Unless you're a genetic anomaly, it's likely you will meet people you don't like throughout your lifetime. Whether it's your mother-in-law or one of your colleagues, you're bound to come across someone you simply don't click with.

According to Deep Patel, author of the book A Paperboy's Fable: The 11 Principles of Success, it helps to remember nobody's perfect. That includes you.

In a blog post for Entrepreneur.com, Patel highlights some tips successful people use to deal with people they don't get along with. After all, it's unlikely you'll simply be able to avoid people you don't like — in fact, Patel argues if you restrict who you can work with, you are only limiting yourself.

Instead of burying your head in the sand, try and shift your perspective in the ways successful people do. Here are some tips from Patel and other sources such as Psychology Today.

1. Accept that you can't get on with everyone.

As much as we hope to like everyone we meet, it often simply isn't the case. Patel says the first step to dealing with the people you don't click with is accepting nobody gets on with everyone, and that's okay. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it doesn't mean they are either (not necessarily, anyway.)

According to psychologist Dr Susan Krauss in a blog post on Psychology Today, it's likely that you and the person just aren't a good fit. Consultant and author Beverly D. Flaxington explains in another blog post on Psychology Today that our behavioural styles can get come between people. Some are dominant, whereas others are timid. Some people are optimists and others consider themselves "realists."

A research paper by Hamstra et al looked at something called "regulatory fit," which translates as: we are much more likely to put effort into the things we like doing. Chances are you don't enjoy interacting with the people you don't like, and so you don't put much effort in. Over time, this lack of effort can turn into contempt.

2. Try and put a positive spin on what they are saying.

Krauss says you could try and look at how people are acting differently. Your in-laws might not have meant to imply that you aren't smart, and your co-worker may not actually be trying to sabotage you.

Even if the person you're having difficulty with is aggravating you on purpose, getting angry about it will probably just make you look bad. So try and give them the benefit of the doubt. 

3. Be aware of your own emotions.

Patel says it's important to remember your own emotions matter, but ultimately you alone have control over how you react to situations. People will only drive you crazy if you allow them to. So don't let your anger spin out of control.

If someone is rubbing you the wrong way, recognise those feelings and then let them go without engaging with the person. Sometimes just smiling and nodding will do the trick.

The key, Patel says, is in treating everyone you meet with the same level of respect. That doesn't mean you have to agree with a person you don't like or go along with what they say, but you should act civilised and be polite. In doing this, you can remain firm on your issues but not come across like you're attacking someone personally, which should give you the upper hand.

Being a leader means many things: big picture thinking, a strategic mindset, and the ability to make tough calls.

But all of leadership is easier if you know how to manage.

From department supervisors to the C-suite, we've all dealt with terrible bosses in our own careers, and we all want to believe we can do better when we're finally in charge.

But are you really as good of a boss as you think? You can be, if you avoid these five pitfalls.

1. 'Communicating' without leaving the ivory tower

Poor communication can come in many forms, but often reflects simply being out of touch with the needs of the people you count on. The biggest communications mistakes employees named are:

• Not recognizing employee achievements
• Not giving clear directions
• Not making time to meet with employees

Get out of your office and talk regularly with your direct reports. If your schedule is too packed with upper-level obligations, set a recurring time slot on your calendar dedicated to talking to your team. You need to know what your staff is doing and how they feel about it — and you need to recognize good work when you see it.

2. Favoring like minds

There are five words every ambitious upstart wants to hear from a boss: "You remind me of myself." In the right setting, those words can be the start of mentoring a valuable future leader — but they can also be the first step to organizational imbalance. This is because many bosses hire people who are "clones" of themselves, either in their personality or in the skills they possess. The result? Lopsided teams with glaring weaknesses.

Instead, hire (and encourage) a wide range of personalities:

• If you are an ideas person, seek out detail-oriented sticklers who know how to implement
• If you're a charismatic extrovert, balance yourself with someone quiet and thoughtful
• If your background is in one area of the company (sales, IT, marketing), make sure you hire based on position-relevant experience, not just similar backgrounds

3. Only trusting numbers and facts, not people

Part of leading well is making dispassionate decisions — going by the facts, even when the facts are painful. But numbers can also lead us awry. Even as organizations scramble to use big data for every decision, many fail to get insights from that same data. Meanwhile, employees carry around complex hunches and instincts, based in part on their experience getting company goals met. These instincts are valuable for several reasons:

• They're often correct
• They can shed light on areas not captured in research and data
• Employees' feelings give you the pulse of your team, and how well you have explained your goals and methods

When you ignore employees' feelings, even inadvertently, you leave them with the impression that you are the one flying blind — that you are completely oblivious to real problems they have raised. That doesn't mean your team is always right, but it does mean you have to truly hear them and, at a minimum, reconcile their experience with your big-picture strategy. This usually involves listening, not justifying.

4. Treating subordinates as friends

While ignoring employees' feelings causes one problem, becoming too close causes another. Perhaps the biggest mistake that newer bosses make is failing to maintain professional distance. Unfortunately, this quickly makes work life uncomfortable.

You will carry knowledge you cannot tell your "friends," for example, creating dissonance in every encounter. You'll also stir up feelings of favoritism, whether deserved or not, as some people are seen to be closer to you than others. Ultimately, the friendships will fail when you have to be the enforcer of unpleasant news (or high expectations).

Strive for a balance between friendly and professional:

• Don't join employees for lunch or happy hour unless there's an occasion to do so — and make sure you invite everyone.
• In the office setting, personal talk should be an opener that transitions to work talk.
• Don't confide private information to anyone that reports to you. Got to colleagues or mentors for this.

5. Pretending you don't make mistakes

When it comes to managers and business leaders, there's a bad case of impostor syndrome going around. It's normal to feel like you don't "deserve" to be in charge, or that someone will catch you not being good enough. But you have to check those feelings before you come into work.

When such feelings enter the boardroom — or a team meeting — they lead to insecure behavior, refusing to admit mistakes, and a pretense of perfection. This behavior is poison to a productive team.

Instead, a good boss will:

• Acknowledge the limits of what you know
• Ask questions, especially when someone disagrees with you
• Forgive your employees for errors, and patiently encourage growth

According the Harvard Business Review, the human brain is wired to experience empathy when someone else admits vulnerability. On the other hand, it's also wired to see through false pretenses and pull away from those who are inauthentic. Which kind of leader do you want to be?

SEE ALSO: 24 signs you're a good boss — even if it doesn't feel like it

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's why some Hong Kong skyscrapers have gaping holes

Louise Bourchier, a sex educator from Auckland, New Zealand, has been leading workshops and cultivating positive, informed communities around sex education for seven years.

INSIDER attended a workshop called "Pleasure Upgrade" about how to get what you want in bed at The Pleasure Chest, a sex shop on NYC's Upper East Side.

Here are three things you need to know to have better sex.

There's no such thing as "signature moves" that work for everyone.

Bourchier likened sex to a musical jam session — a process-driven pursuit that entails trying out different approaches, techniques, and styles, and feeling out what feels right. What's pleasurable to one person might be mediocre to another, and while there are certainly basic anatomical facts and helpful hints to consider, there's no magic maneuver that works for everyone every time.

It's important to talk about sex more.

It's much easier to express what you want when you have the words to talk about it. But what if even uttering the necessary words makes you blush and stumble over syllables? Bourchier encouraged developing a comfort level with the lingo so that when more sensitive conversations do come up, it's not the first time you've ever said the word "clitoris." Something as simple as saying the squirm-inducing words in front of the mirror, or talking about sex with friends, can help alleviate some of that hesitancy.  

Technique + communication = great sex.

Technique and communication are the key to great sex. 

It's important to have good techniques and an understanding of anatomy — like how to spot the clitoris — but communication is the second half of the equation. Bourchier emphasized that both elements — knowledge and how it's articulated — are important in building and sustaining a satisfying sex life.

