need some serious empathy from you. Even if you really wish that you weren't teaching them how to upload a photo to Tinder right now, remember that they probably wish you were being a little more chill about this stressful situation.

See it from their perspective and try your very darnedest to be happy when they're happy. Because they deserve to be happy.

Don't compare your relationship to their relationship. 

This goes two different ways: for one, if you're in a relationship, know that you can't exactly be a bastion of advice for them. I am in a committed relationship, but it's vastly different than what my mom has with her boyfriend. 

My boyfriend and I argue about what type of food we're going to eat that week; we don't have kids and mortgages and retirement plans to worry about. So while it's tempting to tell my mom "well, my boyfriend does this..." it usually isn't helpful unless we're talking about something that is true of all men, like that they cannot handle thinking about more than one thing at once. 

Don't make affection a competition. 

Try to avoid competing with your parent's partner for your parent's affection. 

Anyone whose parent has dated will tell you that there is a moment where you call them and they can't answer the phone because they're on a date, and you think "I guess I have to Google how long hard-boiled eggs last in the fridge before they go bad." Then you begin to wonder for a second if your parent loves their partner more than they love you now. 

Obviously, this isn't productive. Their relationship is new, shiny, and cool, and they know you have your own life. They shouldn't have to be at your beck and call to answer all of your stupid questions.

Let them have some space for a while and know that nothing good can come of wondering who they love more. 

Let them know what's important to you. 

While you definitely want to cut your parents a pretty big amount of slack, you also need to give yourself some kindness. 

I live about a nine-hour train ride away from my mom, which means I don't really see her too often. So when I'm home, I like to spend a lot of time with her and other members of my family doing the stuff we never get to do together.

Not that I don't want to see the slightest hint of her boyfriend during that time, but I've let her know that certain things, I feel, should be gals only. Especially during the beginnings of their relationship, I needed more one-on-one time during holidays and special occasions with my mom.

We worked (or are working, really) out a schedule that doesn't make me feel like home is this uncomfortable place I no longer am a part of, but also doesn't completely exclude her boyfriend from the mix. Be open and calm during this discussion and make sure you both are getting what you need out of your time together. 

Don't get in the middle of your parents. 

This can be one of the tougher situations you'll face. If your parents are divorced, it can make interactions with the whole "modern family" very sticky. 

Don't talk badly about one parent to the other one when it comes to their romantic pursuits: nothing good can come of it. If they need a buddy to trash your other parent's new partner, tell them to call up another family member or friend or congressman's voice-mail. Stay out of it as much as you possibly can. 

Know that they're still your same old parent. 

As much as my mother has changed now that she's a hot commodity on Match.com (kidding mom!), she's still my same old mom who loves baking Christmas cookies with me and is always the first person on the dance floor, even when there is no "dance floor" per se. 

It may seem like your parent is this new weird alien person who has all of these new interests and focuses in their life, but deep down, they're still your same old goofy parent. Try not to make things too weird for their new partner and make sure you get plenty of alone time with them. You'll probably see that everything is not as topsy-turvey as it once seemed. 

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NOW WATCH: Science says parents of unsuccessful kids could have these 6 things in common

The INSIDER Summary:

• "Riverdale" actors Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse play TV couple Betty and Jughead. 
• Since March, fans have been speculating that the actors are dating.
• Finally, Reinhart confirmed it in an Instagram post on Friday.

Everyone's favorite "Riverdale" couple is officially dating in real life.

In a new Instagram post, actress Lili Reinhart, who plays Betty, shared a birthday message for actor Cole Sprouse, who plays Jughead, thanking him for making her past year memorable.

"To the man who has showed me more beautiful places in this past year than I have ever seen in my whole life," she wrote in the caption. "Happy birthday, Cole. Thank you for all of the adventures and here's to many more." 

Betty and Jughead, named Bughead by fan's who "ship" the couple, ended the first season together but unsure what the future was going to hold.

The real-life couple had been reported to be dating for a while now. Since March, fans have been speculating online and analyzing the actor's interactions. 

People reported in July that the couple was seen getting close at Comic-Con, but Reinhart's Instagram is the first confirmation that they are indeed dating.

Bughead fans can expect some drama between the two lovebirds when "Riverdale" returns for its second season October 11. 

Watch a trailer below:

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• Bad relationships and tense situations at work can be fixed with similar tactics.

• "Repair attempts"— de-escalating statements or actions — can help tense colleagues improve communication.

• There are four things you can do to help yourself craft repair attempts: lighten up the situation, show empathy, calm yourself down, and show appreciation.

Years ago I worked for a man legendary for his volcanic temper. On a good day, he threw tantrums with his vendors, sometimes screaming insults at them and heaving profanities— words former White House Communications Director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has cleverly dubbed "colorful language."

On a bad day, my old boss hurled newspapers across his desk as a way of "dealing with stress." Needless to say, I don't work for that jerk anymore.

