Kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve is a long held tradition.
It could date back to ancient Rome, where the Romans would hold debaucherous parties every year, full of kissing and alcohol.
A dilemma of single people everywhere is who you're going to kiss when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve.
There's nothing lonelier than standing in a room of couples all bringing in the new year with locked lips, while you're there sadly holding your Champagne and meekly singing along to "Auld Lang Syne."
Like with most traditions, it's meaningless. It's not a sign you'll spend the whole year miserable and alone if you don't find someone who wants to kiss you. But also like other traditions, it does date back a long time.
Some historians trace it back to ancient Rome. The Romans knew how to party, and would throw a big celebration every year called the Festival of Saturnalia. Presumably, a lot of debauchery and kissing would happen, and this tradition filtered down to the rest of Europe.
Saturnalia is also a part of why we kiss under mistletoe. In ancient Greece, to celebrate the festival, people would kiss underneath the parasitic plant because it was associated with fertility. The Romans would reconcile differences with enemies under mistletoe, as it represented peace.
Later on, during the Renaissance, masquerade balls were popular across Europe. Bustle reported that at midnight, people would remove their masks, and kisses were a way of purifying each other from evil. It was a way of starting the new year with a clean slate.
English and German folklore built on this idea, and spread the superstition that a midnight kiss strengthens a budding romance, and avoiding it could mean a loveless year ahead.
Wherever the idea really originated, it's likely not based on anything concrete. It is a fun tradition, though, and it's always nice to have someone around to bring the new year in with.
However, if you're really worried about being kiss-less at the beginning of the new year, then you might want to go to Scotland.
During Hogmanay, the Scottish new year celebration, it is traditional to give a kiss to everyone in the room. The idea is to connect friends and strangers, and it also makes the single people feel a bit better.
Rachel Sussman is a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City.
She sees many couples who are struggling with differences in their personalities and values.
Sussman said that opposites may attract initially, but over time it may become more of a problem.
The beginning stages of a relationship are all about guesswork: Is she into me? Was that a flirtatious text, or just a friendly one? Is he still seeing other people?
As the relationship progresses, the guesswork continues, but in a slightly different capacity: Will she still be into me in 20 years? Will I still be into her? And those type of questions are a lot harder to answer.
So hard to answer, in fact, that many couples guess wrong and wind up seeking out professional help for their problems. Some of those couples land in Rachel Sussman's office.
Sussman, a relationship therapist and marriage counselor in New York City, told me that opposites may attract initially — but over time, too much difference can start to wear on a romantic bond. She said:
"Oftentimes the problems that you start to have early on when you're dating that you might not pay attention to, or you might brush them under the rug or say, ‘Oh, that's not so bad; we'll get through that,' then add 10 years of marriage into that, and all of a sudden all those things that were bothering you when you were dating seem to be major deal breakers … where you are considering: Do you want to go forward? Do you still want to be with this person?"
She added: "The way I see it is, opposites attract and with the passage of time, a lot of couples tend to resent the things that are opposite."
Sussman used a hypothetical example of a couple in which one partner is highly social and outgoing and the other is more of a homebody. Initially those tendencies might complement each other, Sussman said; the couple might even say, "we balance each other out."
The problem is, Sussman said, over time "people get more set in their ways" and there's less opportunity for compromise or mutual understanding.
Pay attention to the differences between you and your partner, even when you first start dating
Sussman's observations echo those of Gretchen Rubin, an expert on happiness and habits and the author of, most recently, "The Four Tendencies." When Rubin visited the Business Insider office in September, she explained that people with opposite personalities may initially gravitate toward each other, only to clash later on.
Research on the importance of having similar personalities in a romantic relationship is mixed. One study, for example, of middle-aged and older couples, found that while personality similarity wasn't related to initial marital satisfaction, it predicted a downward trend in marital satisfaction over the next decade.
I asked Sussman if most couples who come to her because of clashes in personality or habits are aware that that's what they're fighting about — if they're aware that the very behaviors that drive them mad today are the same ones that drew them closer a decade earlier.
"Sometimes yes; sometimes no," she said. Sometimes she'll point it out herself and one partner will say, "Yeah, but it's gotten worse over time," while the other partner says, "No, it hasn't."
As is typically the case with romantic relationships, there are no definitive answers or solutions here. But perhaps the greatest takeaway is not to ignore or shrug off your differences, as Sussman said so many couples do. It's not necessarily a sign that you're doomed to divorce, but it's worth paying attention to and having a conversation about.
But you also have to be careful about who you date in the first place, because toxic, high conflict people have always been around.
The trouble is, these people are often hard to spot because at first they come across as someone charismatic, attractive, and affectionate.
In a blog post in Psychology Today, therapist Bill Eddy highlights three ways you can suss out whether the person you are dating is high conflict, and will likely cause you trouble later on. Eddy and his colleague Megan Hunter created a survey and asked people who ended up in relationships with high conflict people what red flags they missed in the early stages.
Here were the three warning signs they came up with:
1. Excessive charm
About 80% of the people who responded to the survey said they were swept up by their partner's charm while they were dating. They said there was an "immediate spark," but this evaporated once they had committed to the relationship.