SEE ALSO: How to know you're in a long-term relationship, according to psychology

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: People with these personality traits have more and better sex

California has its share of famous streets: Sunset Strip, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Boulevard. But for entrepreneurs, the most famous is Sand Hill Road.

Lining this stretch of asphalt outside Menlo Park are a who's who of elite venture capital firms. Nearly every top Silicon Valley company has started here.

So I was understandably a little intimidated back in 2009, on one of my first fundraising trips for Hootsuite.

Would investors give me the time of day? Would they share my enthusiasm for building a social media management platform? Would I even be able to get in the door?

But something unexpected happened — it was almost eerie. Time and time again, inside conference rooms, at coffee shops, or huddling in hotel lobbies, I heard the same four-word phrase from investors and entrepreneurs.

"How can I help?"

VCs like Geoff Entress from Voyager Capital asked me. Angel investor Dave McClure asked me. Kissmetrics CEO Hiten Shah asked me. These were powerful and extremely busy people. And yet here they were offering up their time and expertise, their connections and critical thinking power, to a new entrepreneur.

Fast-forward almost a decade and I heard that same four-word mantra last month while on another trip to the Bay Area. At Startup Grind Global Conference, the entrepreneurial all-stars onstage were using it. At Google, special projects lead Gia Scinto sat down with me and asked the very same question.

I had to stop and ask myself: What was so special about this four-word phrase? And why were so many incredibly successful people using it?

The power of "How can I help?"

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. If business is all about who you know, then this simple line — How can I help? — might be the ultimate networking tool. At its heart, it's a powerful way to fast-track relationships and build goodwill.

By offering to help, you cultivate instant rapport and establish an immediate sense of trust. Rather than waiting for people to prove themselves to you, you take the bull by the horns and prove yourself to them. A foundation is built — with striking speed and efficiency — for future interactions.

It struck me that all these wildly successful people had probably been offering a helping hand long before they were successful. In fact, it was likely their willingness to help — the connections built and doors opened as a result — that accounted in good measure for their success.

The key to cementing relationships isn't just offering help, of course. It's following through and actually providing it. I've seen this throughout my career. From our earliest meetings, for example, one of my investors has always made a point of asking me how he can help out, with advice, employee referrals, you name it. In fact, I owe half of my executive team to his Rolodex. John Ruffolo, incidentally, is one of the best-connected and most successful investors around, with an uncanny track record. I don't think that's a coincidence.

So how does it work?

What's the mysterious mechanism at work here? How, exactly, does helping others help you? Well, you could equate it to business karma. I truly believe that helping other people sets you up for cosmic success at some level, whether that's in business or in everyday life (in fact, the less distinction you make between the two, the better). What goes around almost inevitably comes around.

But if you prefer more hard-boiled business terminology, you could think of the help you offer as an investment. Like any investment, it might pay off in the short term, you may have to stick around for the long haul, or it might be a bust altogether. But I've found — more often than not — that you do see a healthy return from the help you extend, though usually in ways that are more complex, mysterious, and powerful than you might imagine.

Close to home, for example, I mentor more than a dozen entrepreneurs each year as part of an initiative called the Next Big Thing. Some of them need help bringing their product to market; others are looking to find partners and collaborators. I try to give my advice and time (at least the minutes I can spare) freely. I expect nothing from this other than the satisfaction of seeing young entrepreneurs find their path.

But over the years, these entrepreneurs have gone on to start companies in my backyard here in Canada. They've done their part — in big and small ways — to start building a new tech center in Vancouver. Each year, the critical mass of talent and investment in the region grows. Ultimately, we all benefit. The rising tide truly does lift all boats.

We tend to think of business as calculating and sometimes ruthlessly Darwinian. But the truth is that self-interest and a cold shoulder will only take you so far. Regardless of how busy things are or how cutthroat the competition is, I've found that real success often starts with four simple words: How can I help?

SEE ALSO: 8 traits the world's most successful people share

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Your neighbor's WiFi is ruining yours — here's how to fix it

Warning: There are spoilers ahead for "The Walking Dead."

We need to talk about Negan. If you've been watching season seven of "The Walking Dead," you may have noticed that in addition to having a penchant for smashing in brains and ironing faces, the foul-mouthed, bantering showman of the zombie apocalypse, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, has a messed up definition of rape.

On Sunday's episode, we see one of Negan's Saviors, David, approach Sasha while she's held captive. Sasha asks for a glass of water and David says he'd be glad to get her one if she'll do something for him in return. He tears her shirt slightly and is getting ready to have his way with her, but then Negan enters the scene and stops David.

Negan takes a quick look at Sasha and asks David if he was about to rape her. Negan's crystal clear on his rules with his subordinate, telling him they do not rape. It's against his rules. 

Though David apologizes, Negan kills him and then orders his men to get Sasha a new shirt. The moment seems to puzzle Sasha, who went to the Sanctuary to kill Negan for murdering her friends earlier in the season. But the entire scene, taken straight out of issue #117 of the comics, humanizes Negan a bit. He tells Sasha they're not monsters.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. Sorry about the rope, too," Negan said, before offering her a chance to eventually become a part of his team.

"I'm a man short. You can't really call this piece of sh-- a man, but still, I'm short," Negan said. "You can help me run this place one day. All of us together, following the rules, working on the same side of things. That's all this was ever about, and it still can be for you."

While Negan is strict when it comes to following his rules, and doubles down on his "no rape" policy at the Sanctuary, the scene is contradictory to what we've seen from Negan in the past. There's no question that Negan is against what he views as rape — both in the comics and on the television show — but the problem is he has his own warped definition of rape.

This is made even more troubling when the viewer is forced to consider that Negan doesn't realize (or want to realize) when he himself is raping women in the apocalypse.

Negan's wives

Earlier in the season, we were introduced to six of Negan's many wives, any of whom are available to him whenever he wants them. After Carl shows up at the Sanctuary in season seven, episode seven, Negan says aloud that he may not get a chance to screw one of his wives later that day. Shame.

Negan's polygamist situation strangely isn't one that's discussed throughout the show very much. Eugene briefly questions the fact that Negan has more than one wife when he shows up at his compound later in the season, but nothing more is said about the situation.

"Did you say wives meaning plural?" asked Eugene. 

"Hell yes I did," said Negan.

When I spoke recently with Austin Amelio, who plays one of Negan's right-hand men Dwight on "The Walking Dead," he said it's something his character isn't too fond of either.

"I don't think he's a fan of it [Negan's wives]," said Amelio. "He's not, to be honest. Probably a little bothersome."

We learn throughout the season that these women — some of whom are married when Negan decides he wants them — have made a kind of deal with Negan. In exchange for becoming one of his wives, Negan protects them and their families or former husbands. Negan provides his "wives" with shelter, food, medicine, and more. All he asks is that these women are now 100% loyal to him, regardless of whether or not they were married beforehand. If they were married, they can't be with their husbands anymore. 

That's exactly what happened with Dwight. Negan explains his arrangement with Dwight and Sherry to Daryl in season seven, episode three. Sherry's sister needed medication so Negan asked her to marry him. In return, he would take care of her. Negan views his actions as perfectly fine.

"I am a stand-up guy," Negan tells Daryl. But that all went south when Dwight and Sherry ran off with her sister who we saw killed in season six. Sherry and Dwight wound up back at Negan's compound and they struck another deal which resulted in Sherry becoming one of Negan's wives.  

"Dwight, he begged me not to kill Sherry, which I thought was kind of cute, so I was just gonna kill him, but then Sherry says that she will marry me if I let Dwight live, which, if you think about it, that's a pretty screwed up deal because I was gonna marry her sister until she wound up dead, but Sherry is super hot," said Negan.