While most people don't work for such extreme personalities, working for a bad boss is definitely a drag. In fact, bad bosses and (not surprisingly) bad communication are often cited as the top reasons employees quit their jobs.

Turns out, business can learn a lot from the world of couples' counseling.

Like a bad marriage, a bad employee-boss relationship can be detrimental to the organization as a whole. By learning how to make 'repair attempts' — one of the key skills happy couples use to navigate conflict — employers and employees can become allies instead of adversaries.

Repair attempts are the "secret weapon" of emotionally intelligent people, says psychologist and internationally-renowned couples researcher John Gottman, who describes the term 'repair attempt' as any statement or action a person takes that prevents negativity from spiraling out of control.

After more than 40 years studying relationship dynamics, Gottman discovered it's the way couples can de-escalate an argument or tense situation that separate the relationship 'masters from the disasters."

"The goal of repair is to understand what went wrong, and how to make your next conversation more constructive," writes Kyle Benson on the The Gottman Institute blog.

Examples of repair attempts include:

"You know, I don't think either of us is really listening to each other right now. Maybe we should start over."

"I need a break. Can we talk about this in 20 minutes?"

"I'm sorry, I really wish I hadn't said that."

Though Gottman's work has centered mostly around couples and families, his groundbreaking techniques can easily be applied to workplace relationships that require cooperation, collaboration and support in order to thrive.

Here are four ways to keep your next tense conversation at work from going off the rails.

1. Lighten up

Seriously. Yes, there are times mistakes happen that cost time and money. And yes, there are employees and bosses who screw up royally. If that's the case, or if there's a repeat offender among the ranks, then the behavior has to be dealt with accordingly.

However, if you work with humans, mistakes are bound to happen. Rather than lashing out, a better way to approach it might be to crack a joke. Humour is a great repair technique that fosters goodwill, says Gottman. It's also a great way of breaking the tension in a strained situation.

2. Show empathy

Instead of laying blame, try to see the problem from the other person's point of view. Remember, it's a team. Rather than saying, 'it's your problem', think of it as 'our problem.' After all, that's how a successful team thrives: when everyone pulls together and finds a way out of the well.

3. Calm yourself down

Launching into a cursing tirade has never helped improve morale. In fact, negativity and hostility is a lot like smoking: it affects everyone around, especially the one lighting up. Just look at what happened to The Mooch.

So before blowing up at your colleague, take a few seconds to collect your thoughts. Take a few deep breaths, go for a walk, sleep on it — do whatever it takes to get your emotions in check, because once you let loose, it's difficult to undo the damage.

4. Show appreciation

Words like "I appreciate your concern..." or "I'm grateful for your effort...", when said with poise and sincerity, can go a long way to diffuse a tense conversation.

Better yet, when mutual goodwill is established from the the get-go, repair attempts are even more effective, Gottman discovered.

As Benson writes,

"If you are understanding of each other, your relationship will be better fit to stand the inevitable storms that will come... If you are disrespectful, rude, and distant to each other, then your repair attempts will fail."

Repairs don't have to be well spoken or even complicated to be effective. Any genuine technique can work if the foundation is right.

SEE ALSO: 11 real people share their best productivity hacks at work

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• INSEAD professor Erin Meyer moved from the US to France 17 years ago.

• She finds French people are more like coconuts: They take a while to open up, after which they're willing to share a lot.

• Americans are more like peaches: They're friendly right off the bat, but after a certain point, they close up.

In the 17 years since moving from the United States to France, Erin Meyer has heard French people use some … interesting words to describe their American colleagues.

Read: "superficial,""hypocritical," and "fake."

Meanwhile, Meyer's heard many Americans complain about their French colleagues being "standoffish,""hostile," and "unfriendly."

Meyer is a professor at INSEAD and the author of the 2014 book "The Culture Map." As someone who's both studied cultural differences and experienced them firsthand, she knows how easy it is to get frustrated or confused when doing business abroad.

One of the biggest differences between French and American cultures, Meyer told Business Insider, is that French people are more like coconuts while Americans are more like peaches.

Think about a coconut: It's hard on the outside, but gets softer as you drill deeper. That's how French people operate — they take a while to open up, but once they do, they're candid and genuine.

Now think about a peach: It's soft on the outside, but eventually you hit a hard pit. That's how American people operate — they're warm and friendly right off the bat, but then they close up and don't reveal anything more personal.

For example, Meyer said, French people "don't talk about personal information with strangers." They generally don't place family photos on their desk.

She continued on to say that French people are "very formal with people that they haven't built a relationship with, and they're unlikely to smile a lot or do a lot of personal talk with people that they don't know well."

But as you get to know French people, Meyer added, "they become more and more warm, more and more friendly. They open up more about their personal lives and usually, once you've developed that level of closeness, the relationship sticks. You'll probably have that relationship for the rest of your career."

Americans, on the other hand, "tend to be very friendly with strangers and talk very easily about their personal lives with people that they don't have close relationships with. They smile a lot at people that they barely know at all."