"Charm doesn’t always mean that the person is an HCP, but it’s a surprising warning sign," Eddy wrote. "If the person seems too good to be true, you might look deeper."
2. Fake compatibility
Another way high conflict people seem too good to be true is how compatible they seem. On the surface it looks like they have a lot in common with their partners, when in reality they are probably just mirroring their victim's behaviour in order to reel them in.
Once the victim is committed to the relationship, the high conflict person starts to show their true colours.
3. Intense Sexuality
Nearly 50% of the respondents said their physical relationships developed very quickly and intensely. It is common for narcissists to be sex addicts, or at least claim to be. While they are interested in targeting you, you will be the object of their affection. But once you make it known you are committed, they will seek their thrills elsewhere.
It is important to remember that these are just warning signs, and are in no way conclusive indicators that someone is high conflict, a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath.
But it is a good idea to keep them in mind when you meet someone new, just because so many people fall for the same tricks and end up in abusive relationships.
"Ask friends and family what they think. Take your time and don’t believe that you can change him or her," Eddy wrote. "The partner you really want to find will let you be yourself, and let you take your time to get to know them."
When I attended my 10-year high school reunion back in 2004, my husband and I were recognized for being the high school sweethearts who’d been together the longest. By that point, we had been together for 13 years and married for six. We were, in no way, an anomaly. My friend Heather and her husband started dating just weeks after us, and at least five other couples had also been in together since high school. Unfortunately, by the time the 20-year reunion rolled around, many other high school sweethearts had gone their separate ways.
My husband and I have had our own share of ups and downs in the last 26 years. But I am happy to report that we are still together, and have learned a few important lessons along the way.
There is such a thing as being too young
I started dating my husband when we were both 15. I was a high school freshman and he was a sophomore, and looking back, neither of us had any real romantic experience. At 15, we had no way of knowing how much work and compromise we’d have to put into making our relationship last. We certainly couldn’t have predicted how our futures would be affected by being together since high school. It impacted everything from the colleges we attended, to when we would get married and have kids.
We started so early that we ended up doing everything too soon and too young.
Today, our own daughter is 15 and a high school freshman, and after all that we’ve been through, we can’t imagine her getting into a serious relationship at this age.
You will never be truly happy if you’re always broke
The saying is, "money can’t buy happiness." But after almost 20 years of marriage, and countless financial ups and downs, believe me when I tell you that NOT having money can destroy your relationship.
Most couples are able to survive a financial bump in the road or two. But living paycheck to paycheck for years, never being able to get ahead, and leading a life of constant sacrifice is a surefire recipe for disaster. This is especially true if these sacrifices don’t come with a light at the end of the tunnel such as college degree, a thriving business, or a promotion.
Before getting into a long-term relationship, make sure that you’re both on the same page financially. Consider what you want your future to look like, the kind of income you need in order to make that happen, and what that means as far as your career choices. You don’t need to be rich to be happy, you should just be able to live comfortably and happily within your means. Pay your bills on time, have a little nest egg, and set some money aside to spend on the occasional date night and the weekend getaway.
Don’t stop dating.
It’s no coincidence that the most difficult chapters of our marriage have corresponded with the times we stopped going on date nights. Besides allowing us an opportunity to relax and reconnect as a couple, date nights also give us time to talk about all of the important things we might not be able to discuss in front of the kids
A date doesn’t have to mean getting dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant. It can mean taking a drive, going on a long walk, or leaving the kids with Grandma overnight so you can have the house to yourselves.
Rachel Sussman is a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City.
She says many couples she sees are worried about the decline — or disappearance — of passion in their relationship.
Sussman says it takes effort and creativity to rekindle that passion. Research-backed strategies include trying something new and laughing together.
"Were we really put on this earth to have a monogamous sex life for 50 years and have passion the entire time for our partner?" says Rachel Sussman. "I don't think so."
Sussman is a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, and she doesn't beat around the bush when she talks about passion — and its inevitable decline — in long-term relationships.
It comes down to human history, she says. "When the human species was created, people weren't mating for 50, 60 years."
Chalk it up to an evolutionary mismatch, increasing stress, or something else: Some therapists and researchers alike have observed that romantic passion does seem to fade like clockwork. One 2003 study of married couples, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggests it takes, on average, two years after wedding day. Sussman mentioned it takes about 18 months after a couple starts dating.
So when couples come to see Sussman complaining about the lack of passion in their relationship, she wants them to know: This is normal.
People are worried "that something's wrong with them," she told me. They think "maybe something's wrong with the couple; maybe something's wrong with them individually."
Chances are, there's not. The "problem," if there is one, is the couple's approach to the presence or absence of passion.
"People think, ‘Oh, it should just be there,'" Sussman said. "No! It shouldn't just be there. You have to create it."
One passion-creation strategy Sussman recommends is scheduling sex — like, on the calendar. It's a tip that Bat Sheva Marcus, the sexual dysfunction specialist and clinical director of The Medical Center For Female Sexuality, has also shared with Business Insider. A sex schedule can be especially helpful, Sussman said, if the couple is busy, or has young kids, or if one person goes to bed earlier than the other.
You may just have to be patient while you try to rekindle the passion in your relationship
A 2013 paper published in the Journal of Positive Psychology focuses on countering "hedonic adaptation" in romantic relationships, i.e. gradually getting accustomed to your partner and your relationship until the passion and satisfaction you felt initially wears off.