Negan then said that wasn't enough so he ironed Dwight's face, but let him live. 

"Then I married his super hot wife, ex-wife. And then after all that, he still got on board and now look at him ... one of my top guys. And we are totally cool," said Negan. 

Why it's rape

Negan sees nothing wrong with the fact that he coerced Sherry into becoming his "wife" and sleeping with him after he had just chased her down, threatened to kill her husband Dwight, and still assaulted him with a hot iron. Sherry, rightly fearing for her life, acquiesces to Negan — a textbook definition of sexual coercion or, to put it more starkly, rape.

When one of Negan's other wives, Amber, cheats on him a few episodes later, he makes it clear that is not acceptable. In his mind, he's not forcing the women to be there, and anyone can go whenever they please. 

But if she does, he warns her that life may just be harder for her moving forward — and for her family.

"Amber, baby, you know I don't want anyone here that doesn't want to be here, right?" Negan asks.

"If you want to leave and go back to Mark, you can," he adds. "There's plenty other gals who would love to take your place and there's a few job openings that I can think of. You want to go back to Mark and your mom? Hell, I'll put you all on the same job." 

What Negan doesn't understand is that these women are being blackmailed into relationships with him. Either be one of his so-called wives — which is reality is much more akin to becoming a sex slave — or take your chances on your own in the zombie apocalypse with your family without the protection of the Sanctuary.

While most of the women on the show are clearly unhappy with Negan, viewers never see him get physically violent with them. He makes sure they're well dressed, fed, and taken care of. They regularly have doctor's visits — though it becomes more horrifying when you realize they're stopping by the doctor to make sure they're not pregnant.

Negan's wives in the television series are also watered down compared to how they're portrayed in the comics. In the show, the women are always wearing some sort of dresses and jewelry and — compared to everyone else in the zombie apocalypse — seem to live a life of luxury. But in the comics, the women live in some type of brothel where they're all dressed only in lingerie.

Negan's entire relationship with his wives is so jarring because he is adamant when he tells his Saviors that rape is not allowed. In Negan's world, sex only becomes rape when a woman doesn't verbally consent.

Negan believes his wives are his property

He also views the women as property that he can dole out to the men when they do a good job. In season seven, episode three, Negan offers Dwight a one-night opportunity to reunite with his former wife Sherry or any of Negan's other wives as an incentive for a job well done. His one stipulation: "Pick whoever you want, as long as she says yes." 

Dwight passes on the offer to rape one of Negan's wives.

Later, in season seven, episode 11, Negan also offers up his wives as a prize when he tells Eugene he'll send a few of them over to his apartment to show him a "good time" after Eugene helps him solve a security issue at the compound. 

"As a token of my gratitude, I'm gonna send you over a few of my wives to your apartment tonight to show you a good time," Negan tells him. "Now, I don't think I have to worry about this, but who knows how truly smart you are. No sex. That is a grave no-no. However, you can have a little dinner, drinks, share a few laughs. There is nothing like beautiful women that smell good to make you feel human ago."

These women are constantly raped, reduced to sexual objects, treated like property, and have the threat of violence and death looming over their heads. Yet as far as the audience knows, Negan doesn't believe he's mistreating his wives because they have all given verbal consent to be with him. Like he tells Amber, he isn't forcing any of them to stay or have sex with him. They can go anytime they like.

While he may mean that, it's unfathomable to viewers that Negan believes any of the women truly want to be there. He's ripped many of them away from their own husbands by violence. He made them feel like they had no choice but to surrender to him in order to survive. The alternative is fending for themselves in a post-apocalyptic world. 

And Negan should know they're not happy with him just based solely on their actions. None of the women look happy to be with him, they long to go back to their former families, and Sherry, Dwight's ex-wife, escapes the compound because she knows that submitting to Negan was no way to live. 

While I can appreciate moments when Negan goes toe-to-toe with anyone who wants to sexually assault women or anyone else in the zombie apocalypse, it rings hollow when you realize he's guilty of the same thing, many times over.

No matter how much the comic and television series attempt to humanize Negan, fans should never forget his hypocrisy or normalize his crimes.

SEE ALSO: Everything you need to know about the 'Twin Peaks' revival

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's how "The Walking Dead" cast looks in the TV show vs the comics

After getting married, couples tend to take a vacation. Honeymoons are a way for couples to focus on spending time with each other, leaving the rest of the world behind.

But why on Earth is it called a "honeymoon"? What exactly does it have to do with honey and moons? And when did this whole tradition start, anyway?

The best place to look is the Oxford English Dictionary, which tracks how words have been used over the centuries. The history of the word "honeymoon," it turns out, is at the end of an etymological rabbit hole.

At first, it didn't even necessarily refer to a vacation.

The origin of the word is shrouded in a mysterious literary hoax.

The first use of the phrase wasn't exactly connected to the word's current usage. It appears in a volume titled (get ready for this): "A dialogue conteinyng the nomber in effect of all the prouerbes in the englishe tongue compacte in a matter concernyng two maner of mariages, made and set foorth," published in 1546 and written by the playwright and poet John Heywood, according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

It's in a poem where the speaker talks about love and art, where Heywood uses the phrase "it was yet but hony moone" to signal a feeling of merryment.

The next usage of "honeymoon," in 1592, is more precisely attuned to how we use the word "honeymoon" today. But it appeared in a very strange document that may have been a literary hoax.

Robert Greene, another British dramatist, is most famous for the publication attributed to him right after he died, in 1592. Ostensibly, his last work was "Greenes, Groats-worth of Witte, bought with a million of Repentance," a semiautobiographical tract about the importance of living a moral life. It was a sensation in the London world of letters at the time, partly for including a thinly veiled attack on the works of William Shakespeare. (That you've heard of Shakespeare but probably haven't heard of Greene is enough to settle the dispute.)

But there's a cloud of uncertainty around the book. It's not clear if Greene wrote the whole thing himself, or if it's partly the work of his fellow writer Henry Chettle. To make matters even more confusing, a slew of other semiautobiograohical tracts of Robert Greene's life and death appeared, all claiming to be written by Greene himself.

One of these works, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is the source of the contemporary use of "honeymoon." It's in a version of Greene's death story titled "Greene's Vision: Written at the instant of his death. Conteyning a penitent passion for the folly of his Pen."

In the narrative, the word appears after two people get married. "To be bréefe, they were marryed: well that daye was past with dauncing and Honney moone it was for a mo­neth after." In other words, two people got married and then spent time with each other for a month.

The usage explains what the word actually means. "Honey," because it's a sweet period of time. And "moon" because it takes a month for the moon to wane and wax anew. It also alludes to love waning steadily, as the moon does, according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

The subsequent uses of the word "honeymoon" all basically translate to "a happy period of time following a marriage."

By the end of the 1500s, the word also referred to a similar experience in a political context, meaning a short-lived period of goodwill that exists before a relationship turns bad. Take, for example, a series of lectures about British statesmen by Goldwin Smith from 1867, where he refers to"the brief honeymoon of the new king and his parliament," a moment before Parlimentarian John Pym hadn't yet decided that Charles I should be arrested.

It wasn't for another 200 years that the honeymoon became a vacation.

The word started referring to a deliberate vacation only in 1791.

That usage first appears in a collection of German folk stories by Johann Karl August Musäus, translated by Thomas Beddoes, according to the Oxford English dictionary.

"The new-married couple spent their honey-moon in Augspurg, in mutual happiness and innocent enjoyments, like the first human pair in the garden of Eden," the sentence goes.

The first native-English usage appeared in 1804, according to the dictionary, in another story collection, this one published in London and written by Maria Edgeworth.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ludgate went down in the hoy to Margate, to spend their honey-moon in style," she writes.

