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Whether it's becoming exclusive, living together, or putting a ring on it, moving ahead in your relationship can be both exciting and daunting. 

Shira Teichman is a dating coach and the founder of Breakthrough Dating, which offers workshops that aim to help people feel "un-stuck" and empowered as they seek lasting relationships. She spoke to INSIDER via email about what you should ask yourself when you're taking that next step, whatever it may be.

Here are four important questions you should consider before your relationship starts to get real.

1. How do you feel about yourself when you're with them?

You shouldn't rely on your partner to make you feel confident and self-assured, but if you entered the relationship feeling that way, the answer to that question can help you assess how your partner has impacted your sense of self.

"Your partner must respect you and treat you with kindness," said Teichman. "But ultimately, nobody can give you your self-worth but you."

2. Do you miss them when you're apart?

You need to be apart every once in a while in order to miss someone's company. If you think you're spending too much time together to know how you feel, talk to your partner about setting new boundaries.

"Before you can say whether or not you miss the person you’re dating, you’ve got to be real about whether or not you’re giving yourself a chance to miss him or her," she said. "If you’re together 24/7 or something close to that, then there’s no way you have the ability to answer that question fairly."

3. Is there a balance of power in the relationship?

Teichman said that all relationships are a constant negotiation of power, and not every decision will result in your preferred outcome. You don't always have to agree, but you do always have to feel heard and respected.

"Reflecting upon how decisions are made between the two of you — and more importantly, how you make each other feel while those decisions are being made— is key to understanding the potential your relationship has to succeed," she said.

4. Do they bring out the best in you?

Think about your goals and the gifts you possess that help you reach them. Has your partner supported your endeavors through both words and actions? 

If you don't have a checklist at the ready, or you're not sure what's unique and special about you, Teichman recommends thinking about moments when you felt the most useful, valued, and appreciated. 

"If you don’t know what gifts you have to offer, then you can’t really know if the person you’re dating is someone who brings them out in you," she said.

SEE ALSO: 7 things people think are terrible for their relationship that actually aren't

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There's no end to the research that looks into when we will be happiest in life. Everyone wants to be happy, and the pursuit of it seems to be the ultimate goal for a lot of us.

However, while you may assume the prime of your life will occur in your 20s or 30s, this might not actually be the case — while emphasis is often given to the younger years, you might have a bit longer to wait to really be happiest.

The Independent reported that a survey by a financial services company found that those over 50 are happier, wealthier, and more carefree than ever. The study surveyed over 50,000 people aged 50 and over, and the general consensus of the fifty-somethings was they felt four years younger physically and ten years younger mentally than their actual age.

This concept has led to the emergence of the phrase "nifty 50s." It encompasses the age group who are responsible for leisure centers and activity groups becoming a booming industry again when they retire and take up new hobbies.

According to the survey, over half of the over-50 respondents had been traveling since they'd turned 50, 20% planned to learn a new language, and 10% wanted to learn a musical instrument. Overall, 61% said they were enjoying life more because they had more free time to fill with these activities.

And it's not just the practical things. The 50-somethings also boast about having the best sex of their lives. According to The Independent, one woman said after reaching this age she "had the best sex of my life with younger men."

This isn't the first time research has shown getting older could also mean getting happier. In 2016, research from the Office for National Statistics concluded the most joyful age bracket was 65-79.

The survey looked at more than 300,000 adults across the UK and found life satisfaction peaked at that age before declining over 80. However, those in their 40s — just before hitting the golden age range — were shown to be less happy with the highest levels of anxiety.

One possible reason given was that people at this age often have to care for elderly parents as well as being parents themselves, which can be an emotionally exhausting experience.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, Dr. Romeo Vitelli says that happiness can be a tricky thing to define. It can mean the kind of joy that only occurs at key moments in our lives, or it can simply be the amount of positive emotion we happen to feel at any given time. However, there does appear to be an upswing as we get older.

The Midlife in the United Status research project found happiness was relatively stable for people in their mid-20s to late 30s, then it declined during the 40s and slowly rose to a peak from 60 to 69 years old.

Of course, it's all relative, and there isn't a set rule to how happy you will be at certain times in your life. However, it is comforting to know you may gain more satisfaction and well-being as you get older and approach those looming milestones. Maybe 60 really is the new 40.

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The INSIDER Summary: 

• The Jewish celebratory dance called the horah involves dancing around in circles.
  
• At weddings, the bride and groom are lifted on chairs in the middle of the circle.
• It's all for the entertainment of the married couple.

If you've ever been to a Jewish wedding, you've probably witnessed what, to an outsider, might be a strange dance.

Everyone gathers around the bride and groom and dances around the couple in a circle. At some point, someone brings in some chairs for the couple to sit on, and a few of the stronger guests hoist them up into the air as people dance around them.

There are really two things going on here.

One is the circle dance, called the horah, a type of Israeli folk dance that originally comes from Romania. The other thing, lifting up the bride and groom, is all about singling them out for celebration and having fun — and it's not technically part of the horah dance.

Traditional horah dances don't necessarily involve lifting people up on chairs.

The story of traditional Jewish dancing is a weird one. The Torah (otherwise known as the Old Testament) and Talmud (another foundational Jewish text) reference dancing on different occasions. Dancing is an important component of celebrating specific life occasions  — like weddings and bar and bat mitzvot — as well as holidays.

But the exact type of Jewish dances differed after the Romans exiled the Jews from the land of Israel in 70 CE. From then on, the types of Jewish dances evolved, according to the International Encyclopedia of Dance, with different traditions according to different cultural expressions.