The authors — Katherine Jacobs Bao and Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California, Riverside review several techniques for keeping things fresh. One is making an effort to try new things.
Psychologist Arthur Aron has led multiple studies that find doing something new and exciting— as opposed to routine — can lead to greater relationship satisfaction. Think dancing or hiking, instead of seeing a movie (assuming you go dancing and hiking less often than you see movies).
One of my favorite insights from the Bao and Lyubomirsky paper is that "people can mistake surges in adrenaline for sexual attraction." The authors cite a well-known 1974 study, published in the journal of Personality and Social Psychology, that found men who crossed a shaky bridge were more likely to call up an attractive research assistant (she'd given out her phone number) than men who crossed a more stable bridge.
In other words: It's OK — and sometimes even advisable — to trick yourself into feeling passionate.
Another possibility, based on a 2015 study published in the journal Personal Relationships, is to find opportunities to laugh together.
All that said, one way to supplement your efforts to recreate passion in a long-term relationship is simply to do what Lyubomirsky calls "taking the long view." In a 2012 New York Times op-ed, she wrote: "Research shows that marital happiness reaches one of its highest peaks during the period after offspring have moved out of the family home."
If you've just gotten married, that day may be a long way away. The point isn't necessarily to wait until you have kids and shove them out — it's to be patient. Lyuobomirsky wrote in The Times: "A marriage is likely to change shape multiple times over the course of its lifetime; it must be continually rebuilt if it is to thrive."
Socialite and billionaire heiress Paris Hilton is engaged. Her new fiancé, actor Chris Zylka, proposed during a ski trip in Aspen, Colorado over New Year's weekend.
Hilton and Zylka have been together for about two years and they're known for their lovey-dovey Instagram posts and public gushing about their relationship.
Below, check out the highlights of Hilton and Zylka's romance.
Paris Hilton, 36, just got engaged to Chris Zylka, 32. Zylka proposed during a weekend ski trip in Aspen, Colorado, with a 20-carat, pear-shaped diamond. The ring's designer told PEOPLE it's worth about $2 million.
"I am so excited to be engaged to the love of my life and my best friend," Hilton told PEOPLE. "I have never felt so happy, safe and loved. He is perfect for me in every way and showed me that fairytales really do exist!"
Photos of Laura Dern, 50, and Baron Davis, 38, showing PDA in Los Angeles surfaced online in December 2017.
People took to Twitter to express how much they love this new couple.
One person called the relationship "unexpected in a pleasant way."
Dern is known for her roles on "Little Big Lies" and "Jurassic Park," while Baron, a former NBA player, has recently served as an executive producer and actor on TV shows and films.
It is unclear how the couple met and how long they've been dating.
Actress Laura Dern and former NBA star Baron Davis may seem like an unexpected pairing, but after photos surfaced of them together, people have become completely obsessed.
Davis is known for being a former NBA player and a two-time all-star, but he is also a producer and actor. He has served as an executive producer and actor on various TV shows and films, including "Mozart in the Jungle" and "The Night Before."
Based on the photos, Dern and Davis make a stylish couple as well, according to Twitter.
i'm as thrilled as the rest of u to hear the important news re: Laura Dern & Baron Davis but we're not paying enough attention to this red sweatshirt that says "have a nice day" and we need to celebrate this great sweatshirt!!! pic.twitter.com/Ystk0oMhid
There's still so much we don't know, such as where and how they met, and how long they've been dating. Here's hoping the next few months provide answers to these burning questions as well as even more photos of the couple together.
Researchers from the Department of Psychology at the University of South Florida recruited 103 women from the ages of 21 and 31, and told them they were taking part in a consumer survey for men's cologne and drinks.
In reality, they were trying to do a reverse of an experiment that found the scents given off by women in the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle made men drink more alcohol.
The women were given fragrance strips strayed with either manufactured androstenone — a pheromone found in human sweat— or water. Both groups were told they were sniffing men's cologne. Then, they were given the option to drink two glasses of non-alcoholic beer. (An alcohol free version was used for safety reasons.)
Over the course of 10 minutes, those who smelt the pheremone drank a tenth more than the control group who were given the water "cologne."
The researchers concluded that male scents might instigate drinking because there is a cultural association between drinking alcohol and having sex. Research has shown that alcohol suppresses psychological inhibitions, which may lead to an increased desire for sex.
"Because of the centrality of sexual signaling to fundamental evolutionary/biological forces, these results indicate a potentially powerful influence on alcohol consumption that calls for continued investigation," the study concludes.
In fact, Business Insider's Jessica Orwig reported on research that found couples in long-distance relationship can be just as happy as couples who live closer together. One researcher told Orwig that the key is communication: stating your needs and setting expectations.
'Trust each other, and be worthy of one another's trust'
Betsy Megas says trust is "by and far the most important thing" in her long-distance relationship with her partner. "I don't feel we have any secrets between us," she adds.
'Talk through doubts and uncertainties together, and work on them together'
Megas says she and her partner have hashed out tough topics like, "Is he going to be homesick when he gets here?" and "Am I ever going to know enough Swedish to carry on a conversation with his mom?"