Yet "after a point of friendliness, [Americans] don't share more. [They] kind of close up. That's how [they're] experienced by Europeans: They're really friendly, but they don't show you who they really are."

Meyer shared an anecdote that illustrates how this coconut-peach disparity can cause trouble.

She once worked with a French executive who moved to South Carolina for work. That executive had a new baby, but he wasn't comfortable talking about his family with his new coworkers and didn't think it was appropriate.

As a result, Meyer said, "people had difficulty relating to him. His team felt that he wasn't authentic … and that he was shielded, so it was difficult for them to trust him."

Other coconut cultures, Meyer writes in "The Culture Map," include Russia, Poland, and Germany. Another example of a peach culture is Brazil.

Note that there's no universal right or wrong strategy for building relationships. It's more a matter of understanding what different cultures are like, and trying to adapt your own communication style to theirs.

SEE ALSO: 8 things that drive French people nuts about American offices — and vice versa

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Entrepreneur Elon Musk has reportedly split with actress Amber Heard.

The 46-year-old PayPal billionaire called time on their relationship a week ago, the Mail on Sunday reported.

"It's all over between Amber and Elon and she's devastated. It was his decision," a source told the paper.

"He ended it a week ago. He'd heard certain things about her behaviour that didn't sit well with him."

Heard, 31, finalised her divorce from Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp earlier this year. The Hollywood actor was forced to deny Heard's claims that he physically abused her throughout their 15-month marriage.

The anonymous source told the Mail on Sunday: "Amber can be very manipulative and selfish. Elon's back in LA while she's licking her wounds in Australia."

Musk, who is worth a reported £12 billion, has five sons from his first marriage to Canadian writer Justine Musk.

A spokesman for Musk said: "We don't have any comment on this story."

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Breaking up is the worst — not even because it makes you sad and regretful and all that, but because deciding to part ways takes so much mental and emotional energy.

So here's a framework that can help make the decision a little easier. It's based on advice from Linda Carroll, a marriage therapist (and Courtney Love's mom).

Carroll appeared on an episode of the Art of Charm podcast to talk all things love and relationships and shared four reasons to leave a relationship immediately:

1. Your partner is abusive.

It doesn't matter if the abuse is physical, verbal, sexual, emotional, or financial, Carrol said. You need to leave.

Carrol added that even couples with major issues can figure out how to make the relationship work — but in the meantime, you should "get away and move away and protect yourself."

2. Your partner has a character disorder that manifests in lying and jealousy.

Carrol specified that this is only a red flag if "it's constant — it's not just a bad moment."

Again, she said that if your partner is really committed to overcoming these issues, it's possible to make the relationship work. But in the meantime, you should get some space.

3. You've done all you can do and it's just not working.

"It doesn't mean that somebody's bad," Carrol said. "Maybe you got together because you were needy or you didn't choose well." Or maybe, she added, what worked for you at age 22 doesn't work for you at age 40.

The point is that relationships take effort — but there's only so much effort you can put in. At a certain point, it might be time to cut your losses.

4. You just know, 'deep in your gut.'

When you "just know" you need to call it quits, Carrol said, it's not a "panicky" feeling.

It's not that intense feeling of "I can't stand this person!" that you get when they're chewing too loudly. It's also not that dramatic feeling of "I'd rather be single!" that arises when they tell the same story for the billionth time.

"You know, for your own reasons, that you really are done," Carrol said. "It probably less to do with the other person than with you."

Carrol also shared one very bad reason to leave a relationship: Your partner is an ordinary person.

If you don't feel madly in love every day, or if the things that made you fall in love are now annoying you, that's not a definite sign that you should break up.

In fact, other relationship experts seem to agree that sometimes being miserable, bored, frustrated, and/or angry is part of the deal when you get married. (The same logic probably applies to long-term relationships, too.)

As one marriage educator put it, "There will be times when one or both [people in a relationship] want out and can barely stand the sight of each other."

Bottom line — and we know this is annoying — no one can make the breakup decision for you.

SEE ALSO: A researcher who interviewed hundreds of married women found the happiest 'never bought into' a 'dangerous fantasy'

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NOW WATCH: A relationship expert reveals the best ways to get over someone

The INSIDER Summary:

• Model Tess Holliday slammed a post by a man who bragged about loving his wife and her "curvy" body. 
• She pointed out that people who identify as men are often patted on the back for simple things. 
• She also slammed the man for his past transphobic comments that he apparently tweeted. 

The internet has been having a field day ripping author and activist Robbie Tripp a new one after he posted an Instagram post about his wife's "curvy" body. Now, model and body positivity activist Tess Holliday is joining the conversation, and she is not here for Tripp's self-congratulatory post either.

Tripp posted an Instagram post last week praising his "curvy" wife and calling on other men to assess how they treat women based on their body type, saying that many would call his wife "chubby." Tripp said he was teased for liking "curvy" women, and wanted to send a message to women that they will find a man who appreciates them no matter what they look like.