Yemenite Jews carried on intricate dances, many of which are still practiced today. Hasidic Jews developed dances that displayed ecstatic fervor in celebration of God. And an influential 12th-century rabbi called Maimonides noted that "a Jewish bride in Egypt executed a sword dance, as was the habit in Muslim society when entertaining wedding guests of both sexes."

The contemporary Israeli horah comes from Romania (which itself stems from an ancient dance from Greece), and went through a few changes in the 1880s, according to the encyclopedia. Baruch Agadati, a legendary Israeli folk dancer and filmmaker, established the dance in its current form by the 1930s.

The dance itself, though, involves stepping around and jumping in a circle. It's usually performed to the song "Hava Nagilah," and it typically occurs during holiday celebrations and personal milestones.

All this to say, the dance doesn't necessarily include lifting people up on chairs.

Dancing for the bride's entertainment is an important part of the wedding.

The chair thing is a separate component, part of a Jewish tradition of making the bride happy on her wedding day.

There are numerous Jewish mitzvot — or commandments — related to weddings, which are discussed at length in the Talmudic code of Jewish law.

In one section, the Talmud makes a reference to dancing "before the bride." The exact meaning of that phrase is argued over, but one of the ways it's practiced today is by dancing before the bride and groom to entertain them.

Or, put simply, it's all for fun.

The question, of course, is how to entertain the bride. One rabbi cited in the Talmud was said to lift up the bride and put her on his shoulders, but other rabbis discouraged that practice because it appears to objectify the bride.

So when exactly did entertaining the bride turn into lifting the bride and groom on chairs? The answer, Jewish dance scholar Judith Ingber told INSIDER, "is lost in the mist of time." But over the years, she's noticed that people have become practical about it.

"I have seen chairs for religious brides and grooms with small wooden handles on the chair seats," Ingber, the editor of "Seeing Israeli and Jewish Dance," wrote in an email. "They can literally hang on as they are hoisted up and carried aloft in a kind of dizzying turning and lifting."

For Orthodox Jews, the chairs also provide a functional purpose. Orthodox Jews generally don't have men and women dance together. Instead, they dance in separate groups with what's called a mechitza — a sort of (often portable) partition wall — between then. If the bride and groom are lifted up on chairs on their respective sides of the mechitza, they can see each other during the dancing.

That's also where the handkerchief comes in. The couple could connect to each other by holding either end of a handkerchief over the mechitza. The handkerchief also plays thematic roles in Jewish marriage ceremonies as a part of a ritual that seals the marriage contract and, in some Hasidic communities, as part of a different kind of wedding dance.

In the past few decades, picking up people on chairs during Jewish weddings has become part of pop culture, whether in "Fiddler on the Roof" or in the season five finale of "New Girl." It also isn't just a wedding thing anymore— the chair thing is often done for a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. It's a way for the guests to express their joy about the person being celebrated.

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Everyone's got a story about how they thought a certain friend was mean the first time they met, but realized later that he or she is actually the nicest person ever.

Generally, you've only got a few seconds to make someone want to spend more time with you. Everything matters — from your last name to the smell of your sweat (gross, we know).

Below, Business Insider rounded up various scientific findings on the traits and behaviors that make people dislike you, both online and in person.

SEE ALSO: 16 psychological tricks to make people like you immediately

1. Sharing too many photos on Facebook

If you're the kind of person who shares snapshots of your honeymoon, cousin's graduation, and dog dressed in a Halloween costume all in the same day, you might want to stop.

A 2013 study found that posting too many photos on Facebook can hurt your real-life relationships.

"This is because people, other than very close friends and relatives, don't seem to relate well to those who constantly share photos of themselves," lead study author David Houghton, of Birmingham Business School, said in a release.

Specifically, friends don't like it when you've got too many photos of family, and relatives don't like it when you've got too many photos of friends.

Ben Marder, of the University of Edinburgh, also worked on the study, and warned: "Be cautious when sharing and think how it will be perceived by all the others who may see it. Although sharing is a great way to better relationships, it can also damage them."

2. Having too many, or too few, Facebook friends

In a 2008 study, Michigan State University researchers asked college students to look at fictional Facebook profiles and decide how much they liked the profiles' owners. 

Results showed that the "sweet spot" for likability was about 300 friends. Likability ratings were lowest when a profile owner had only about 100 friends, and almost as low when they had more than 300 friends.

As for why 300-plus friends could be a turn-off, the study authors write, "Individuals with too many friends may appear to be focusing too much on Facebook, friending out of desperation rather than popularity."

On the other hand, the college students doing the evaluation each had about 300 Facebook friends themselves. So the researchers acknowledge that in a population where the most common number of Facebook friends is 1,000, the sweet spot for likability could be 1,000.

Keep in mind, though, that a 2014 survey found that the average number of Facebook friends among adult users was 338.

Interestingly, the study also suggested that participants weren't consciously aware that they liked people less when they had too many or too few Facebook friends.

3. Disclosing something extremely personal early on in a relationship

In general, people like each other more after they've traded confidences. Self-disclosure is one of the best ways to make friends as an adult.

But psychologists say that disclosing something too intimate— say, that your sister is having an extramarital affair — while you're still getting to know someone can make you seem insecure and decrease your likability.

The key is to get just the right amount of personal. As a 2013 study led by Susan Sprecher at Illinois State University suggests, simply sharing details about your hobbies and your favorite childhood memories can make you seem warmer and more likable.

The INSIDER Summary: 

• Dating reality shows started back in 1965 when "The Dating Game" premiered on ABC. 
• Since then, the genre has skyrocketed into success. 
• What started as televised matchmaking has since turned into drama-filled debauchery. 

If you think that "The Bachelor" started the reality show dating game, you couldn't be more wrong. 