"I don't know the answer to either of these questions," she admits, but discussing them has helped them find some potential solutions.
"If you aren't together, you need to occupy your time. Engage in activities and develop your friendships. I've found that LDRs that have failed often came from isolation and unnecessary degrees of loneliness. You aren't doing yourself — or your partner — a favor by being home and available all the time. You should mutually agree to be active in order to stay happy."
Ellen Page dropped a surprise marriage announcement on social media Wednesday.
The "Flatliners" actress and her new wife, dancer Emma Portner, posted matching photos of their beautiful wedding bands.
"Can't believe I get to call this extraordinary woman my wife," Page captioned her post.
Ellen Page seems to have bypassed the traditional engagement period and jumped straight into married life.
On Wednesday, the actress surprised fans with an Instagram post announcing her marriage to Emma Portner. In the photo, which Portner also shared on Instagram, the two are gently touching hands while showing off their minimalist wedding bands.
A post shared by @ ellenpage on Jan 3, 2018 at 12:19pm PST on
"Can't believe I get to call this extraordinary woman my wife," Page wrote.
Portner echoed the sentiment, writing, "I get to call this incredible woman MY WIFE! @ellenpage I LOVE YOU!"
The posts also included photos of the newly married couple cuddling and sporting some adorable hats. (Editor's note: Click through the Instagram post below to see the additional photos.)
A post shared by Emma Portner (@emmaportner) on Jan 3, 2018 at 12:19pm PST on
Although there was no public knowledge of an engagement, a representative for Page confirmed the surprise marriage to People. INSIDER reached out to Page's rep for comment, but has yet to hear back.
Portner, a dancer and choreographer, is originally from Ottawa, Ontario. She teaches at the Broadway Dance Center in New York City and playfully describes herself as both a "student of the web-wide-world" and "probably carsick" in her Instagram bio.
If Portner looks familiar, you may have seen her featured in Justin Bieber's "PURPOSE: The Movement" music videos and tour performances. She also choreographed and starred in the video for his single, "Life Is Worth Living."
Over a third of people admit to making New Year's resolutions for their partner.
These include eating healthier, losing weight, and exercising.
According to a study from Bupa, the average person worries about their partner's health twice a week.
Two thirds of the nation even admit they put their loved one’s health ahead of their own all year round.
Health is a common theme when making New Year's resolutions. But we normally tend to think of them as a way of bettering ourselves.
According to a survey by Bupa Health Clinics, millions of people in the UK will be setting goals for their partners, too.
Bupa asked 2,000 adults about their resolution habits, and found that 37% confessed to coming up with one for their other half. More men admitted to the trend, at 44% compared to 30% of women.
Most suggestions for the new year were eating healthier (44%), losing weight (435), and to exercise (36%). But other health issues were concerns too, with 25% wanting their partner to be less stressed, and 15% asking them to make more time for their home life with an improved work-life balance.
Two thirds of people said they worry about their partner's health throughout the year, with the average person worrying about it more than twice a week. Two thirds of the nation even admitted to putting their loved one’s health ahead of their own all year round.
About 30% of respondents said they talk to their other half on a weekly basis about their health, and nearly two thirds admitted to sneakily making changes to try and improve their partner's health, like swapping food for low-fat options, or hiding treats.
"The research shows that people put more focus on their loved ones' health at the cost of their own," said Dr Petra Simic, the clinical director at Bupa Health Clinics.
"It's wonderful to see what a caring nation we are, but it's important to understand that looking after ourselves actually gives us the ability to look after others, and is just as important. Regardless of the time of year, couples can work together on setting goals and helping each other to achieve them."
Here are the top 10 concerns people had about the health of their other halves:
1. Getting stressed easily (30%)
2. Not sleeping enough (29%)
3. Niggling ailments like back pain or a persistent cough (26%)
The actress shared on Instagram that she recently married dancer and choreographer Emma Portner. The photo set shows off their wedding bands, an adorable shot of the couple cuddling, and a portrait of Portner — who Page called an "extraordinary woman" in her caption. (Editor's note: Click through the Instagram post below to see the additional photos.)
A post shared by @ ellenpage on Jan 3, 2018 at 12:19pm PST on
Fans have been following this love story on social media since May, when Page first posted an interpretive dance clip that praised Portner. Since then, the couple's posts have included collaborative dance videos, acoustic covers, and plenty of clever captions.
A post shared by @ ellenpage on Aug 19, 2017 at 7:44pm PDT on
Page, who is known for her starring stints in the X-Men franchise, "Inception," and "Juno," made a splash in September when she brought Portner as her date to the premiere of her new film, "Flatliners."
But aside from rare public appearances and scattered social media nuggets, Page has not shared many details about Portner and their thriving relationship.
Here's everything you need to know about Page's now-wife.
Portner is from Ottawa, Ontario.
Like Page — who was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia — Portner is Canadian. She began dancing at the age of 3, training intensively with companies like Leeming Danceworks and The National Ballet School of Canada, according to The Cut.
When Portner was 16 years old, she moved to New York to train at The Ailey School.
She caught her big break as a teenager.
The same year that Portner moved to New York, she met Los Angeles-based dancer Matt Luck. They choreographed and starred in a performance called "Dancing In the Dark," which went viral in 2012.