Holliday posted an Instagram of her own to slam Tripp's post, sharing a screenshot of a tweet by a Twitter user named #trishy. 

"*guy likes curvy woman* 16,667 favs, national news *curvy woman likes herself* 12 favs, 48 people in your mentions talking about diabetes," the tweet said. 

"This is so real," Holliday captioned the post. "Stop giving men trophies for doing the bare minimum. Also I'm not here for someone who says transphobic things."

Her post echoes the biggest critique many had of Tripp's Instagram message: that he shouldn't get a cookie for loving his wife even if she's "curvy."

While Tripp's post originally went viral in a positive light, body positive activists and many others online took issue with the self-congratulatory nature of Tripp's post. It has since become a running Twitter joke with the caption "my curvy wife."

Holliday's post also addresses past tweets allegedly posted by Tripp, in which he made transphobic comments about Caitlyn Jenner. The tweet now appears to be deleted.

"Born a Bruce, always a Bruce. Clothes, make-up, surgery, and public acceptance still won't change how you came into this world,” the tweet said.

Tripp hasn't directly addressed the controversy surrounding his comments, but thanked his fans for their support and positivity in an Instagram post. 

"Thank you to each and every one of you who has messaged us with your heartfelt stories and encouraging positivity," he wrote. "What started as a simple declaration of adoration for @sassyredlipstick has turned into something so much bigger and we couldn't be more grateful for it. Nothing but love and positivity over here! Be sure to stay tuned to our IG Stories to continue on this journey with us!"

Though it's great that Tripp's wife, Sarah Tripp, seems to have appreciated the post about her, it seems that he could learn a lot from Holliday and other body positive activists if he really wants to educate himself on feminism and the marginalization of women as much as he said he did his original post. 

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Business Insider UK spoke to Matthew Hussey, dating expert at howtogettheguy.com and howtogettheguy.com/blog and author of New York Times bestseller "Get the Guy," about who he thinks should pick up the bill on a first date.

Here's a transcript of the video:

Who should pay on a first date? This is a question I'm asked all the time.

I believe men should pay. I'm a gentleman. My mum brought me up to be a certain way. But there's a danger in a woman not offering to at least pay her half.

I always say: if a woman doesn't offer to pay her half on a date, she wasn't taught right. If a guy doesn't pay the whole thing, he wasn't taught right. That'll tell you everything you need to know about the dynamic.

Ladies, you may be saying: "I don't want to offer on a date because he took me on a date, he should be the one paying."

That may be true, but you learn nothing about a guy when you don't even bother to reach for your purse.

When you reach, you learn about a guy. Because then he can come to you and say: "No, no, no. I've got this." Then you know: "He was going to get this anyway."

But if you don't even reach and he's just pressured into doing it, you don't know if he's doing that because he genuinely wanted to or because he feels like he had to. And you learn nothing.

You know far more about a guy by offering.

Produced by Claudia Romeo. Filmed by David Ibekwe.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Fall is the perfect time for a romantic getaway as you get to escape the heat and crowds.
• The Loire Valley in France is home to numerous castles that look like they're taken from the pages of a fairytale.
• Montpelier, Vermont, is the epitome of New England charm, and the perfect spot to view fall foliage.

Between outdoor adventures and beach getaways, summer might the more obvious time for romantic trips, but fall allows couples to beat the heat and the crowds, as well as save on travel.

From seeing the fall foliage in Vermont to taking romantic walks along Bruge's many canals, keep reading for our list of the best romantic travel destinations this fall.

Budapest, Hungary

Known as the "City of Baths" thanks to its rich spa heritage (introduced by the Romans), Budapest offers plenty of opportunities to unwind in stunning, thermal baths, which are said to have healing powers.

Savannah, Georgia

Nicknamed the "Forest City" thanks to its abundance of live oak and ample Spanish moss providing shade, Savannah is super romantic by any standard. It has cobblestone streets, cute bed and breakfasts galore, and 21 lush public squares ringed by beautiful old homes, but you can take the romance up another notch by riding a horse-drawn carriage through the historic district. The weather is blissfully temperate in the fall.

Bruges, Belgium

Take long, romantic strolls along the city's many canals. With a body of water literally named Lake of Love, and a bridge known as Lover's Bridge, few places are as inherently romantic as Bruges.

• People with psychopathic traits may seek out therapy. True psychopaths will not.
• Psychopaths can manipulate everyone around them, including their therapists.
• There may not be a cure, but certain therapies may stop the most violent of psychopaths from re-offending.

An estimated 1–2% of men and 0.3–0.7% of women in the general population are psychopaths. However, the number of people who have psychopathic traits is probably a lot higher.

Psychopathy is a spectrum, and we all fall on it somewhere, according to neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr Tara Swart. The traits of a psychopath include ruthlessness, narcissism, persuasiveness, and the inability to feel guilt.