From then on, the usage of the word meant what it means today. By 1821, it acquired a verb form — "honeymooning"— and the noun even managed to grab a few other words that were commonly used alongside it, forming common phrases like "honeymoon couple,""honeymoon period," and "honeymoon suite."

"Honeymoon," like many words in the English language, has a surprising heritage. This one took 200 years to mean exactly what it does today.

SEE ALSO: 13 wonderful Old English words we should still be using today

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Hackers and governments can see you through your phone’s camera — here’s how to protect yourself

The INSIDER Summary: 

• The rhyme "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" dates back to at least 19th century Lancastershire.
• It refers to five things a bride should wear on her wedding day.
• They're meant to provide protection for her baby and prosperity for the couple.

The rhyme "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" refers to the things a bride is supposed to wear on her wedding day to have a successful marriage. And like most superstitions, it doesn't entirely make sense.

There are, of course, many psychology-backedand scientifically grounded ways to have a better marriage. But wearing those five items is a tradition that many people like to keep.

This particular phrase and tradition likely comes from Lancastershire, England. The oldest written reference to it is in an 1871 issue of St. James Magazine, where the author complains about the tradition.

A more thorough explanation was later encoded by Charlotte Sophia Burne, the first female president of London's Folklore Society, in her 1883 publication "Shropshire Folklore: A Sheaf of Gleanings." The full rhyme, it turns out, has an additional line:

Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue,
and a silver sixpence in her shoe.

What do each of those things symbolize? Let's break it down.

"Something old" is to provide protection for the bride's eventual baby.

"Something borrowed" refers to something that another happy bride has already worn. It's meant to transfer their luck onto the new bride's relationship. Some sources also say that the garment is meant to ward off the evil eye from spurned suitors, which would presumably leave the woman barren. For that reason, it was recommended to use "the undergarment of some woman who has been blessed with children" because the clothes "communicate fertility to the bride." 

The "something blue" is another "device to baffle the evil eye." It's recommended that one wears blue garters under a white wedding dress, according to Burne.

And "a sixpence in her shoe," of course, is a symbol for prosperity for the new couple.

There's no source or meaning behind "something new." It might just be there to make the rhyme work.

Taken together, a bride who wears those six things has the ingredients for a successful marriage in the years that follow.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's the surprising reason highways have those concrete walls alongside them

Learning to network well is a useful skill for any job.

Put simply, it opens doors, allowing you to share information and make connections with people that could help you get ahead in your career.

It also provides an opportunity to get to know people you wouldn't necessarily meet in your day-to-day life.

As useful as networking is, it can also be pretty intimidating. It takes courage to walk up to complete strangers and start talking to them, so it's no surprise that many people don't get the most out of their networking opportunities.

Psychologist Dr Ronald Riggio, a professor of leadership and organisational psychology at Claremont McKenna College, California, says effective networking is critical for career success.

He spoke to Business Insider about how to make the most of networking events, highlighting the things people do which make networking a less valuable experience. Here are four common mistakes people make, and how you can rectify them.

1. Not actually listening.

A big mistake people make, Riggio says, is not taking the time to listen to the people they meet. Often you may find colleagues are waiting for their chance to speak, rather than really listening, so try not to be one of those people.

Instead of focusing on what you want to say, ask questions and show you're interested in getting to know the people you meet. You'll probably find it's a much more rewarding experience, and they might remember you better if you take a real interest.

2. Seeing it as a 'chore.'

Riggio says people sometimes see networking events as an unavoidable "chore" rather than a good opportunity. Seeing it as a necessary evil means you're probably setting yourself up to fail.

To get over this idea, Riggio says you should try and use networking to find out interesting things about others. Don't think about the event as full of colleagues who you'll have nothing in common with. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn interesting things about new people.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, psychologist Dr Ben Dattner said only networking when you "have to" means you're more likely to feel anxious and stress yourself out. Rather than focusing what you need to get out of the event, try to think of what you can offer others from the experience.

3. Too much self-promotion.

Don't dominate the conversation, and don't make it all about your own achievements, Riggio warns. Rather than setting off on a rant about everything you've achieved, simply introduce yourself and tell your new contact something interesting about yourself that can be a conversation starter.

For example, you could say: "I’m a real estate agent and you might be surprised about some of the things that buyers are looking for in a house."

Dattner says a common mistake is keeping the people you meet updated about your accomplishments, when a better thing to do is to actually keep track of theirs. People are generally more interested in starting up a conversation with someone who takes a genuine interest in them.

Stress affects all of us sometimes. Work, relationships, and money problems are some of the most common triggers.

When you have a lot going on at work, it can get even harder to focus. This can result in a build up of more work you haven't been able to concentrate on, thus causing a vicious cycle of a more stress.

CEOs and founders of big companies have all gone through stressful moments like everyone else, and they all have different ways of dealing with the tough times.

Here are how some of the most successful people in the world have learned to unwind after years of managing the stress that comes with running a global business.

1. Bill Gates

Microsoft cofounder Bill Gates likes to read before bed. He told The Seattle Times he reads for at least an hour, no matter how late it is.

Gates has also taken a lot of advice from Warren Buffett over the years. In an interview with Fortune magazine, Gates said something he learned from Buffett was to keep things simple.

"His ability to boil things down, to just work on the things that really count, to think through the basics — it's so amazing that he can do that. It's a special form of genius."

In other words, strip away all the fuss and it's easier to focus on the task at hand.

2. Tim Cook

After receiving an honorary degree from The University of Glasgow, Apple CEO Tim Cook advised students to stay positive and tune out a lot of the noise you'll come up against in life. Listening to everyone all the time is incredibly stressful.

"In today's environment, the world is full of cynics and you have to tune them out," he said. "Because if not, they become a cancer in your mind, in your thinking, and you begin thinking that you can't or that life is negative."

3. Meg Whitman

Meg Whitman has had an amazing career at several massive companies, including P&G, eBay, and now Hewlett-Packard. In an interview with Fast Company, Whitman mentioned her love of fly-fishing. She and her son go about six times every year.

According to research from the University of California's Merced campus, engaging in leisure activities can provide immediate stress relief, and can also have other health benefits. Research from the National Library of Medicine also showed regular leisure activity can manage negative feelings such as stress.

The INSIDER Summary: 

• Grooms carry brides across the threshold of a room after their wedding ceremony.
• The tradition dates back to"The Rape of Sabine Women" in Roman mythology.
• The contemporary meaning symbolizes how the bride doesn't want to seem too eager to leave her parents.

Carrying a bride across a threshold into a room after the wedding ceremony is a traditionthat's going out of style, but it's been seen in dozens of romantic comedies and dates back thousands of years.

It also has a horrifying history behind it.

The tradition, according to the academic encyclopedia "Marriage Customs of the World," dates back to the The Rape of the Sabine Women, an event in Roman mythology where Roman soldiers abducted and raped the women in the surrounding regions. The women were carried off against their will.

Bizarrely, the event turned into a common Roman wedding practice. The bride, according to the encyclopedia, would run off to her mother while the bridegroom and his friends would intercept her and pull her away. And a group of people, not just the groom, would carry the bride into the house.

The most direct interpretation of the tradition is that it's a benign recollection of "marriage by capture." But the encyclopedia also offers a more charitable interpretation: that the wife wants to make a show about how she isn't eager to leave her parents' home and start a family of her own.

At some point, the threshold itself acquired its own meaning. In Britain, at least, it was feared that the threshold might contain "sorcerous drugs" or other malevolent powers that could destroy a marriage or the wife's child-bearing ability. For that reason, the groom tried to make sure that the bride didn't touch the ground.

The renowned poet Ben Johnson immortalized this interpretation in his 1606 work "The Masque of Hymen," where the speaker asks the bride to "lift your golden feet/Above the threshold high,/With prosperous augury."