The video racked up hundreds of thousands of viewers — including the hip-hop choreographer Parris Goebel, who had been enlisted to direct Justin Bieber's ambitious "PURPOSE: The Movement" project. The goal was to create a unique dance video for each of Bieber's songs on his new "Purpose" album.
Goebel asked Portner to choreograph and star in Bieber's music video for "Life Is Worth Living."
"I wanted different styles for each song on the album, and I knew Emma would bring this one to life," Goebel tells Dance Spirit.
"Life Is Worth Living" now has almost 50 million views.
The video, which was posted to YouTube in 2015, featured Portner in a dance duet with Patrick Cook.
"We had six hours to make a dance," Portner tells Dance Spirit. "I did my best to make something that would be well received on a commercial platform, but still pushes the platform in a new direction."
Due to the success of the video, Portner was contacted by the creative director of Bieber's Purpose World Tour, Nick DeMoura. He gave her the opportunity to choreograph a piece of the tour.
"The tour was something so unlike me, but I'm really grateful for that opportunity. It opened me up to this elite world of artists that I never would have been exposed to," Portner said. "Now, I'm experiencing an influx of people contacting me to work on their videos and tours, and I'm able to be specific about what I choose to do."
Portner is an award-winning choreographer who has captivated the dance world.
Even before Bieber's influence took effect on Portner's career, she had been garnering attention from dance enthusiasts and professionals.
The New York Times has called her work "beguiling," while The Cut wrote that Portner's moves have "transfixed the dance world." Dance Spirit labeled her "an incredibly focused, multi-hyphenate artist,""powerful yet seemingly boneless," and "a melting pot of dance."
Portner, who identifies as queer, tells Bustle that she wants to challenge expectations with her androgynous look, black T-shirts, and powerful movements — to reject the expectation to "dance smaller."
A post shared by Emma Portner (@emmaportner) on Nov 24, 2017 at 12:34pm PST on
"In dance there's an extreme imbalance of woman to men, especially in the commercial contemporary world. So if there's a boys' group, they get so much more seen than the women. They get more space. They get more for their money. They just get more," she says.
She now lives in New York City, where she heads her own dance company and teaches at the Broadway Dance Center.
Portner founded a dance company called Emma Portner and Artists, which she now directs and manages.
At the Broadway Dancer Center, she teaches "a class of exploring, sharing and pushing boundaries," according to the website.
Portner and Page met through Instagram.
Portner has grown accustomed to catapulting her career forward by using Instagram, where she boasts nearly 100,000 followers. According to The Cut, she held off hiring a manager until a few months ago because directors, choreographers, and organizations found and approached her through social media.
But Instagram brought Portner more than professional opportunities. After posting a video to a song by Sylvan Esso, the band shared the video — and caught Page's eye.
Page thought Portner was "the s---" and DM'd her, according to The Cut.
When planning a wedding, it can be difficult to figure out what kind of vibe you want. Though you want it to be timeless, trends can be a good place to start to figure out what you're interested in. 2017 was the year of naked cakes, pastels, donuts, and charity registries, but 2018 has new things in store.
To find out what weddings will look like in 2018, we talked to some of the people who know best: wedding planners and other vendors who'll be tasked with pulling the couples' visions together.
Mixed metals
Although gold and silver have long been used in weddings, more metallic hues are getting in on the fun — and you can expect to see them intermingle in 2018.
"Gold's a staple, it's always going to be a staple, but we saw the introduction of copper and rose gold in more recent years and those became popular," Sarah Quinlivan, owner and lead planner at Quintessential Events told INSIDER. "Silver is starting to come back pretty hard and I know I'm pushing some of my couples to [not] just stick to a certain metal. Let's mix it up, just to give the room and the tables a lot of texture."
Quinlivan said that a lot of the couples she works with are very open to the idea of mixing metallic shades together, so she expects to see that at more weddings in the future.
Smaller bouquets
If you've ever carried a bouquet, you probably know quite well that they can be a bit of an annoyance. Large bouquets can be heavy and awkward to hold, but are, of course, often made up of gorgeous blooms and interesting greenery.
In 2018, you might see smaller bouquets (but just as beautiful) heading down the aisle.
"An unexpected trend is many of my fashion-forward brides are requesting smaller bouquets," Michelle Edgemont, owner of Michelle Edgemont Design, said. "Still in the natural, loose style, although not as giant as bouquets have been in 2017. They want smaller, loose bouquets that use a variety of high-end blooms, such as peonies and ranunculus, that let their pretty wedding dresses shine."
Dark and moody color palette
It seems like nearly every couple has embraced the blush, cream, golden, and pastel hues that have been increasingly popular over the last few years. Expect that to change in 2018. The follow-up to those pretty, ethereal color palettes? A "dark and moody" color palette.
Quinlivan said that people should expect to see more black used in weddings, as well as other super-dark shades. It's something different, something dramatic, and, if done correctly, can create an interesting and memorable effect.
The singer reflected on his sexuality, his new relationship, and how his love life affects his music.
"I'm in a relationship right now and for the first time, I think I deserve to be happy. I'm actually asking myself if I'm going to be writing some happy love songs soon."