The genre kicked things off over half a century ago with ABC's "The Dating Game." Since it hit the airwaves in 1965, several producers and networks have followed suit, and innocent matchmaking shows have evolved into wildly successful dating programs with an emphasis on sex and drama.

Check out the roller coaster evolution of dating shows below. 

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"The Dating Game" revolutionized reality TV by playing matchmaker for young men and woman when it started in 1965.

Each episode helped one man or woman find a date with eligible contestants. The catch? The potential partners were hidden out of sight behind a board while the eligible bachelor or bachelorette made decisions based solely on their answers and voices.

By the time the show ended in 1999 after four separate runs, the game had become iconic, and was parodied on comedy shows like "Saturday Night Live" and "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

The next big dating show was "Blind Date," UK's big hit that started in 1985 and lasted until 2003.

It started out the same as "The Dating Game," but then sent the couples on epic first dates where they would finally meet one another. Some people ended up at ice cream factories, but others met in the Maldives or Anguilla.

Now, it's coming back this year after 14 years off the air. 

2001's "Temptation Island" started to push the boundaries of what it meant to date on TV.

Fox decided to put several happy couples in the same house as a group of lively singles. The idea was to test the couples' commitment to each other when there was so much temptation — get it? — to cheat in the house.

It was controversial before the first episode even aired, which helped drive up ratings in its first season. In the following years, several shows would take notes from this dramatic dating game. 

The INSIDER Summary:

• What it means to "feel sexy" is unique to each individual.
• We asked three sex and relationship experts to share their personal definitions.
• They mentioned embracing your individuality, avoiding talk about other people's bodies, and taking fabulous selfies.

What does it mean to feel sexy?

As these sex and relationship experts will tell you, there's no one right answer.

Following their presentations at the Explore More Summit, a 10-day series of talks about sexuality, relationships, and self-love, we asked each of them to share their own definition.

Here's what they said will help anyone embrace their sexiness.

Embrace your individuality.

"I think 'feeling sexy' is unique to each person," said Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex," and Director of Education at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education. "We’re all an amalgamation of experiences, blend in our personality, sense of humor, and a hundred other things that make us who we are and you have your own brand of sexy that you emanate!"

Listen to your body.

"Focusing on what turns you on really does it for me," said Chase. "Sometimes I’ll reminisce about a past dalliance which will get me in the mood. If that doesn’t work, think about what kinds of things get your juices flowing, what you fantasize about, or when you feel most turned on."

Be mindful of the media you consume.

"I'm very mindful about what media I ingest in terms of depictions of women's bodies and how much of that I let into my world," said Kate McCombs, founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for people who love having geeky conversations about sexuality. "When I started curating that better, I noticed feeling a hell of a lot better about my body."

Avoid talking about other people's bodies.

"I enjoy being around people who, when they compliment others about appearance, it would be about style or the effort that someone's put into a good outfit, or an expression of self, not about how fat they are or anything relating to the actual body," said McCombs. "That has made a huge difference in how I experience the world. And having a partner who is also on that wavelength has made a really huge difference."

Take fabulous selfies.

"I had this amazing experience about two years ago where I don’t exactly know what happened, but I think I had taken a lot of sexy selfies and was completely sure that I was the hottest person on the planet," said Virgie Tovar, editor of the anthology "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion" and creator of Babecamp, an online course to help people ditch diet culture. "It made orgasms easier — and better! It made acting on my desire easier. It was amazing."

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Relationships tend to happen quickly, but they can also end just as soon as they began.

At the start, you might experience butterflies and exciting adventures, but certain signs your relationship might end can lead you to back away from these happy, special moments and turn into a darker reality.

While a breakup is tough, no matter who ends it, sometimes it's really for the best.

As a certified health coach, I work with clients on deciding when a relationship isn't meant to last, as it might be causing strain and hardship.

If you're becoming less happy when you're with your partner, or the relationship is rocking your confidence, it might be time to call it quits. Staying in an unhealthy relationship, long-term, can hurt your health, mentally and physically, as it never feels good to be around negative energy so often in the day.

No matter how long you've been dating your S.O., the breakup will still probably hurt, and the time for closure and recovery is definitely based on the individual. If you've taken the giant step to end your relationship, just know it could be the best thing you've ever done. Here are 13 little clues to help you realize that it's time to move on and put the relationship in the past.

1. You Don't Feel Safe Opening Up

"As a coach that specializes in working with women who have suffered from disordered eating, poor body image and low self esteem, I have seen one too many women hide their past problems with food, their body and themselves. When you share your struggles and difficulties you not only strengthen your bond through your vulnerability but you also set the precedence for an open and nonjudgmental relationship for the future," says life and wellness coach Dana Peters over email with Bustle.

2. Family Drama

While you can't always find the perfect family to bond with, some families are especially difficult, and if the drama is causing tension in your relationship with your partner, it might be best to end things. "While I'd advise anyone to execute their best judgment, it's never the best idea to keep secrets about your family. Ultimately the truth comes out and your partner may question why you felt you couldn't be straight with them about any of your family issues," adds Peters.

3. Not Being On The Same Page About Money

According to Michelle Sinkovits Ferguson, Divorce Attorney & Partner at Greenberg & Sinkovits, LLC, over email with Bustle, not being on the same page about money and finances can cause arguments in relationships and jeopardize the success of partnership in the future.

The INSIDER Summary:

• Don't check your phone during dates, and set a time to stop using your phone at night.
• Don't follow ex-boyfriends or girlfriends unless they're part of your friend group.
• Ask permission before posting a photo of you and your partner.

"Social media is a slippery slope," said Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and couples therapist.

When she sees couples fight about posting too many photos or "liking" an ex's photos long after they have broken up, she steps in to help set healthy boundaries.

Here are her social media rules for couples.