Doorjambs and thresholds also have significance in a few non-Western marriage traditions. In Zorastrianism — an ancient religion that dates to pre-Islamic Iran — the doorjambs are smeared in turmeric after a wedding. The groom has to pass through without touching the threshold, and his new mother-in-law marks his forehead with red pigment and throws rice at him, according to the encyclopedia.

Today, people don't necessarily believe that the act of carrying the bride across the threshold has any significant meaning. For most, it's just a fun thing to do.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: I switched from Mac to Windows and I'm never going back — here's why

The INSIDER Summary:

• Great sex isn't all about technique — communication is crucial.
• Shedding shame can help you overcome self-consciousness.
• Empathy is a sexual communication superpower.

Sex and relationship experts will be the first to acknowledge that "signature moves" that guarantee mind-blowing pleasure for everyone every time just don't exist.

While technique is certainly a factor in positive sexual encounters, they work to convey a more holistic approach to sexuality founded on self-love and effective communication between partners.

We asked three experts to share one sure-fire way that people can improve their sex lives — here are their insights.

Forget about looking good.

"When we’re tuned into pleasure, both our own and our partner’s, we are better equipped to be amazing lovers," said Virgie Tovar, editor of the anthology "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion" and the creator of Babecamp, an online course to help people ditch diet culture. "When we’re listening to our partner’s body and our own body, rather than focusing on technique or aesthetic, we learn what we want and desire much more easily."

Shed your shame.

"Do whatever you have to do make your partner and yourself feel no shame," said Tovar. "For me, that's my partner talking openly and frequently about how much they desire every part of me, them offering me reassurances that I am very sexy, and touching all the parts of me, especially the ones I’ve been taught to feel self-conscious about."

Tell your partner what you like.

"Great sex is all about good communication," said Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex" and Director of Education at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education. "Don’t hesitate to tell your partner when they’re doing something you really like."

And what you don't.

"By the same token, if your partner is doing something you don’t care for, let them know in a kind way and give them a compliment at the same time, like “I’m not so into this, but I love it when you do that," said Chase.

Practice empathy.

"The ultimate sexual communication superpower is empathy," said Kate McCombs, founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for people who love having conversations about sexuality. "Besides the fact that empathy is just a cornerstone of being kind to one another and should be something that is more encouraged and better practiced."

SEE ALSO: Psychologists say one behavior is the 'kiss of death' for a relationship

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Scientific studies show that people who are altruistic have more sex

Everyone's an expert on relationships.

Your coworker, who overhears you fighting with your partner on the phone; your great aunt, who found out from your grandma that you and your girlfriend just moved in together.

Except most people are not, in fact, experts on relationships. The things they insist are terrible for you and your partner — like, say, fighting and cohabiting — are often not so bad.

Below, Business Insider has rounded up a list of myths about romantic relationships. Drawing on scientific research and expert opinion, we explain why they're not always true — and what you should know instead.

1. Fighting with your partner

The No. 1 thing successful couples have in common is their ability to repair their relationship after a fight. That's according to John Gottman, a psychologist and cofounder of the Gottman Institute.

Note that Gottman didn't say successful couples never fight. Instead, he told Business Insider that conflict is an inevitable part of any romantic relationship — but Americans in particular have a hard time accepting that.

Instead of fearing conflict with your partner, think about how you could approach it differently to make it less catastrophic.

Gottman told Business Insider: "In really good relationships, people are very gentle with the way they come on about a conflict," Gottman says. "They don't bare their fangs and leap in there; they're very considered."

For example, he said, "Instead of pointing their finger and saying, 'You a--hole!,' they say, 'Hey babe, it's not a big deal, but I need to talk about it and I need to hear from you.' In bad relationships, it's, 'You're defective, and you need therapy.'" 

2. Marrying someone who's as ambitious as you are

There's no question that a relationship in which both partners have lofty career aspirations will be hard. But it won't, despite common misconceptions, be impossible.

According to Joann Lublin, management news editor at the Wall Street Journal and author of "Earning It," the key is talking about your individual professional ambitions before you get married or get serious, and hashing out a tentative plan for accommodating both parties.

Before Lublin married her husband, they signed a "marriage contract." In the book, Lublin explains that the couple hired a lawyer to draw up a contract in which they agreed that they would alternate who took the lead in any relocation for a job. (They were both planning for careers as journalists.)

Lublin told Business Insider that a marriage contract isn't necessary for a successful marriage — and it's not the cure-all for marital discord. But communicating about your professional priorities is key.

3. Occasionally wanting out of the relationship

In her 2015 book, "The Real Thing," former Washington Post weddings reporter Ellen McCarthy summarized the findings of a researcher who interviewed hundreds of married women: "The collective wisdom seems to be: 'Sometimes you will be miserable. This is the reality of long-term intimacy. Carry on.'"

In other words, if you expect to be really happy all the time when you get married, you're setting yourself up for disaster.

McCarthy also explained the similar perspective of a marriage educator: 

"[Diane Sollee] wants couples who are getting ready to walk down the aisle to know — really know— that it will be hard. That there will be times when one or both of them want out and can barely stand the sight of each other. That they'll be bored, then frustrated, angry, and perhaps resentful." 

She added: "Diane also wants them to know that all of these things are normal."

However, if you're unhappy all the time, you might want to consider whether the relationship is healthy, and/or seek the help of a professional. It's really about learning to take stock of the relationship as a whole.

4. Keeping your finances separate from your partner's

Your friends and family might raise their eyebrows when you tell them you're keeping separate bank accounts — but it doesn't necessarily portend relationship disaster.

Thomas J. O'Connell, president of International Financial Advisory Group, Inc., told Business Insider that there are a number of logistical reasons why couples might choose not to merge their finances.

For example, maybe you're blending families, and one or both partners are bringing children from a previous relationship. Sometimes parents who have gotten divorced are legally required to set aside money for child support or a college fund, so they can't share that money with their new spouse.

Other reasons for keeping separate finances are more emotional. For example, Michael McNulty, a certified Gottman relationship therapist, said if someone came from a family in which money caused major problems, they might be more fearful about letting someone else share control of their finances.

Regardless of whether you choose to combine finances or keep them separate — and this is key — McNulty said it's crucial to have an ongoing dialogue about it.

5. Sharing a home with your partner before getting married

Some research suggests that couples who live together before marriage — i.e. couples who cohabit — are at greater risk for divorce and marital distress.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed if you move in with your boyfriend today.

One theory put forth by researchers at the University of Denver is that many couples who live together wind up getting married out of inertia, and not because they genuinely want to. Finding a new apartment or making a shared-custody plan for a pet might seem harder than getting hitched.

On the other hand, if couples are committed to a future together before they move in, there's a smaller chance that they'll find themselves in an unhappy marriage.

6. Not having sex all the time

Focus on quality over quantity. At least, that's the advice from George Loewenstein, a professor of economics and psychology at Carnegie Mellon.

As Business Insider's Jessica Orwig reported, in 2015, Loewenstein and his colleagues published the results of an experiment in which they told some married, heterosexual couples to have sex twice as often.

As it turns out, couples who doubled the frequency of sex were in fact less happy than couples who weren't given any such instructions.

The researchers surmise that's because being told to have sex more often took away the fun of it — it became a chore. So don't try to have sex more often just for the sake of having sex more often; instead, try to make your sex life enjoyable.

7. Marrying someone who doesn't meet every single one of your personal needs

Northwestern University social psychologist Eli Finkel and colleagues have documented a curious historical trend related to marriage.

As Orwig reported, whereas we once expected our spouses to keep us safe, provide for us, or be our companion, we now expect our spouses to fulfill deeper needs, like self-esteem, self-expansion, and personal growth. And we're often disappointed.

One potential solution is to seek additional fulfillment outside the relationship — from friends, work, or hobbies, for example. While it would be great if our spouse made us feel like the best version of ourselves all the time, it might be more realistic to rely on other outlets to make us feel that way, too.