"On a personal level, I'm in a relationship right now and for the first time, I think I deserve to be happy," Smith told Sarah Jessica Parker, who conducted the interview. "I'm actually asking myself if I'm going to be writing some happy love songs soon."
A post shared by Brandon Flynn (@flynnagin11) on Dec 21, 2017 at 3:59pm PST on
Smith announced that he was no longer single in an interview with Ellen DeGeneres back in October — and even revealed that "four or five" of the songs on his sophomore album, "The Thrill of It All," were written about his new boyfriend.
In the V interview, Smith described his songs as "a real form of therapy" and the album itself as a manifestation of self-love.
The "Pray" singer also reflected on his newfound comfort with his sexuality, professing that in the past few years, he "became a gay man properly."
"I'm really proud because, even with this whole dreaded second album thing the industry makes everyone concentrate on, I'm putting out a second album that couldn't be more me — and it couldn't be gayer," Smith said. "I'm so proud of that. I'm excited to be singing songs like 'Him' in parts of the world that maybe aren't as open in terms of sexuality. To be that raw in front of people is daunting and scary, but the high is incredible."
A post shared by Sam Smith (@samsmithworld) on Jan 3, 2018 at 12:52pm PST on
And as far as a New Year's resolution, Smith is just as honest and romantic as ever: "I hope I fall into a deep, beautiful relationship where I allow someone to love me back as much as I love them."
Considering all the PDA and flirty social media exchanges between Smith and Flynn, we think the singer is well on his way to realizing that dream.
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Ryan Reynolds opened up about his anxiety in an interview with Variety.
The actor says that the expectations surrounding "Deadpool," caused him crippling stress and sleep loss.
Luckily, he said his wife Blake Lively was there to help him through.
"Blake helped me through that. I'm lucky to have her around just to keep me sane."
Anxiety doesn't discriminate, and even affects some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Take Ryan Reynolds for example, who opened up about struggles with anxiety that began at a very young age.
"[My] father was tough. He wasn't easy on anyone. And he wasn't easy on himself," Reynolds says in an interview with Variety. "I think the anxiety might have started there, trying to find ways to control others by trying to control myself. At the time, I never recognized that. I was just a twitchy kid."
If pure anxiety was an Olympic sport, I'd feel really fucking anxious about all the gold medals I just won like a BOSS.
Reynolds evolved into a full-fledged movie star, and single-handedly spearheaded the production of a new Marvel movie, "Deadpool." Against all odds — the low budget, the hesitant production studio, the R rating — the 2016 film became the highest-grossing R-rated movie in box office history.
Although the success of Reynolds' passion project calmed his nerves, fans' expectations and excitement during promotion only stoked his anxiety.
"By the time we were in post, we'd been to Comic-Con, and people went crazy for it. The expectations were eating me alive," Reynolds tells Variety.
A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on Apr 26, 2017 at 3:21pm PDT on
Reynolds and Lively may be everyone's favorite couple, but the two are candid when it comes to their "perfect" lives. In an interview with Glamour, Lively also revealed that she has "complete anxiety" when it comes to the sexist media and how people portray her.
"Not all men, but a subsection of men, have a desire to understand and control women. To do that, you have to paint them into this thing you can wrap your head around. But women are complex," she says. "It also is [a reminder] that what you see in the media is not real life. The night before an interview, I have complete anxiety: How is this person going to spin me?"
The "All I See Is You" actress also touches upon the strangeness of being a reserved person employed in Hollywood, which is a conflict that she and Reynolds share.
"My husband and I are really shy people who express ourselves best when we're acting, when we're hiding as someone else," Lively tells Glamour. "So the fact that very shy people have to share that shy person with the world — and are sometimes hurt by it — it's very weird emotionally."
Despite her dismissal of these thoughts as "champagne problems," anxiety is a real issue that affects many Americans. We're glad that Reynolds and Lively are able to support each other.
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Meghan Trainor revealed that her fiancé sparked her new interest in health and fitness.
She said that he "saved" her, and taught her how to cook healthy meals.
Cooking together could benefit your relationship by helping you communicate and indirectly increasing your libido.
Whether it's your family, friends, or partner, having someone to hold you accountable could help you reach your health and fitness goals — and singer Meghan Trainor knows this all too well.
Trainor used to struggle with exercise before meeting Sabara, especially after her two vocal cord surgeries. His support helped her make changes to her daily routine. Although the duo doesn't plan on tying the knot too soon, their health is at the forefront of their minds if they plan to eventually have kids, People reports.
"That's why I’m working on my body," Trainor said. "I want to be as healthy as I possibly can be for one day when we want to have kids."
A post shared by Meghan Trainor (@meghan_trainor) on Nov 21, 2017 at 3:02pm PST on
Eating healthy and exercising regularly are known to be good ideas for your health, but your relationship could benefit from both too. Cooking as a couple is especially great for forming a strong, long-lasting bond with your partner. According to researchers at Stony Brook University, couples who reported being "intensely in love" after a more than a decade of marriage found that physical affection and sharing novel experiences — including cooking — were the keys to their success.
For Trainor and Sabara it seems that having similar health priorities is working for them and they might just motivate you to start cooking healthy meals with your partner.