What separates most of us from people with psychopathic disorder, though, is the ability to feel empathy, says therapist Dr Perpetua Neo.

Usually, if someone shows unfavorable traits in a way that is pushing other people away, they will stop when they learn they are acting inappropriately. They may even choose to go to therapy to learn why they behave in such a way, and adjust accordingly.

However, a true psychopath will never choose to go see a therapist because they don't think there's anything wrong with the way there are. They will also never change, according to Neo.

A true psychopath will never change.

"People with traits, they're going to be okay," Neo told Business Insider. "[But] from what I've read, what I've heard, what I've seen and experienced so far, people with dark triad personality disorders cannot and will not change."

Neo has worked mainly with women who have come out of abusive relationships with narcissists and even psychopaths. She usually works with them on their own while they are still with the abuser, or after they have been discarded.

Sometimes, though, a psychopath and their partner will go to counseling to try and fix their broken relationship. Neo says the only time a psychopath will agree to do this is if they can see how it will benefit them, and if they still have some use for their partner.

Even therapists can be fooled by them.

Psychopaths are often masters of manipulation, and by this point they have already managed to skew the whole relationship. They are very charming, and know how to tug at your heart strings, according to Neo. Unfortunately, even therapists can be fooled by them too.

"They orchestrate this show, put on a false self in front of the therapist, and they know how to push the buttons of their partner, so their partner looks extremely unstable in these situations," she said. "The therapist may collude unknowingly with the dark triad person against the partner who really has been the one suffering."

The psychopath may say that their partner is the "mad" one, gaslighting them into believing that it's true.

"It's very difficult for you to realize, because they can seem so stable and so rational," Neo said.

Psychopaths don't think there's anything wrong with them.

It's also difficult for therapists to know how to treat narcissists and psychopaths, because the research and knowledge on the topic is fairly limited. There are several tests to help diagnose psychopathy — such as the Hare Checklist— but these are far from perfect.

To further complicate matters, psychopathy is a wide-ranging personality disorder, and those who have it don't tend to think there is anything wrong with them. Also, their traits can mimic many other problems, such as substance abuse, domestic abuse, or a gambling addiction, making them hard to identify.

"The psychopath or narcissist, anyone who is very abusive, they tend to be the master of smoke and mirrors," Neo said. "It could look like something else — it could be the fact he has a difficult mother, so he drinks, and after he drinks he hurts me. Or he has a drug problem. Or he has this convoluted history of paranoia, because people are unfaithful to him and hurt him. So you're always jumping from one thing to another."

They could also be misdiagnosed as having a different personality disorder, because the therapist could pick up on something else. Depending on how cunning and manipulative the psychopath is, they may only show the therapist what they want them to see.

"I've met quite a few who learn symptoms and pretend to have them," Neo added. "And a lot of therapies are about believing in a person's ability to change their lives. If you build a relationship with somebody, you don't want to believe they are bad. And if they have narcissistic personality disorder, or they're a psychopath, they are a bad person. So there is this inherent conflict."

A 'cure' might not be the answer.

With violent and criminal psychopaths, their lack of empathy and care for themselves means they have no guilt about what they've done and do not have any problems going to prison.

According to the work of Dr Kent Kiehl, a neuroscientist who has studied psychopaths for over 20 years, if you think going to therapy for a "cure" is the answer, you're probably asking the wrong question.

In his book "The Psychopath Whisperer," he outlines some treatment options for highly dangerous psychopaths. In these cases, they are already incarcerated, and so haven't opted in for therapy, but are forced to go.

For example, at the Mendota Juvenile Treatment Center in Wisconsin, high risk youths are taken in and treated with intensive programs to try to reduce the chance they'll re-offend.

The treatments are based on positive reinforcement rather than punishment, such as being given a reward, like a video game in their cell for the weekend, if they respond positively.

"The treatment doesn't necessarily cure individuals with psychopathy, but it helps provide insight on how to reduce impulsivity and/or poor decisions that contribute to relapse to crime or antisocial behavior," Kiehl told Business Insider.

"This program reduces violent recidivism by over 50%, which is a huge decrease and evidence that scientific-based treatment can effect positive outcomes in individuals with these traits."

According to Kiehl, though, 10 to 15% of kids still re-offended violently, so the psychological treatment isn't always effective. After all, there is still a lot we don't know about the psychopathic brain.

In fact, some forms of therapy can actually make psychopaths commit more crimes than if they had none at all, Kiehl writes in his book.

This means research into the brain patterns, upbringing, and behavior of psychopaths is needed to better understand the chance somebody will become a psychopathic abuser, criminal, rapist, or murderer.

MRI scans could also help to determine whether treatment is really working, by looking at whether the brain activity in areas that regulate emotions, impulses, and morality increases over time.

The most important thing is to help the victims.

Whether somebody becomes a psychopath or is born that way is still a grey area, so the way they are treated is going to be a work in progress for a long time.