SEE ALSO: 10 myths about dating too many people believe

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A psychologist explains how to tell if you're ready for a committed relationship

Proposing can be a nerve-racking experience. You lay out all your sentiments and feelings, get down on one knee, and ask the biggest question you might ever ask in your entire life. And you can still get rejected.

To better your odds of getting a 'yes,' avoid any of these overdone proposals and opt for something more unique. While these may have been the start of many amazing marriages in the past, they've long since become something of a bad cliché.

Here are 13 proposal ideas that should be avoided:

1. Asking at a sports arena.

Unless your partner is a die-hard (and I mean DIE-HARD) fan of the team whose stadium you're in, this proposal deserves a hard no.

First of all, if your partner doesn't say yes you will give the entire stadium second-hand embarrassment and it will end up on YouTube. Secondly if they do say yes, do you really want everyone (including your new fiancé) to return their attention to the game seconds after you've just had one of the biggest moments of your life?

2. Using a flash mob.

Flash mobs had their 15 minutes of fame and yes, it was great, but the moment has passed. Unless you somehow turn the flash mob into something no one has seen before, then ditch this idea and do literally anything else. 

3. Popping the question on Valentine's Day.

First things first, if you do this at a restaurant, it will show up every other happy couple in the room and you don't want to be the reason couples start fighting on Valentine's Day, do you?

Valentine's Day already gives you a reason to celebrate. If you ask on a random day rather than February 14, you'll get to add another celebration to your calendar. That makes popping bottles appropriate on one extra day every year. 

INSIDER wants to know what it's like to date in every state. Are people in Illinois looking for something serious? Is everyone in California on a certain dating app? What do people in Oklahoma usually do for first dates?

These burning questions need answers and there's no better person to answer them than someone who lives there. 

If you're single or in a new relationship, and have been actively dating in the past year, then we want to hear from you! Tell us all your thoughts and opinions in the survey below for a chance to be featured in an INSIDER article.

If you have more to say, email Amy Daire at adaire@businessinsider.com with more details, stories, and thoughts. 

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's what those white marks on your nails say about your health

The INSIDER Summary:

• Own the fact that you're an introvert. It's nothing to be ashamed of!
• Focus on the potential connection, not the possibility of rejection.
• Dating is a skill to develop — no one is born good at it.

In some ways, introverts are perfectly-suited to the dating world because they tend to prefer meaningful one-on-one conversations to small talk, which drains their energy.

The problem is that dates often do consist of blithering small talk with no escape route — an introvert's worst nightmare. Introverts also tend to be more at ease around people they already know, so inviting someone new into their orbit can be a little scary.

We asked three sex and relationship experts for their best dating tips with introverts in mind, but their advice can help make dating easier and more fun for any personality type.

Choose familiar date spots where you know you'll feel comfortable.

When you walk into a date unsure of how it's going to play out, a familiar setting can help alleviate a little bit of that anxiety around the unknown.

"When meeting the prospective date, I always go for a drink or coffee at a place that I like so I feel comfortable," said Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex" and Director of Education at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education.

Embrace your introversion.

Being introverted is nothing to be ashamed of — it's just the way you interact with the world. Telling potential partners that you're introverted can help them get a sense of your personality right off the bat.

"I always just own the fact that I’m an introvert and say it in my [dating] profile," said Chase.

Employ active listening.

Introverts enjoy listening, but can come off as quiet or shy as a result. Active listening turns that passive activity into one that helps forge a more meaningful connection.

"When you are empathically engaging with someone, if you can take that to the next level by active listening, that's just an absolute communicative superpower," said Kate McCombs, founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for people who love having conversations about sexuality, and the creator of Tea and Empathy workshops. "When you can engage with people on that level, it will upgrade your relationships tenfold."

Don't fear rejection — fear missing out on a great connection.

It's understandable to be afraid of putting yourself out there and getting burned. But what about the opportunities you might miss as a result of not trying at all? Try to turn that fear of rejection into FOMO.

"Often we are afraid of rejection, when we should be more afraid of losing out on meeting a new person and learning about another life," said Virgie Tovar, editor of the anthology "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion."

Remember that dating takes practice.

"Dating is a skill," said Tovar. "We are not born knowing how to date. We have to develop the skillset."

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A Harvard psychologist reveals the secret to a happy relationship

The INSIDER Summary:

• People focus too much on marketing themselves instead of thinking about how their date makes them feel.
• Ignoring red flags or making excuses for someone's behavior are never good ideas.
• Chemistry is not a guarantee of compatibility.

Dating isn't always easy. With so many mixed messages about dating rules and personality types and even horoscopes, it's hard to know who and what to believe.

In Breakthrough Dating's workshops and coaching sessions, founder Shira Teichman doesn't teach people how to win their date over or flirt irresistibly. She focuses on helping people feel empowered in their dating lives, and find clarity in a world that often causes people to doubt their own worth.

Teichman spoke to INSIDER about the most common pitfalls she sees her clients encounter, and how she gets them to a place of strength and self-awareness.

Focusing on how you're "performing"

A lot of dating advice focuses on how to market yourself to a potential partner.

"After getting this message drilled into our heads for long enough, we start to buy into this false belief that just being ourselves isn’t good enough," Teichman said.

Instead of asking yourself how your date feels about you, stay present and consider how that person makes you feel about yourself.

"The more present you are on the date, the more you’ll be able to naturally tune into the subtle and not-so-subtle clues that indicate whether or not the person you’re dating will make a healthy or unhealthy partner," she said. 

Misplacing priorities

People tend to place too much emphasis on qualities that are pretty much guaranteed to change over time, like appearance and income. Those things are important, but not the core of what makes a strong, lasting relationship.

"When it comes to compatibility, most people think personality is the most important thing to look out for, but that actually isn’t true," she said. "It’s shared goals and values that make the relationship last."

Ignoring red flags

Your gut is telling you something for a reason. Don't ignore signs that your date might be controlling, jealous, or angry.

"My rule of thumb is if you don’t feel seen and heard in your relationship, it’s a problem," she said. "If it doesn’t feel like there’s a balance of power in the relationship — like, one person is making all of the decisions and your needs and preferences are not part of the picture — that is also a recipe for disaster."

Making excuses for someone's behavior 

If you express your needs to a potential partner and they read it as an attack on them for falling short, that's not you being critical — that's their own insecurities talking. If they make a real effort to change, it shows they value your happiness. 

"Before committing to someone, be sure to make your needs known and then observe how your partner responds to your feedback," she said. "Healthy individuals, if made aware of how their behavior is hurting or upsetting you (as long as it’s done in a non-critical way), will respond positively, and you will notice their efforts to change their behavior.  If they want the relationship to last, healthy partners will want to make you happy — and vice-versa."

Thinking chemistry equals compatibility

Just because the sparks are flying doesn't mean that you're soul mates — or even remotely good for each other. Chemistry can be misleading at best, and a smokescreen for deeper issues at worst.

"Many personality disorders — like narcissism, for example — can be difficult to detect because they’re frequently packaged in the sparkly, attractive exterior of charm and charisma," she said.

Devaluing friendship

Who says friendship has to make relationships awkward?

Teichman recommends reading works by Dr. John Gottman, an author and psychologist who has conducted 40 years of research about marital stability and relationship analysis. He writes that long-term vitality is maintained through moments of friendship in a relationship. The same way you and your friends have fun together and are genuinely interested in each other's lives, you and your partner should, too.

Feeling like a spectator

Ultimately, Teichman wants to help people break through whatever is holding them back from a fulfilling relationship.

"To date successfully, you can’t just go through the motions of dating without being present in mind, body and spirit," she said. "It’s dating in the moment, with a keen awareness of what’s going on emotionally between you and your date, that leads to the clarity we all want."