Dates = no-phone zone

Date nights are for spending time with your partner, not your thousands of "friends" and followers. Keep phones off or silent, as well as out of sight to resist the temptation of scrolling through your feed.

Set a time to unplug

Checking your phone before bed is bad for your sleep schedule, anyway.

"There should be a certain time at night you turn it off," she said.

Ask before posting pictures

It's a nice thing to do in general, but especially when it comes to your significant other. They might have a different idea of what's acceptable for public consumption. Or they just might not like the way they look in that photo. Play it safe and ask.

Don't follow your exes' accounts

Unless your ex is in your social circle, your current partner knows them, and enough time has passed for that ship to have sailed, there's no need to follow your ex on social media, much less creep on their accounts.

Don't "like" their photos either

"You do hear a lot of stories about people having affairs with old boyfriends or girlfriends on Facebook or Instagram," said Sussman. "That can be dangerous. Why not keep your social circle to people who are truly in your social circle?"

Take everything with a grain of salt

Happy couples actually post less about their relationship on social media because they don't feel the need to compare themselves to others.

"The more social media we look at, the more it looks like everyone is having a better life than we are," she said. "That can make us feel really bad, and that can also inspire us to want to act like we're having the best life."

Sussman said that many of her clients post several times a day about what they're eating, wearing, and doing — but most of it isn't accurate.

"You really have to take social media with a grain of salt," she said. "I think a small percentage of it is true."

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A few lucky people have the ability to speak fluently without hesitation. For the rest of us, however, words like "um,""er," and "I mean," are a common part of our language.

Being slightly less eloquent doesn't necessarily mean you aren't as smart, though. Linguists have said those who use more of these so called "filler words" are probably being more conscious of who they are talking to and what they are saying.

Michael Handford, a professor of applied linguistics and English language at Cardiff University, told The Independent people often use these words to be polite.

"If you invite somebody to a party and they say no without any of those markers they will appear rude probably," he said. "If you say 'um, well, you know, sorry' it makes it much more polite. They play a really important politeness function."

Another use for filler words is when we are speaking about something deep or complicated, and we're aware the person listening might need more time to catch up.

"As speakers we are often aware [that] if we speak too complexly the listener might not understand,"Handford told The Independent. "We use these items, pretty unconsciously, to help the person process what we are saying."

This goes for the person talking, too. Sometimes you might be racking your brain for the right words, because you're having a mind-blank or you've been asked a particularly difficult or technical question. Equally, you might just be making noises to signal you have something to say, and your brain just hasn't caught up yet.

Filler words could indicate someone is lying.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, Dr. John R. Schafer, professor at Western Illinois University and a retired FBI Special Agent, said these little words can also signal deception. He said tag words such as "you know,""I mean," and "right" are used to seek confirmation in the listener, or convince them.

"Truthful people convey information and seek confirmation from listeners," he wrote. "Liars try to convince others that what is being said is true. The word 'like' indicates that what is being said is different than what the speaker actually means."

Similarly, "um" and "uh" delay speech, giving someone time to evaluate their answers, to ensure what they are saying will be believed.

Of course this doesn't mean that everyone who hesitates is a liar. Schafer points out that little words can also be out of habit, and are used pretty much automatically during our conversations. So it really depends on the situation.

The use of filler words varies with age, gender, and personality.

In 2014, Dr. Charlyn M. Laserna and her colleagues analyzed the recordings of everyday speech collected from hundreds of participants from studies between 2003 and 2013. They wanted to work out whether there was any difference in the use of filler words depending on age, gender, or personality. Their findings were published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology.

The results showed younger people used little words more frequently, and women used them more than men. However, this was only present in teenagers and students, and the gender difference disappeared after age 23. The researchers also concluded that more conscientious people used filler words more often.

"Conscientious people are generally more thoughtful and aware of themselves and their surroundings," the researchers wrote. "[This shows a] desire to share or rephrase opinions to recipients."

I mean, it's not an exact science, right? But there are, like, several reasons people could be hesitating. So it's a case of working out whether you think they are doing it on purpose to deceive you, or whether it's just a part of their personality. It could just be a sign they're a good listener, you know?

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Romantic attraction is a complicated thing that scientists still don't completely understand.

But, through research and experimentation, they've come up with many ideas about what draws one person to another.

Below, Business Insider has rounded up some of the most compelling scientific insights about the traits and behaviors that make men more appealing to women.

The best part? None of the items on this list require you to get cosmetic surgery or do a major personality overhaul. We're talking small tweaks, like acting nicer and swapping your deodorant.

Read on for simple ways to step up your dating game.

SEE ALSO: 13 science-backed ways to appear more attractive

Look for the universal signals of flirtation

Rutgers University anthropologist and best-selling author Helen E. Fisher says that women around the world signal interest with a remarkably similar sequence of expressions.

As she shared at Psychology Today, it goes like this:

"First the woman smiles at her admirer and lifts her eyebrows in a swift, jerky motion as she opens her eyes wide to gaze at him. Then she drops her eyelids, tilts her head down and to the side, and looks away. Frequently she also covers her face with her hands, giggling nervously as she retreats behind her palms.

"This sequential flirting gesture is so distinctive that [German ethologist Irenaus] Eibl-Eibesfeldt was convinced it is innate, a human female courtship ploy that evolved eons ago to signal sexual interest."

Look for someone 'in your league'

Men — and women — are attracted to people who are as attractive as they are.

In one study, researchers at the University of California at Berkeley looked at the behavior of 60 heterosexual male and 60 heterosexual female users on an online dating site. While the majority of users were inclined to reach out to highly attractive people, they were most likely to get a response if that person was about as attractive as they were (as judged by independent raters).