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We interviewed four couples in which both partners are relationship experts about their best marriage advice.
Common themes emerged, including: Stay curious about your partner, and know the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Ultimately, marriage is hard for everyone, but there are some time-tested tricks to make it easier.
There's a curious trend among relationship experts: Many of them are married. To each other.
When I first realized this, it sounded to me like the makings of either heaven or hell.
Case for heaven: No one ever name-calls, or violates their partner's trust, or shuts down emotionally because you both know those are counterproductive behaviors. Case for hell: You can't storm off like a child during an argument about chores because you just counseled a client not to do that this morning.
Curious to know which way the pendulum swings, I called up four married couples in which both partners are relationship experts and asked whether and how they practice what they preach.
In the four conversations, I heard some common themes about the conflicts that have played out in their marriages and how they've used their knowledge of successful relationships to resolve them.
Read on to find out how the pros do marriage — and what can you learn from them.
Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski, PhD co-wrote the forthcoming book "Happy Together," in which they apply insights from positive psychology to romantic relationships. Pileggi Pawelski's background is in journalism; Pawelski is a philosopher. Both had been successful in their individual careers, but their approaches to research and writing were starkly different.
Pawelski talked about the importance of "interdependence," which he acknowledged "could be a challenge." At one point, Pileggi Pawelski showed her husband a draft of a chapter she'd written. Pawelski thought they could do better.
Seeing how much energy she'd put into the drafts, Pawelski told me, "I had a choice of saying, 'OK, these drafts are good; we can just kind of tweak them a little bit and then we're good to go.' Or, I could say to her, 'Honestly, I think we need to take them apart and put them back together again and I think they'll be better."
Ultimately, Pawelski gave his wife "some time to think it through more," and she realized the draft could in fact use some revision. Interdependence, Pawelski said, is about standing up for your perspective and also being willing to yield a little to the other person's perspective.
They know the 'why'
Peter Pearson, PhD and Ellyn Bader, PhD run the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. Pearson told me one of their biggest points of friction is that he has a "higher tolerance for visual disarray when it comes to clutter, much higher than Ellyn."
Most of the time, Pearson said, he's more conscious of the amount of clutter around and does something about it.
"There's a bigger picture of what we want to create in our relationship," he said, "and having a clutter-free environment helps us both. So it's the why. … Why would I be interested in putting forth the effort of less clutter? Why would Ellyn be interested in relaxing her standards?"
The "why" varies from couple to couple, Pearson said. It's about what you want to create more of as a twosome, whether that's peace, happiness, or personal fulfillment.
They listen with curiosity
Every couple I interviewed mentioned something about staying curious — during conflict and in general.
Carrie Cole, MEd, LPC, and Don Cole, DMin, LPC-S, LMFT-S, who are the research director and clinical director, respectively, at the Gottman Institute, shared something similar. Recently, Carrie was visibly upset with Don because she'd asked him a question and he'd blown her off. Instead of getting defensive, Carrie said, Don got curious.
He asked questions like, "Why did that bother you so badly?" and was willing to listen to the answer. Carrie told me it's about feeling validated. "For somebody to say, 'Tell me more about that' and 'Where does that come from for you? What's your history around that?' That really soothes me."
Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, president and cofounder at the Gottman Institute, said her husband, John Gottman, PhD, cofounder at the Gottman Institute, adopted a relationship-strengthening strategy directly from their own research.
"If I was really upset about something or making a complaint about a behavior of his," she said, "rather than going defensive, he would say, 'What do you need? Honey, what do you need?' And immediately all the tension would met away. The anger would melt away. It was a balm to my soul."
Why? "Because John recognized that when I was upset about something, first of all my feelings were valid," she said. "He loved me and my feelings mattered," plus he showed a willingness to help ease her distress.
According to scientific research, this is because the same areas in the brain are activated when we feel heartbreak and when we feel physical pain.
Other studies have also shown that love is like an addiction, and losing it can be like going through withdrawal.
Psychologist Guy Winch believes understanding why we feel, think, and behave as we do after a break-up is important for recovery.
Anyone who has been through a break-up will tell you how much it hurts. When the person you care about the most tells you they don't want to be with you anymore, it can feel like your whole world is falling apart.
But as well as the body, our brains also go through a lot after a break up. In a post on Psychology Today, psychologist Guy Winch wrote about the effects that splitting up with our partner can have on our brains.
When someone tells you they are in pain after a break up, they are probably telling the truth.
Psychologist Edward Smith from Columbia University in New York City recruited 40 volunteers who had gone through an unwanted break-up in the past six months. Then, while in an MRI machine, they were asked to look at photo of their ex-partners and think about how they were rejected.
The MRI scans showed that while participants were thinking about their romantic turmoil, areas in the brain associated with physical pain lit up.
Anthropologist Helen E. Fisher from Rutgers University and her team looked at areas in the brain associated with cocaine addiction, to see if they could help explain the obsessive behaviors associated with love.
They found that missing your significant other lights up the same parts of your brain as cocaine users who are waiting for their next line. In other words, love is addictive, and breaking up with someone is like going through withdrawal.
"These powerful withdrawal symptoms (from the loss of love) impact our ability to think, focus, and function in the broadest terms," Winch, the psychologist, wrote in his blog post.