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's why you're going to marry the wrong person — and why that's okay

The INSIDER Summary:

• Meghan Markle is an American actress and activist who's dating Prince Harry.
• If they get married, Markle will likely get a royal title.
• Royals experts say she'll probably be known as the Duchess of Sussex.

Meghan Markle is an accomplished woman in her own right. She's the star of TV drama "Suits,"a thoughtful writer, an activist who's worked with the UN, and the creator of an affordable fashion line. 

She's also dating Prince Harry of the British Royal family — a fact that's sent the media into a full-on frenzy.

Early tabloid articles about the couple were often invasive and sometimes flat-out racist (one said Markle had "exotic DNA"). Eventually Prince Harry was compelled to release a statement that simultaneously confirmed their relationship and condemned the way the media was covering it. 

Things have calmed down a bit since then, though paparazzi cameras did capture the couple attending a wedding together in Jamaica. 

Now royals fans are wondering whether or not Markle and Prince Harry will get married. And — if they do — what kind of royal title would Markle receive? Here's what we know so far. 

She would become a princess by marriage. 

Harry's title is currently "His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales." Royal family expert Imogen Lloyd Webber recently told People that Markle would "definitely" be called "Her Royal Highness Princess Henry of Wales."

She wouldn't be "Princess Megan" for the same reason that Kate Middleton is not "Princess Kate." Neither of them was born royal — but became (or could become) royal by marriage. (Here are 18 commoners who married into royalty.)

She'd probably become a duchess, too. 

It's tradition for men of the royal family to get a new title, bestowed by the queen, when they marry. Take William: For most of his life, he was just "His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales." But upon his marriage to Kate Middleton in 2011, he became the Duke of Cambridge, and Kate became the Duchess of Cambridge. 

Webber suspects that Prince Harry will become the Duke of Sussex upon his eventual marriage, and royal historian Marlene Koenig agrees. That would make Markle the Duchess of Sussex.

The titles Duke and Duchess of Clarence and Buckingham are also "available" — meaning the people who last held them have died and the titles are free to be bestowed by the Queen. The Dukedom of Sussex, for example, has been available since 1843. 

It seems like most royals experts and bloggers are putting their money on Sussex, but sadly, there's no way to know for sure unless a marriage really happens. 

What do these titles mean, anyway?

Titles like "Duke" are part of the Peerage. Essentially, it's a ranked system for British nobility. 

Way back in the day, the monarch bestowed these titles on "peers of the realm"— people who swore loyalty to the crown in exchange for land or money, according to the Peerage experts at Debrett's London. The five possible titles, ranked from highest to lowest: duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron.

In addition to being bestowed, the titles could also be inherited, but only by male heirs. 

All the people who had these titles formed the Peerage, and for a long time, the Peerage also had the right to sit in the British Parliament. Seems just slightly unfair — and that's probably why the British government voted to rescind that right back in 1999, with the House of Lords Act.

Today, these ranked titles still exist, and just as before, they can only be bestowed by the monarch or inherited by a son.

While lots of Peerage titles are held by royals, but you don't have to be royal to have one. And even though the members of Peerage lack the political power they once had, Debrett's guide says that "their social influence remains undimmed, and their lives remain a source of interest and speculation." We can't argue with that. 

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Prince Harry just danced on stage and sang along with Coldplay

According to experts, about 5% of people are narcissists. This means there's a fairly good chance you could work with one, or you have in the past.

Narcissism is a trait seen in sociopaths. Not all narcissists are sociopaths, but most, if not all sociopaths are narcissists.

If someone at work has an inflated ego, is very charming, knows how to manipulate people to get what they want, or is making you feel used, they're probably a sociopath, or at least narcissistic.

Business Insider spoke to psychologist and therapist Dr. Perpetua Neo about how you can tell if you're dealing with a sociopath or narcissist at work, and what to do about it.

Of course you can't make them disappear, but Neo has some tips on how to better handle a situation with a difficult coworker, and offers advice on how to deter them.

1. Trust your instincts.

Narcissists are very charming.

Generally, there are two types of narcissists — overt and covert. The overt ones are very outwardly charismatic and suck people in with their compliments and wit. The covert ones are less obvious, but they charm you in their own way, according to Neo.

In the workplace, you might feel like someone is wrapping you around their little finger. In these cases, she says you should listen to your gut. With a lot of her clients, she says that when they first met the narcissist in their lives, they didn't like them at all. This gut feeling shouldn't be ignored.

"We think in our gut, there's all these red flags, or alarm bells ringing, but we rationalise it away with our brains," Neo told Business Insider. "So in a workplace if you're finding your gut is firing away, but your brain is saying 'This person is my boss,' or 'This person has a sad story,' then it's time to pause and honour your heart and your gut and let it talk to your brain."

2. Have firm boundaries.

If you feel you're being used by someone at work — they're stealing your ideas, they pull rank, and end up calling you crazy and sensitive — chances are they're a narcissist. The most important thing you can do, Neo says, is have firm boundaries and learn to say "no."

"Often it's not that we can't say no, it's a case of we don't know how to say no," she said. "For instance, if this narcissist is always asking you to do their work for them, you [should] say 'No, this is not part of my job — it's yours.'"

When you keep saying no, Neo says the narcissist will leave you alone and focus on someone else. Of course you can warn other people of their intentions, but she says it's important to remember to look after yourself first.

You might find this is enough, but if not, you might have to take things further, depending on the situation. However, you should be vigilant about who you go to when dealing with a workplace bully because there's no way of knowing how many people the narcissist has manipulated.

3. Don’t hold them accountable.

Just like if you're dating a narcissist, you shouldn't try and hold them accountable for their actions. Trying to get them to own up to what they've done or apologise just keeps you hooked and sucks you back into their games.

Neo says if you keep going back it's because you're addicted to trying to hold them accountable, and you settle for the piecemeal changes they make — changes they ultimately revert back from.

"One of the things that keeps us there is the feeling this person has a natural sense of good," Neo said. "And when we think that, we hold them accountable all the time, and that's what keeps us stuck there."

Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends.

Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom?

Sometimes it's obvious: a so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift, your back-up dancers. Now we've got bad blood, indeed.

But sometimes it's not obvious: do you tough it out with a friend struggling with addiction? Can you stay friends with someone whose values undergo a radical change? Do you leave behind a boring friend or remind yourself true friendship isn't about entertainment? And of course, what to do when a friendship starts off strong and just fizzles? Nothing happened, but there's just nothing there anymore. Is it OK to let go?

Fundamentally, you don't need a checklist of legit and non-legit reasons to end a friendship. Go with your gut and your heart. That said, here are seven questions to ask yourself to make those fuzzy situations a little bit clearer:

1. Does it feel genuine, or like a transaction?

Some people are friends with you because of what you can do for them. Red flags include friends who repeatedly try to sell you something, ask to borrow money again and again, or keep tabs on favors. ("You owe me housesitting because I took care of your dog.") These friends routinely cross the line between friendship and business.

The transaction might also be more subtle — you're friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You're friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.

In sum, if you leave every interaction with an urge to wash your hands, look closer and see if you might using them or being used yourself. In the end, you want friends, not an entourage.

2. Are you holding each other back from getting healthy?

Back in 2007, a now-famous study in the New England Journal of Medicine tracked the spread of obesity through a "deeply interconnected social network" of more than 12,000 people, underscoring that social ties link to health behavior. 

Turns out healthy (or unhealthy) habits can circulate within a smaller friend group, too. For instance, unhealthy psychological habits like a tendency to put each other down or to complain constantly can spread from friend to friend. Or unhealthy body image or disordered eating habits might be a culture in your circle.