"If you go for someone roughly [equal] to you in attractiveness, it avoids two things,"Nottingham Trent University psychologist Mark Sergeant, who was not involved with the study, told The Independent. "If they are much better-looking than you, you are worried about them going off and having affairs. If they are much less attractive, you are worried that you could do better."

Present yourself as high status

A 2010 study from the University of Wales Institute found that men pictured with a Silver Bentley Continental GT were perceived as way more attractive than those pictures with a Red Ford Fiesta ST.

And a 2014 study from Cardiff Metropolitan University found that men pictured in a luxury apartment were rated more attractive than those in a control group.

Interestingly, men don't seem to be more attracted to women when they're pictured in a high-status context.

If you get engaged with a diamond ring, you can thank De Beers.

The reason diamonds are the gem of choice is because of a massively successful advertising campaign from one of the biggest diamond companies in the history of the world.

In the early 1900s, diamond production was low. While giving engagement rings was a common practice, the gems weren't always diamonds. By 1938, diamonds were becoming increasingly popular for engagement rings, but then the value collapsed with the Great Depression. Still, diamonds weren't ubiquitous back then — only 10% of engagement rings included diamonds, according to the BBC.

That all changed in 1947 when De Beers launched an advertising campaign for diamond engagement rings with the slogan "a diamond is forever." As the investigative journalist Edward Jay Epstein revealed in a famous 20,000-word 1982 exposé in The Atlantic, the campaign was extraordinary in its scope.

The four-decade-long campaign changed the way the world thought about diamonds.

The company developed elaborate psychological models to plan its advertising campaign. It sought to make diamonds, with their aesthetic brilliance and unbreakable chemistry, emblematic of the eternal commitment of marriage.

"Even though diamonds can in fact be shattered, chipped, discolored, or incinerated to ash, the concept of eternity perfectly captured the magical qualities that the advertising agency wanted to attribute to diamonds," Epstein wrote.

The advertising strategy included putting "a diamond is forever" advertisements in magazines and arranging for lecturers to go to high schools to talk about the value of diamonds. By 1946, Epstein wrote, De Beers financed a weekly service called "Hollywood Personalities" that "provided 125 leading newspapers with descriptions of the diamonds worn by movie stars."

They also encouraged celebrities and socialites to wear diamonds wherever they went, imprinting the gem on the public mind as an aspirational target.

Between 1939 and 1979, De Beers's advertising budget soared from $200,000 to $10 million per year, according to The Atlantic. It was worth it. Over the same period, its wholesale diamond sales in the United States grew from $23 million to $2.1 billion. Also over that period of time, De Beers went from recommending spending one month's salary on an engagement ring to two month's.

The idea of buying diamonds spread overseas.

As Western influence grew in the 20th century, so did De Beers's advertising campaign. Traditional Japanese marriages, for example, don't include engagement rings. But following the American occupation of Japan, De Beers marketed them aggressively, billing them as a signifier of modern Western values.

By the time Epstein's exposé came out, Japan was the second-largest diamond market in the world, after the United States.

"When the campaign began, in 1967, not quite 5% of engaged Japanese women received a diamond engagement ring,"Epstein wrote. "By 1981, some 60% of Japanese brides wore diamonds. In a mere fourteen years, the 1,500-year Japanese tradition had been radically revised."

Historically, engagements weren't associated with diamond rings.

Given some kind of promissory token for marriage is an idea that has existed in many different cultures and religions for centuries.

The idea of giving a gem-studded ring supposedly originates with Archduke Maximilian of Austria, who in 1477 is said to have proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring. But scholarship is thin on the giving of engagement rings prior to the De Beers campaign. And during Maximilian's time, nobles often proposed with different kinds of jewelry.

In Europe, using different gems were common. Prince Albert proposed to Queen Victoria in 1840 with an emerald ring that resembled a snake. But diamonds did spike in England after 1887, when hundreds of pieces of diamond jewelry were made to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Victoria's time on the throne, according to Racked.

And in America, the tradition also didn't always resemble what it does today. Women often gave engagement rings to men in the 1840s.

Norms about buying diamonds are changing.

Today, diamond rings are nearly ubiquitous. 75% of brides wear one, according to the Jewelry Industry Research Institute.

But interest appears to be waning among younger Americans, according to The Economist. They're kind of patriarchal and seem outdated in an era of greater gender equality.

More importantly, diamonds are really expensive. Younger people make $10,000 less on average and have accumulated half as many assets as Baby Boomers did at their age.

Instead, diamond companies are propped up by the growing middle classes in India and China, who still find diamonds aspirational, according to The Economist.

There is also widespread awareness of "blood diamonds," a term used to highlight the fact that diamond sales can be used to fund violence around the world.

One solution — synthetic diamonds — still aren't very popular. They account for just 1% of diamond sales, according to The Economist. And if they ever do catch on, De Beers will be fine. Its own synthetic diamond operation has more than 450 patents.

SEE ALSO: I spent 3 months finding the perfect engagement ring, and it was terrifying — but worth it

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Rachel Sussman helps couples in crisis.

As a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, she helps them work through squabbles such as financial disagreements or in-law struggles, as well as more serious conflicts like jealousy, infidelity, and anger management.

Even with such a wide range of issues, there's one piece of advice that she keeps coming back to:

Slow down and listen.

Active listening is a crucial component of any relationship. When communication feels frantic, like each person is trying harder to be heard than have any sort of exchange, no one wins.

"Your fantasy is that your partner should know you better than anyone," said Sussman. "So when your partner doesn't get you, when your partner doesn't agree with you, when your partner invalidates you, it can be a very lonely, scary experience." 

Sussman said it's okay to take some space and wait to process something before talking about it. If couples blast each other with endless streams of words without pausing or checking in, communication can shut down altogether. But if you slow down, ask thoughtful questions, and remain open to the answers, you can find out what's really going on.