Neo says that right now, the most important thing in her own work is to help the people who are the victims, and aid them with getting out of dangerous situations.

"When I see there is clearly abuse going on, regardless of whether it's emotional, financial, or physical, I will call it out," she said.

"I will say it's not healthy behavior, and this is not how anybody should be treated. I won't mince my words. It's tough, though, because [nobody] wants to hear they are with a psychopath."

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A woman shared a crazy story of catching her date meeting up with six different women in one night on Twitter.
• She intercepted the women and they all became friends. 
• Twitter is loving the story. 

We've all been on some horrible dates, but not everyone has five other people with the exact same tale. But that's exactly what happened to Lisette Pylant on Monday evening.

Pylant shared her unlikely and crazy story on Twitter after she said she showed up at a Washington, DC, bar to find that her date had six other dates lined up immediately after her, first spotted by Madison Malone Kircher on New York Magazine's Select All. 

Pylant first explained to her Twitter audience that her friends set her up on a date on her birthday to try and get her to stop talking to her ex. Before she got to the bar where they were meeting, her friends warned her that the guy wasn't great, but she decided to go anyway. 

She said that about 45 minutes into her date, he "friend-zoned" her to try and end it before his next date "Katie" showed up. She tipped off that woman of his plan, but the pair soon realized he had an additional four other women he was planning to meet with that night as well. 

Instead of getting mad, the women slowly grew their ranks as each additional date showed up and became friends over drinks and dinner at another nearby bar. They decided to memorialize the night with a group photo.

"You win some, you lose some — but hopefully you make three new best friends in the process," Pylant wrote on Twitter. "Cheers ladies. Don't f--- with us."

People were absolutely loving this story of the awesome sisterhood between these women. Even the writer of "John Tucker Must Die"— a movie with a very similar premise — chimed in to give props.  

Pylant told New York Magazine that the man seemed to stop at six dates that night and that she wonders if he'll feel bad about his actions now that they've gone viral.

"There wasn't a seventh or eight date," Pylant told Select All. "At least not that we know of. Maybe he'll feel bad when he wakes up and realizes this is all over the internet. [...] This is honestly the craziest thing that's ever happened to me."

As for the ladies? Pylant told New York Magazine that they now have a "sister wives" group chat and will be meeting up for brunch. Oh, and if you're planning on making a movie out of this, she wants to be played be Rihanna. Don't we all?

And while we may never know the identity of this apparently very busy and socially-illiterate man, everyone can learn a lesson here: don't try and double-stack your dates. 

You can read more about the entire saga at New York Magazine. 

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Eric Barker explains the 4 signs (or 4 horseman) that will lead to a relationship ending. Below is the transcript of the video.

John Gottman, who's generally considered the foremost researcher in terms of happy marriages, has defined four things that are the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse.

These are the four problems people run into the real cause issues in marriages and cause marriages to end.

The first is criticism. This is when you start looking at and focusing on just the negatives of your partner as opposed to balancing them out with things you appreciate.

The second issue is defensiveness where people aren't listening to their partner, they're being reactive, and they’re just angrily responding rather than listening and actually have an exchange about it.

The third one is stonewalling where people just shut down. They’re not listening, they’re not responding, they're not involving, the dialogue stops.

And the fourth is contempt which is where you just lose respect for the other person you see them as less than you. Less than they are. When these four things are present, these are serious signs that the relationships in trouble. They're things that you want to avoid in any relationship that you want to last.

On the flip side Gottman talks about three positive things that you can use to help the relationship as opposed to the four horsemen.

The first one is knowing thy partner. The better you get to know your partner than the better and healthier your interactions can be. He actually talks about creating love maps, sort of maps of how this person sees the world from their point of view from their perspective.

The second issue is responding to bids. Bids are when they try to do something positive. They hold your hand. They compliment you. Responding to these bids make the other person feel secure in the relationship.

And the third one is showing admiration. That's a level of positively. As opposed to the four horsemen, which are all negative, showing admiration is saying you respect your partner. You actually may see them as better than they are which is a very positive sign in a relationship.

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It's not uncommon to have some anxieties about how well you're performing in the bedroom. And while whatever sex you and your partner are comfortable with is "good" sex, there is always some room to improve the mood. 

INSIDER spoke to experts to determine some simple and fun ways to up your game between the sheets. 

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Set the "stage" for a romantic night.

While you might be content having sex on your same old Ikea sheets in a room draped in unwashed laundry, if you want better sex, you may want to improve your environment. 

Take some time, clean up your space, light a candle or at least spray some air freshener and strike up some mood lighting. This can show your partner that you're emotionally invested and boost your connection during sex, Alicia Sinclair, certified sex educator, sex coach and founder of b-Vibe& Le Wand, told INSIDER.

Talk about sex outside the bedroom.

Pillow-talk is a great time to get your desires out there, but it's not always the most productive. 