"We would never expect an addict in the midst of withdrawal to be able to function in their job or personal life because we understand they are in a temporarily abnormal mental state. We need to think of heartbreak in the same terms and modify our expectations of ourselves and others accordingly."
Winch adds that intrusive thoughts about our exes can keep us stuck in the past. We are always told that time is a great healer, but sometimes it might feel like no length of time will be long enough to get over the heartache.
The problem is our brains keep conjuring up memories of our ex that can come out of nowhere. It might be a happy memory, a conversation, or thoughts of "what if?"
"Each time an intrusive thought appears it interrupts us, reopens our wound, reactivates our emotional pain and triggers our withdrawal symptoms," Winch said.
"Given that intrusive thoughts can occur dozens of times in a given hour, and given how significantly they can set us back, it is clear why so many of us struggle to get over heartbreak and recover in a timely manner."
Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk are engaged after three years of dating.
'Good Morning America' broke the news and shared a joint statement from the couple.
The announcement included a sneak peak at the newest issue of Goop magazine, which features the couple on the cover.
After months of speculation and adorable Instagram posts, Gwyneth Paltrow has finally confirmed that she is engaged to writer and producer Brad Falchuk after three years of dating.
A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on Oct 29, 2017 at 10:18am PDT on
"We feel incredibly lucky to have come together at this juncture in our lives when our collective successes and failures can serve as building blocks for a healthy and happy relationship," the couple said in a joint statement provided to "Good Morning America," which reported the news on Monday. INSIDER reached out to Paltrow's rep for comment, but has yet to hear back.
GMA also shared an exclusive look at the newest edition of Goop, Paltrow's quarterly print magazine and lifestyle brand, which hits stands on Tuesday. The cover features the "Iron Man" actress and her new fiancé embracing, accompanied by a black-and-white centerspread of the happy couple.
In addition to the photo shoot, the morning show revealed an exclusive clip from Goop, in which Falchuk talks about the couple's future together and what they'll be arguing about when they're 90 years old. According to the "Glee" co-creator, it'll be "where should we go have dinner."
Entertainment Tonight reported in November that the loved-up pair has already been engaged for over a year, but this marks the first public confirmation straight from the source.
Paltrow, who "consciously uncoupled" from Coldplay front man Chris Martin in 2014, has been open about integrating Falchuk into her life. After the couple went public with their romance in 2015, she has posted birthday shout outs and flaunted her "modern family" on Instagram.
A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on Nov 26, 2017 at 12:59pm PST on
Knowing Paltrow's impeccable aesthetic, we're sure the wedding will be one for the books (or at least for social media). Here's hoping for "Save the Date" announcements in the near future.
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No one can say with 100% certainty that a couple is heading for disaster.
But social scientists have gotten pretty good at predicting who's most likely to wind up there. These couples share certain commonalities — in the way they fight and the way they describe their relationship, but also in their education level and employment status.
Below, Business Insider has rounded up seven factors that predict divorce.
The best time to get married is when you feel ready, and when you've found someone you think you can spend a lifetime with. Don't force anything — or put it off — because a study told you to do so.
That said, research does suggest that couples who marry in their teens and couples who marry in their mid-30s or later are at greater risk for divorce than couples in their late 20s and early 30s. The risk is especially high for teenage couples.
That's according to research led by Nicholas Wolfinger, a professor at the University of Utah. After age 32, Wolfinger found, your odds of divorce increase by about 5% every year.
As Wolfinger wrote in a blog post for the conservative-leaning Institute for Family Studies, "For almost everyone, the late twenties seems to be the best time to tie the knot."
Other research, published in 2015 in the journal Economic Inquiry, found that the odds of divorce among heterosexual couples increase with the age gap between spouses.
"A one-year discrepancy in a couple's ages, the study found, makes them 3% more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference, however, makes them 18% more likely to split up. And a 10-year difference makes them 39% more likely."
Having a husband who doesn't work full-time
A 2016 Harvard study, published in the American Sociological Review, suggests that it's not a couple's finances that affect their chances of divorce, but rather the division of labor.
When the researcher, Alexandra Killewald, looked at heterosexual marriages that began after 1975, she learned that couples in which the husband didn't have a full-time job had a 3.3% chance of divorcing the following year, compared to 2.5% among couples in which the husband did have a full-time job.
Wives' employment status, however, didn't much affect the couple's chances of divorce.
The researcher concludes that the male breadwinner stereotype is still very much alive, and can affect marital stability.
Not finishing high school
It doesn't seem fair that couples who spend more time in school are less likely to get divorced. But that's what the research suggests.
A post on the Bureau of Labor Statistics website highlights a result from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (1979), which looked at the marriage and divorce patterns of a group of young baby boomers. The post reads:
"The chance of a marriage ending in divorce was lower for people with more education, with over half of marriages of those who did not complete high school having ended in divorce compared with approximately 30 percent of marriages of college graduates."
It may have to do with the fact that lower educational attainment predicts lower income — which in turn predicts a more stressful life. As psychologist Eli Finkel previously told Business Insider:
"What I think is going on is it's really difficult to have a productive, happy marriage when your life circumstances are so stressful and when your day-to-day life involves, say three or four bus routes in order to get to your job."