"People tend to talk over each other, they tend to feel really strongly that they need to be heard," said Sussman. "But a lot of the devil is in the details."

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LONDON — Dating in a big city like London can be hard.

Whether it's the pace at which people come and go or the city's overwhelming size that gets to you, it can feel hard to meet someone you connect with — and even more difficult to make it last.

However, some people seem to have the whole thing figured out.

Dating app Happn, which launched in the UK in May 2014, allows people to see who they have crossed paths with in real life.

If two people on the platform — which has nearly 30 million users around the world — "like" each other by tapping a heart on the other user's profile, then they can start messaging each other.

With 1.7 million people using the app in the UK, 800,000 of whom live in London, Happn's users certainly know the ins and outs of dating in the city.

Business Insider teamed up with Happn to find out who the most "liked" users are — and to ask them what they owe their dating success to.

Out of over a million single candidates, these are the 18 men and women who came out on top, ranked in ascending order of popularity. 

18. Graham Alexander, 32.

Job: Strategy Consultant.

Hometown: London.

Perfect first date:"An art exhibition, a quirky brunch place — for me a first date has to be somewhere we haven't been before, so if we don't connect, at least we've explored."

Dream vacation:"Horse riding to the Eagle Festival in Mongolia, or across Lake Baikal."

Song of the moment:"Why Me"— Big Bad Voodoo Daddies.

Dream dinner guest:"Stephen Dubner (of Freakonomics fame)."

Book of the moment:"Geography of Thought"— Richard Nisbett.

17. James Valori, 31.

Job: Founder and CEO at Brix Learning.

Hometown: London.

Dream vacation: "Heli-skiing in Alaska."

Surprising fact:"I’m terrified of tomato ketchup."

Favourite food:"Parmagiana Melanzana."

Perfect first date:"A sunny walk down the Thames from Vauxhall to the Tate Modern."

Dream dinner guest: Richard Linklater.

16. Maryann Noronha, 36.

Job: Emergency Doctor.

Hometown: Reading.

Perfect first date: "Something quirky and original. Just had one at a Sea Shanty Festival, which was amazing. Always drinks."

Dream dinner guest: Glenda Jackson.

Surprising fact: "I'd love to own a plane."

Book of the moment:"Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights" by Salman Rushdie.

Snoring is not just a romantic inconvenience — there is evidence that snoring is a warning sign of other health risks.

A 1987 study published in the BMJ Journal of Clinical Research showed that if a man was a snorer, it could potentially show that he had a higher risk of heart disease and stroke.

It can also have an impact on day-to-say life. Snoring causes poor quality sleep, meaning you're more likely to feel sleepy during the day, according to ENT surgeon Mike Dilkes' website. It can also cause sleep apnoea, which means your body doesn't get enough oxygen at night, which can cause high blood pressure, insulin resistance, loss of concentration, and even fatal heart attacks.

According to The Telegraph, Dilkes recommends an exercise regime which can help reduce the level of noise snorers make, or even stop it altogether. For those who have slept with a noisy partner, any reduction in sound levels would be a welcome relief.

Dilkes' workout is split into three exercises, which all focus on a different part of the mouth, neck, or tongue.

1. The first is the tongue curl, which, as its name suggests, involves curling your tongue backwards towards the soft palate — the soft bit on the roof of your mouth. Then you bring it forward to touch the back of your upper teeth.
2. The second is mouth stretches which involve opening your mouth as wide as you can and saying "ahh" for 20 seconds.
3. The third part is an exercise for the lower throat, where you have to stick our your tongue as far as possible, take a deep breath, and make a high-pitched noise for 30 seconds.

The whole regime should only take about five minutes. As you can see it's not exactly a quiet exercise, so you might want to find somewhere private to give it a go.

Dilkes told the Telegraph that snoring as you get older is often a symptom of loss of muscle tone in the mouth and neck. In these cases, the workout can be really helpful.

Other causes of snoring are obesity, excessive drinking, and smoking. Twice as many men as women snore, according to the NHS, and about 40% of these men are over 30.

The exercises might not be as effective for people who suffer from conditions like nasal injuries or enlarged tonsils, who may require surgery. However, it's worth giving them a go, because they could reduce the noise levels of your snoring.

"Hopefully exercising your throat will become something people do every night after brushing their teeth," Dilkes told the Telegraph. "Plus, if your wife sees that you are making a real effort, she is more likely to cut you some slack."

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Planning a wedding is stressful, so INSIDER spoke with several wedding planners to find out their best advice for engaged couples. 
• They recommend fixing a budget from the start, setting priorities, and making your wedding personal in creative ways.
  

Planning a wedding is notoriously stressful. But for wedding planners, putting on a huge event is a piece of cake. 

With wedding season coming up, INSIDER consulted a number of experienced wedding planners to find out their best advice for engaged couples preparing for their big day.

Here's what the professionals say you should absolutely do.

Set a budget.

"Having a budget is super important," Amy Shey Jacobs of Chandelier Events told INSIDER. "Money is a really tough thing to talk about, especially when it is your money," or there are "multiple parents contributing to the wedding."

"My big thing is don't leave the money discussion 'til the end," she said, adding that the wedding budget informs the shape of the event, down to the type of venue and size of the guest list. "You want to understand how much you have before you go shopping for the wedding you’re going to have. Once you have that structure it allows you to figure out your priorities."

Prioritize.

Celebrity wedding planner Andrea Freeman of Andrea Freeman Events said she asks her couples to think of five wedding "must-haves," around which they can begin to plan the wedding and spread the budget accordingly. "For example, if fashion is really important to the bride, we’re going to make sure that a good portion of their budget is allocated towards bridal" style, she said.

