The INSIDER Summary: 

• Jumping over a broom is a wedding tradition.
• Today, it's most widespread among black communities in the United States.
• It reclaims a tradition of how slaves were married in America.
• There's a myth that the practice comes from tribes in Ghana.
• In fact, it all started in Wales, according to scholars.

Wedding traditions often have odd, unexpected, and occasionally even disturbing histories behind them.

The tradition of "jumping the broom" is no exception. Few wedding traditions have vexed historians and folklorists so much.

In its contemporary usage, couples jump over brooms as a sort of signifier of sweeping away the old to make way for a new beginning, and the tradition is most widespread among some black communities in the United States today. As the name of a 2011 romcom, it's even firmly part of the cultural lexicon.

But oddly enough, the tradition originated with Romani gypsies from Wales.

Slaves in America were married by jumping over a broom.

Slave marriages often weren't legally recognized, with tragic consequences — families could be separated at the whim of their owners. In the antebellum United States, "jumping the broom" was one ceremony where slaves were forced to marry one another, according tothe folklore scholar Alan Dundes.

Instead of an ordained minister legally conducting a wedding, there are accounts of slaveowners fetching a broom and having two slaves jump over it before they were considered married, according to Dundes.

There was some variance in the practice, according to the accounts that exist today. Sometimes the broom was laid on the ground and sometimes it was held in the air. Sometimes the couple jumped at the same time and sometimes they jumped separately. And sometimes they jumped over a single broom, and sometimes they each had their own broom.

Jumping the broom wasn't necessarily a tradition imposed on slaves by their masters, according to Tyler Parry, a historian of marriage rituals in the African diaspora. Some slaveowners forced their slaves to do it as a form of mockery. But at the same time, most historians think slave masters didn't care all that much about slave marriages "as long as they were bearing children," Parry told INSIDER. If anything, some slaveowners tended to give more showy weddings.

"When slaveowners married slaves, they would usually give certain slaves a very elaborate wedding," Parry said. "They used this to prove to northern abolitionists that they were being very benevolent, nice, and kind to their slaves. It became a form of apologetics."

By the 1830s and '40s, jumping the broom was a ritual that enslaved people understood as their own.

"They didn't entirely know the origins of it," Parry told INSIDER. But at some point, "slave communities recognized it as one way they could legitimately marry each other." 

After the American Civil War, former slaves "embraced more orthodox forms of marriage," according to Parry. But in some situations, it was still used. If a couple wanted to marry but a priest wasn't available, for example, they'd jump the broom and then wait for a clergy member to come into town a few weeks later to ratify the marriage.

At the same time, former slaves had complicated relationships with legal marriage in America. Marriage was important for legal recognition. But in some cases, they'd rely on their broomstick weddings.

"There were even cases where former slaves refused to be married, because they felt their broomstick wedding conducted 30 years ago was sufficient," Parry said. "They didn't need the government telling them they had to get remarried."

Centuries later, black communities in America reclaimed the slavery-era tradition for their own.

Dundes credits Alex Haley's book and miniseries "Roots" for the resurgence of the marriage ritual. It's featured in a scene in Haley's story.

It's part of a larger conversation about broom-jumping and marriage rituals that was taking place among black writers in the 1960s, according to Parry. The 1977 "Roots" miniseries, in particular, sparked a lot of interest in the black community in America at large.

In the 1980s and 1990s, Ebony and Jet magazines often wrote about the tradition. According to Parry, the interest in it culminated with the 1992 book "Broom Jumping: A Celebration of Love" by Danita Rountree Green.

"That would be the turning point in changing the African-American wedding into what we typically call 'heritage weddings,'" Parry said, which implement African and African-American traditions into wedding ceremonies.

But what does the tradition mean and where does it come from?

Many writers believe the myth — promoted in Green's book — that some form of jumping the broom was practiced in Africa, particularly by the ruling tribes in Ghana, and came to America with the Transatlantic Slave Trade. But there are no recorded instances of jumping the broom in Africa prior to the Transatlantic Slave Trade, according to Dundes. Parry, who's done more recent scholarly work on West African wedding traditions, agrees.

"I found nothing about jumping the broom there," Parry said. "It just doesn't exist."

The custom, bizarrely enough, most likely originated in Europe.

Jumping over a broom was a way to get married without the church.

The oldest records we have of jumping over a broom being used as a marriage rite dates to around 1700, in Wales.

Some people — particularly Roma, commonly known as "gypsies"— had marriages that weren't recognized by the church. They were married through non-church rituals. One of these rituals, practiced widely in Wales, was a "Besom Wedding," a besom being a type of broom.