If you want to boost your connection and enjoyment in the bedroom, that starts with talking about your desires during your everyday life. Try bringing up what you'd like out of your next romp in the sheets during a road-trip or walk around the block, sexologist Megan Stubbs told INSIDER.

"Try to start a conversation with your partner in a neutral location," she said. "It is best not to spring new discussions when you are in bed. This removes the pressure from your partner to act or answer in a way that would keep the peace before bed. Car rides are a great location for starting a dialogue."

Stop comparing yourself to others.

It can be hard not to compare yourself to images in the media, so it's no surprise that many people struggle with worrying if they are having "good sex."

Sex therapist Angie Gunntold INSIDER that putting this of your mind is imperative to improving your sex life. 

"One of the biggest mistakes related to sex that I observe in couples is applying assumptions, past experiences, or media constructed ideas about sex to their sex," Gunn said. "Pleasurable, connective sex is often nothing like the models we've been given or images we've observed. Bodies, positions, sounds, and acts are way more diverse, creative and beautiful than the boxes we try to impose."

Most people will admit that they don't feel 100% at all times. Even the most beautiful and successful people have off days, but if you're feeling bad about yourself more than you feel good, you might need a shift in perspective. 

Despite common thinking, feeling more attractive and desirable may have little to do with your outward appearance.

We consulted scientific studies and spoke to relationship and dating experts to find simple lifestyle changes that you can make to appear more attractive both to yourself and others.

These tips can help you begin to see yourself in a more positive light.

Get your sweat on.

You might dread exercise but it can play a big factor in helping yourself feel more attractive.

We're not just talking about exercise's effect on your body physically — exercise is a great way to take some time to get out your aggression, have some time for yourself, and release endorphins, a chemical that can improve your mood. A 2015 study by the University of Turku found that people who exercised reported an increase in confidence.

"Exercise is a great way to feel more attractive,"April Masini, a relationship and etiquette expert, told INSIDER. "Not only are you giving yourself a gift of fitness, but you’re releasing endorphins and balancing work, play and self-care."

Give some compliments.

Getting some love from others might seem like the easiest way to boost your self image, but actually you might want to practice giving some love first.

Talking up good traits about others will help you seem more appealing in their eyes and make you realize the good things about yourself, too. Researchers at the University of Electronic Science and Technology of China suggested in a 2016 study that men who used metaphors to compliment women were found to be more attractive.

"Learning how to properly compliment may just be the key to a second date," matchmaker Denise Levy told INSIDER. "Making other people feel good about themselves increases your attractiveness. People put effort into getting ready for a date so take the time to compliment the other person and mean it!"

Put a smile on.

It's no secret that smiling makes you seem warm and inviting to other people, which can help how they see you. But it turns out you may even get the same benefits by looking in a mirror and smiling at yourself.

"As social creatures, we are programmed to notice the body language of others and scan for cues of safety and welcome," relationship therapist, educator, and author Shadeen Francis told INSIDER. "Smiling is a universal signal for warmth, approachability, and attractiveness." 

"But this also works for yourself; if you smile at yourself in the mirror, you receive very similar neural cues as you would if a familiar friend smiled at you," she said.

Researchers at the University of Cardiff in Wales in 2009 studied how facial expressions can affect a person's mood and found evidence that suggests people who smile more can actually feel happier.

The INSIDER Summary:

• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt announced their separation earlier this week and people have been speculating as to why.
• A report claims that the pair split because of different views on the type of family they wanted. 
• While we can't confirm the report, this is a hurdle most couples will face at some point. 

Our collective hearts broke when the news came out late Sunday night that Chris Pratt and Anna Faris were separating after eight years of marriage. Since fans felt like they knew the pair personally, people quickly scrambled to figure out the reason for the split. 

Soon after they announced their separation, people on social media began speculating that Pratt had been unfaithful to Faris with co-star Jennifer Lawrence, something that the two had denied fervently in the past.

After that, TMZ interviewed a source that said the real reason for the split was far less dramatic: Faris simply wanted a more "traditional" family that was in the same place at the same time. Pratt, with his burgeoning movie career, was often away and it put strain on the couples' marriage. 

Now, it goes without saying that this report should be taken with a grain of salt since it's based on an anonymous source and the real reason will only be confirmed if it comes from Faris and Pratt themselves. But it's not hard to believe that this could very well be the reason — or at least part of the reason — for their separation, as it's something nearly every couple goes through. And it's something everyone can learn a lesson from.

Have an in-depth conversation and have it often. 

When a relationship hits a serious stage and couples get married or commit to each other in some big way, people are often too overcome with excitement or too overwhelmed by the prospect of spending forever with this person to have a deep discussion about where their priorities lie. 

Most couples will have your standard conversation: Do you want kids? How many? Where do you want to live? What are your career goals? But real commitment requires an even deeper dive with even deeper questions: How do you each feel about taking care of aging parents? What will you do if one of you is laid off? What will you do if either of your careers goes better or worse than expected? 