Jacobs' approach to planning is similar. "If food and a great band and photographer are your big three priorities, then that’s where you put the bulk of your budget," she said. "If your priority is more about having as many people in the room as possible... you could have a wedding during the day on a farm, because you can fit so many people in the space and the food might cost less."

"Pick your priorities and map it out with your budget, with your nuts and bolts."

Consider your guests.

The INSIDER Summary

• There are some weird indicators that determine how good in bed you are.
• Being a slow eater means that you savor things, which will translate over to your sex life also.
• Women who drink two glasses of wine each day are more sexually satisfied.   

Everyone wants to be good in bed. In turn, everyone wants to go to bed with someone who’s good in bed. At least I’m pretty sure this is the case. I’ve yet to meet someone who has said, “I really wish I were bad in bed,” or “Ugh… why can’t I meet someone who’s a nightmare in the bedroom?” Maybe these people do exist and I’m just casting a huge generalization, but I find it hard to believe. There are just certain areas in which people want to excel and I firmly believe that sex is one of them.

"A great lover makes you feel as though you’re 'escaping' your worries and totally engaged with them. Engagement with eye contact, the way you touch them, and slowing down helps build excitement, making climax easy to achieve," sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini tells Bustle.

While there are many components that can make you a great lay, according to research, there are actually indicators, before you even get into bed, that prove you’re pretty effing killer in the sack. It’s not just about your bedroom skills, the way you kiss, or even the way you carry yourself. But actual things that even border on being “weird,” that prove you know your way around not just a bedroom, but the person in your bed.

So if you, like many, are wondering exactly what these bizarre indicators might be, search no further. Here are 11 weird indicators that you’re killing it in the sack.

You drink a lot of wine.

A 2009 study by the University of Florence in Italy (of course) found that women who drink two glasses of wine a day are better in bed and more sexually satisfied than those who only drink one glass of wine a day or none at all. According to the study’s lead author, “Historically, the aspects of wine and sexuality have been well known since the time of Ancient Greece.” So as long as you’re not stinking drunk and keep to those two glasses a day, you’re going to be a tiger in bed. Also, who doesn’t love a study that gives you permission to drink more wine and more often?

You're funny af.

Whether you can tell a good joke or have that amazing ability to be able to laugh at yourself (which, in my humble opinion, is a very sexy quality), research has found that people who laugh a lot are good in bed. Which makes perfect sense to me. I’ve always felt that those people who don’t take things so seriously are really good in bed, because they know how to have a good time. If a partner can make me laugh and give me an orgasm, especially at the same time, it’s like hitting the jackpot.

Your favorite ice cream is coffee-flavored.

In a world of so many ice cream flavors to choose from, if you find yourself always eye-spying and ordering coffee ice cream, it definitely says something about your sexual prowess. A 2013 study by the Smell and Taste Institute in Chicago found that if your favorite ice cream is coffee, it’s a sign that you’re all about being in the moment; you don’t care about yesterday or tomorrow. All you care about is the here and now; being really present during sex makes you one hell of a lover.

The INSIDER Summary:

• Becca Siegel and Dan Gold are a couple that's traveling the world — but not together.
• They match their travel photos side by side to compare their surroundings.
• They said the key to making a long distance relationship work is understanding and communication.

Becca Siegel and Dan Gold share a passion for travel photography — a pursuit that continues to lead them to different parts of the world. But it also has a way of bringing the couple together.

Through their Half Half Travel Instagram account, Siegel and Gold combine photos of their respective locations, and even show themselves arm in arm on two different continents with a bit of Photoshop magic. While paying tribute to their individual adventures, the photos fuse their experiences into a narrative that transcends the thousands of miles between them.

Dan Gold and Becca Siegel met on the dating app Bumble in December 2015, and have been together since.

Siegel lived abroad in Hong Kong and China and is now based in New York while traveling on her own.

Gold is traveling with Remote Year, a program that brings entrepreneurs together to work and live in a different city each month.

The INSIDER Summary:

• Don't take your partner for granted. Remember the little things and be your best self for them.
• Disagreeing is normal, but respect is key.
• If you're going through a rough patch, get help from a counselor.

Weddings can be wonderful opportunities to celebrate your love with family and friends (and eat delicious cake). The real work begins, though, after the party ends.

Building a strong marriage requires conscious effort that isn't always easy to put in, but it's safe to say that the resulting happiness is worth a bit of toil.

Rachel Sussman, a therapist in New York City who specializes in relationships and couples counseling, shared five ways you can make your marriage stronger.

Perform small acts of kindness

Buy their favorite dessert on your way home, memorize their coffee order, or pick up the dry cleaning. A little bit goes a long way.

"It's really those little things that make you feel like 'Wow, this person really cares about me, this person has my back,'" said Sussman.

Be your best self

Sussman said that many people take their partners for granted, which can lead to hurt feelings.

"I'm really big on telling couples that you're very lucky, that you found this person that you love and that you have to cherish them," she said. "Just like a job that you love — if you don't want to get fired, you have to go to work every single day and be your best possible self."

Check in when you're going out

Having your own friends and activities is important, but you don't have to shut your partner out completely.

"A lot of the complaints I hear from people is that when their partner goes out with their friends they disappear," she said. "It's not like you've got to be texting them every second, but it's okay to say 'I miss you' or 'Hope you're having a great night, should be home by midnight.'"

Disagree respectfully

Arguments happen. The key is to argue while respecting your partner's point of view.

"Couples can certainly have a different opinion in something — you have to just be respectful," she said. "Like, 'Wow, I never really thought of it like that before,' or 'That's an interesting perspective, it's not necessarily my perspective, but ... I'll think about it, and I'd like you to think about my perspective too.'"