More seriously, if you're battling a substance abuse problem normalized by a friend group ("If we all drink until we black out, doesn't that make it normal?"), it's difficult yet crucial to drop friends. Indeed, showing up at the same bar with the same people will inevitably lead to the same behavior.

Ideally, friends work together to eat better, team up to exercise, or weather the horrors of stopping smoking together. But if your friend pulls you down, pressures you to drink or smoke after you've made it clear you're trying to change, or otherwise ridicules your attempts to take care of yourself, it may be time to distance yourself.

3. Are you being manipulated?

Manipulation, fundamentally, is managing the emotions of others, and not in a good way.  It's sulking to get someone to feel bad, it's being especially nice to butter someone up.

It's really hard to put your finger on whether or not it's happening, because being the target of manipulation is like being the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water — it's only after you're out that you realize the full extent of what was happening.

But there are clues: your friendship may feel unnecessarily intricate. You're at a loss for words when others ask you about the friendship. "It's complicated," is the best you can muster.

Another clue: without quite realizing it, you've changed for the worse as a result of this friendship (less happy, less secure, less confident) but somehow you're the one always doing the apologizing. Or you may just feel like something is always off. You even ask your friend "what's wrong?" but the answer (or the resulting silent treatment) just makes you more confused.

Any of these clues may be signs of emotional manipulation. Indeed, a 2016 study unsurprisingly found that manipulation hung together with lower levels of important friendship characteristics like being able to express personal thoughts and feelings, providing comfort when needed, simply being fun to be with, and always being there for each other (which, by the way, in research-speak is called "reliable alliance").

4. Are you friends simply because they're similar to you? 

Sometimes we force a friendship when we have a similar background and similar lives. Similarity somehow makes us think we should be friends. But it doesn't matter if you went to the same elementary school or look like spitting images of each other.

What's really important? Well, a 2012 study assessed over 1,400 people; some of them had friendships with people of a different race, sexual orientation, or gender, and some of them did not. Those with cross-category friendships placed less value on having similar lives, values, and experiences as their friends. What did they focus on instead? The true building blocks of friendship: trust, honesty, respect, and being there for each other.

5. Do you do all the work in the relationship?

Do any of these sound familiar? You justify selfish and inconsiderate behavior: "I'm sure he meant to clean up this mess he left when he borrowed my car; he was probably just busy." You initiate all the ideas, make all the plans, and are responsible for changing them if they're not convenient for your friend: "Oh, you decided to meet a Tinder date tonight? Um, sure, we can reschedule." And finally, you do all the emotional work — talking them down, shoring them up: "Of course you're amazing. Sure, let's talk about all the ways you rock. Again."

If you're doing all the work in the relationship, you're an employee, not a friend. Time to consider going on strike.

6. Can you count on each other?

This one may sound cliche, but it's important. Friends shouldn't be like your iPod earphones — never around when you need them but getting tangled up in things when you're not.

The research on friendship is rife with words like "reciprocal,""mutual," and "shared," and if none of those come to mind when you think about a particular friendship, it might be time to back away.

Indeed, all those graduation night songs about "I'll be on your side forevermore" and "I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on," while cheesy, are about more than swaying with arms around each other's shoulders. Good friendships represent an equilibrium of mutual support. Even dissimilarities between good friends manage to balance each other out.

Of course, over time the balance will shift back and forth — you will inevitably have a major life crisis at the same time your friend gets a promotion, but good friends are there to share in your successes and your struggles. You don't have to link arms and sing, but you should feel sure than in your friendship, winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call.

7. Can you be yourself?

Let's end with the big one. You're not the same everywhere you go — you behave differently at a job interview or visiting grandma than when hanging out with your friends, but if you feel pulled to change or hide who you are, or you feel ashamed after hanging out with your friend, it may be time to try on other friendships.

To wrap up, decades of research and millennia of common sense tell us that connecting with true friends is one of the best things we can do for our health and happiness.

Breaking up with less-than-true friends is a tough decision. Indeed, there must have been a time when you were good friends to each other, or you wouldn't be in struggling with the question to begin with.

Now, friends will come and go from your life. Some will be context-dependent, like a work friend or a school friend. These are all fine. Not every friend needs to be a Golden Girls-style pal and confidante. But real friends shouldn't hurt, manipulate, or use you, or pressure you to be someone you're not. A true friend inspires you to be better, happier, healthier, and more "yourself."

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say when you've decided you don't want to be friends anymore

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: I switched from Mac to Windows and I'm never going back — here's why

Some people are always late. You probably know someone who just never shows up when you want them to, armed with an excuse when they finally appear 20 minutes later.

Maybe it's you who has the problem, and no matter how many alarms and reminders you set, you just can't help but leave the house after the time you were supposed to be at an agreed location.

Plenty of research has gone into trying to figure out why some of us are like this.

According to human behaviour writer and lecturer Alfie Kohn in a blog post on Psychology Today, saying these people are "inconsiderate" is accurate, but it doesn't provide a reason behind the tardiness.

Kohn suggests a couple of reasons why people could be chronically late — perhaps they enjoy the attention of making an entrance, or maybe they are too self involved and wrapped up in their own lives and needs to care that they make people wait.

However, he notes this can't apply to those who are so late for everything they dramatically inconvenience themselves. For example, they miss flights or get shut out of events they really wanted to attend. While some people check the clock every so often when a deadline is coming up, Kohn suggests some people aren't so great at doing this.

"Perhaps they have a tendency to lose themselves in whatever they're currently doing and don't discover what time it is until it's too late,"he wrote.

The way we are wired to manage time could be to blame.

A study from 2016 by Washington University psychologists Emily Waldun and Mark McDaniel looked into this theory, and described it as Time-Based Prospective Memory (TBPM.) In an experiment, they gave subjects a set time to complete a task, with the advantage of being able to check a clock. It was set up in such a way that participants would likely get caught up in the tasks, such as a jigsaw puzzle, and be too preoccupied to check the time. From the results, it was clear some people were better time estimators than others.

This is similar to when you get engrossed in an activity like scrolling through Instagram or reading the news. You might be on your bed with five minutes to spare before you need to leave for work. However, while you think only five minutes have passed, you could have let 20 minutes slip by.

According to Dr Susan Krauss Whitbourne, professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, people who are good at TBPM tasks appear to be better at regulating their own timekeeping behaviour. She wrote in a blog post on Psychology Today that it's important to be able to gauge the amount of time something might take.

For instance, you might be able to use Google Maps to estimate the time it takes to get somewhere, but you can't account for everything along the way, like a conversation with someone you bump into, or your train being slightly delayed. Your plan can be solid, but still fail in reality.

Or it could just be your personality.

Whitbourne says Freudian psychologists may believe excessive tardiness boils down to people having self-destructive tendencies, leaving them trapped in a cycle of being late and punishing themselves for it. Kohn also argues it could simply come down to a lack of self-discipline, where people find it impossible to pull themselves away from an activity they're enjoying or a task they feel they have to complete.

Psychologist and writer Adoree Durayappah-Harrison explains in a blog post on Psychology Today that for some people, being late just beats the alternative. Some people just don't like to be early. Sometimes it is just inefficient to be hanging around for someone before they arrive, or they might feel awkward or uncomfortable waiting. There's also social faux pas to be aware of, such as the understanding that nobody shows up for a dinner party that starts at 7 p.m. bang on 7 p.m.

There's also another way to look at it. A New York Times article suggests consistent lateness is driven by optimism — for example, the ability to believe a 25-minute commute will only take 10 minutes, if everything goes in your favour. In a blog post on Wait But Why analysing this theory, popular writer Tim Urban calls this behaviour "insanity," which is a fair point.

Either way, there are many reasons that could explain why people are late all the time. If you can narrow down your own personal culprit, you might be able to snap out of the habit — unless you don't want to.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: 7 unprofessional email habits that make everyone hate you