"Making major life decisions or wants with your partner in the dark or assuming that they know what you want and what your goals all, removes the opportunity for discussion, compromise, and support," therapist Stacey Ojeda told INSIDER. "We have to give our partners the opportunity to help us meet our goals and needs to have a healthy relationship."

Even the most well-matched couples are going to have different views on important topics throughout their time together. 

Couples can help avoid confusion by having an open dialogue from the beginning of their relationship.

Make sure, even within the first month of dating someone, that you casually learn more about them and what they find most important. That sets a precedent for a relationship that allows you both to open up about your hard and fast goals — both now and in the future.

"Disclosure from the beginning can save people time and heartache," April Davis, a relationship expert and CEO of LUMA–Luxury Matchmaking, told INSIDER. "When you are starting to get serious your partner share your hard-lined must-haves and have-nots. If you know that you wish to be a homeowner, parent, or living abroad in the next five years let them know."

Accept that people change, but keep your partner in mind. 

People still grow and change while married or committed to someone. The result is, often, the person we commit to isn't always the person we're with 5, 10, or 20 years down the line.

Recognizing that people can change and having constant conversations about priorities is a habit that all couples can benefit from. It's important when making new and exciting decisions that you include your partner in that vision of your future. 

"The biggest mistake is sharing without making their partner feel like their apart of the vision," counselor Shuntai Walker told INSIDER. "Its important to include and not exclude your loved one. Even if its just for moral support."

Sometimes change can't be avoided.

These types of conversations about priorities and the future are important, but that's not to say that Faris and Pratt are breaking up because they didn't have these conversations. Sometimes even couples who talk about this frequently can experience changes, like Pratt's sudden box office success or the tabloid rumors of infidelity that Faris openly said made her feel lonely and insecure. 

Very often, a change in perspective or priorities cannot be avoided and the marriage has to end. But keeping an open dialogue will help you identify when things aren't working out between you and your partner, and how to best shift focus to improve your relationship, movie stars or not. 

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Matthew Hussey, dating expert at howtogettheguy.com and howtogettheguy.com/blog and author of New York Times bestseller "Get the Guy," told Business Insider UK what he thinks is the best thing to do when somebody disappears from your dating life.

Here's a transcript of the video:

The only way to deal with ghosting is to keep moving forward.

People worry all the time. "Why did he disappear? Why did she not text back? Why did they show so much interest and then all of a sudden they're going cold?" 

It doesn't matter. The only thing you need to know is that they disappeared. Closure is overrated.

You could waste your whole life trying to get closure on something that person is never going to be honest with you about anyway.

How many people actually know why their ex-partner broke up with them? They got their ex-partner's version. They didn't necessarily get the real version.

Closure is overrated. Let me tell you what's underrated: your time. Your time is the most precious resource you'll ever have.

If you use your time analysing something instead of moving forward and meeting someone new – you're crazy.

Time is the most finite resource. You have to see yourself as a train that's leaving the station. Your life is a train that is going somewhere.

Someone can either step on board, or they can get off. They can't sit there with one foot on the train and one foot out of the train and expect not to get hurt. This train is leaving the station.

The next time somebody is ghosting you, you move on. You meet somebody else. That's it.

Produced by Claudia Romeo. Filmed by David Ibekwe.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A survey asked millennials who had recently cheated why they strayed from their relationship. 
• The overwhelming reason they gave was "interdependence" or a need for more connection in their relationship. 
• The second, funnily enough, was a need for independence. 

If you've ever been cheated on, you've probably been left with a lot of questions, the biggest being why? 

Obviously everyone has their own reasons for cheating, but a new study conducted by the University of Tennessee found that the biggest reason why millennial-aged people say they cheated is something that you've probably never even heard of: interdependence. 

Interdependence is the desire to be truly connected to your partner and feel that they love and value you. When the university surveyed 104 young people, with an average age of 22 who had cheated in the last six months, a shocking 73% of them cite "interdependence" as their reason for straying. 

It makes sense that this would cause infidelity at such a high rate because interdependence covers a wide array of problems. People who say their relationship lacks "interdependence" can mean anything from lack of a spark, decreased amount of sex, poor communication, and more, according to the study. 

This also makes sense because, according to studies, "emotional cheating" is the fastest growing form of cheating. This type of cheating is more focused on personal attention and conversation and doesn't even need a physical aspect. 

Even more surprising was the second-highest reason people said they strayed: a need for independence. About 20% of respondents said they cheated because they felt the need to feel more separate and free from their partner, which seems to contradict the most popular response. 

And of course, subsequent reasons why people said they cheated was the influence of alcohol and the fact that the person they cheated with was attractive. 

While emotional detachment and feelings of loneliness can be tough and painful to deal with in a relationship, there are far more options to deal with it than trying to get emotional fulfillment through an affair. Talk to your partner about your feelings and make your needs known. If they're unable to fill your needs, you might need to seek help or end the relationship. 

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