Seek help during rough patches

If you can't work things out and it's taking a toll on your relationship, getting a neutral third party involved can help resolve recurring issues.

"The problem with a rough patch is unless you work on it, it just gets rougher and rougher," said Sussman. "If you feel like you're in a rough patch, things aren't going well, go have a couple of sessions with a counselor. The counselor might help you flesh out what's going on and put you to a better path."

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The INSIDER Summary: 

• During a Jewish marriage ceremony, the couple crushes a glass.
  
• It's meant to be a moment of remembrance for the destruction of the Jewish temples.
• The glass also has several symbolic meanings associated with the wedding.
  
• In the past few years, the practice of shouting "mazal tov!" after they break the glass has elicited some controversy.

The Jewish wedding is a finely detailed process, with hundreds of different customs and traditions.

One of the most iconic ones is breaking a glass.

At some point during the marriage ceremony (the exact point varies between different traditions, but usually during the end), a glass wrapped in cloth is placed on the ground under the chuppah, or bridal canopy. One member of the couple stomps on it, and the congregation shouts "mazal tov!" in congratulations.

The reason Jews break a glass during the wedding ceremony is to remember two of the most important and tragic events of Jewish history: the destruction of the Jewish temples. In an otherwise joyous occasion, it's a ritual that tempers that happiness and allows for a moment of reflection.

"We perform a number of actions to keep the Temple in our collective consciousness,"writes Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff in "Will Jew Marry Me?: A Guide to Dating, Relationships, Love, and Marriage." "One of them is breaking the glass under the chuppah."

The tradition dates back to at least the fourth century CE.

The oldest reference to breaking glass during a wedding in Jewish literature is in the Talmud, an important Jewish legal text. In an esoteric discussion among rabbis about happiness and solemnity during prayer, there's a story of a rabbi who hosts a wedding for his son.

During the wedding, he sees the attending rabbis are excessively joyous, so he gets an expensive cup, breaks it in front of them, and they become sad.

It's a cryptic story. Why make the wedding guests sad? One explanation offered in the Talmud is to make sure they don't get too carried away in their merriment and end up sinning.

The more generally understood reason is that it all refers to a verse from Psalm 137, often recited before breaking the glass, which values keeping "Jerusalem in memory even at the happiest hour."

The memory isn't a happy one.

Two of the most important events in Jewish history are the destructions of the first and second temples in Jerusalem.

In Judaism, the temple is supposed to be the physical focal point of faith and worship. The first one was destroyed by the Neo-Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II. It was replaced by a second temple at around 530 BCE, while Jerusalem was occupied by the Persian Empire, and then destroyed in 70 CE by the Roman army. Now, the only accessible remains are a small section of its outer western wall.

Breaking the glass is supposed to recall the destruction of the temples. It's a way of remembering the tragedy of Jerusalem "even at the happiest hour"— that is to say, your wedding.

For the same reason, weddings are prohibited, according to Jewish custom, in the three weeks leading up to Tisha b'Av, the date on the Jewish calendar when both temples were destroyed.

Breaking the glass also recalls breaking the tablets.

There's another Biblical reason for breaking glass, according to Hajioff.

In the Jewish tradition, God giving the Torah to the Jewish people at Mount Sinai is understood to be a kind of metaphorical marriage ceremony, where God is married to the Jewish people.

In that context, breaking the glass resembles the passage in Exodus when Moses comes down from Mount Sinai and, seeing the Jewish people worshiping the Golden Calf, broke the first set of tablets God gave him.

"Since the giving of the Torah to the Jewish people was the marriage between God and the Jewish people, the breaking of the glass recalls this first-ever tragedy that occurred to our people at Mount Sinai," Hajioff writes.

For some Jews, breaking glass was used to keep demons away.

In Eastern Europe, the idea of demons associated with different sins became popular in Jewish life. People were thought to be particularly susceptible to demonic possession and curses during rites of passage, like circumcision ceremonies and weddings.

Shattering glass, some scholars suggest, would keep demons away. It would frighten them with a loud noise, or otherwise confuse them into thinking it was an event of mourning, not of celebration.

Glass itself is deeply symbolic.

Anything that's fragile could be shattered, so why glass?

Hajioff writes that glass is shattered rather than, say, ceramic or fine china because it can be remelted and reblown.

"Similarly, we humans can have moments where we are 'broken' or even 'shattered,'" Hajioff writes. "Like glass we can reform as new beings if need be. So we break glass because it recalls our mortality but also the divine promise of immortality of the soul."

Usually the actual glass the couple crushes is a cup used earlier in the ceremony, when a blessing is said over a glass of wine.

Sometimes a plate is used as the glass. It's thought to be a reference to a separate tradition of breaking a plate when a binding contract is sealed, symbolizing its irreversibility. It's also traditional to break a plate following an engagement agreement between the couple.

After the plate is broken, people shout "mazal tov!"— but that's become controversial in recent years.

Right after the glass is broken, the congregation yells out "mazal tov" to wish the couple congratulations, bringing the wedding out of its moment of somberness.

But in the past few years, the custom of saying "mazal tov" following breaking the glass has been criticized. In particular, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, one of the most influential Jewish legal scholars in the past 100 years, said in 2010 that the practice should be eliminated altogether "if not for the weight of Jewish tradition."

The reason, he said, is because many Jews are unaware of the reasoning behind breaking the glass — to remember the destruction of the temples — and therefore treat the moment with levity instead of sorrow.

Nowadays, Psalms 137 is often recited before breaking the glass to remind everyone about where the tradition comes from. During the happiest day in a couple's life, it's a moment to remember the weight of history that brought them there in the first place.

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