In a Besom Wedding, a broom was placed aslant in a doorway for a couple to jump over. The couple had to jump over the broom without touching it to be married, according tothe folklore scholar C.W. Sullivan III. The marriage could also be annulled if the couple jumped over the broom again — but backwards.

By the beginning of the 18th century, broomstick weddings were widespread in Wales. Stepping over an object was, in fact, widespread throughout much of England. In one community, couples jumped over a "Petting Stone." But while these unions were accepted in Roma communities, Christian communities did not accept the validity of those marriages.

Elsewhere in Europe, jumping over the broom symbolized defying witchcraft.

For cultures where a belief in witches ran rampant, keeping those witches at bay was a priority. Marriages, in particular, were considered susceptible to witchcraft and curses. Take, for example, the "something old, something new" rhyme, which is meant to defend against the evil eye.

An article published in the Journal of the Gypsy Lore Society in 1908 or 1909, cited by Dundes, said that some Roma communities in Scotland and England in the 1800s practiced jumping over broomsticks as a wedding rite. The broomstick, the article wrote, is emblematic of evil and witches. Jumping over the broom symbolized wedded love defying evil and witchcraft.

The practice may also be related to a British version of carrying the bride over the threshold. For that tradition, in some British communities, brooms were placed at the entrance of the room the bride and groom would go into. Anyone who refused to step over it would be considered a witch.

It's through 18th century British migrants that the folk ritual made its way to the United States, argues Parry.

Jumping the broom in America is now common — and some Neo-Pagans in Europe do it as well.

Over time, the tradition of jumping the broom has been somewhat divorced from its Welsh roots. In America, its history has now come to be closely associated with slavery. But today, some people have reclaimed the tradition for their own.

"Jumping the broom matters for people," Parry said. "Millions of people still do it."

In some black communities in America, jumping the broom is a matter of debate. There's a discussion about whether the tradition is archaic and worth discarding as a relic of slavery, or worth maintaining and remembering.

"I'm starting to see that instead of just accepting that someone is going to jump the broom, there are actual conversations that people are having about whether or not they should," Parry said. "Especially when people are interracially married and are dating outside their race ... I've seen some online blogs and polls that ask, 'I'm marrying a white guy, should I jump the broom?'"

In Europe as well as the United States, there's also a parallel movement in Celtic and Neo-Pagan communities to renew the tradition "as a kind of homage to the British Isles," Parry said.

"While in America, we usually attach it to an African-American practice, if you go to Wales or Scotland, they would see it as much more about people who rejected Christianity," Parry said.

Over the centuries, jumping the broom has acquired a tangled history, one that touches on different lineages and traditions in different communities. Parry advocates for sharing it.

"What you'll actually find is people from different communities trying to claim the custom, which I think is kind of a problematic way of going about it," Parry said. "Because no one owns culture. Culture is just something that evolves and is shared across time."

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Relationships are hard, and a sentence worth of wisdom won't change that. But it can help.

Over on Reddit, thousands of people have answered the question, "What's the best relationship advice you have ever heard?" with insights that relate to everything from conflict to commitment.

Below, we've rounded up some of the best advice on that thread, so you can navigate your next first date or the next decade of your marriage with confidence.

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Don't let other people make or break your self-image

Writes cameronbates1: "Confidence isn't 'I know she likes me', confidence is 'I'll be okay whether she likes me or not.'

That wisdom is just as important once you're in a relationship. PM_ME_YOUR_PARTYPICS writes: "Don't go into a relationship expecting to be made happy. You have to be able to be happy on your own first."

Love isn't enough for a solid relationship

"Just because you love each other does not mean that you're good together long-term,"writes abqkat. "I love pizza, I loved my high school sweetheart - both make my stomach feel bad and I should have no part in either."

Meanwhile, ItAllBeganWithaBurst shares wisdom from their mom:

"The problem is that love isn't enough. You both have to be committed. There may be times you don't feel like you love each other, like you're so hurt or angry that you can't stand the sight of the other.

"But if you're both committed to the relationship, to the promises you made, then you'll work through it and you'll become stronger. Love without commitment just isn't enough."

Focus on your own relationship — not your friend's

"Practically everyone has a relationship that looks perfect from the outside looking in,"writes BrawndoTTM. "Unless you are EXTREMELY intimate with your friends, you will never have any idea what that couple's actual problems are until they break up and spill the beans."

Indeed, research suggests that people are notoriously poor judges of what others are thinking and feeling. That finding may extend to relationships — if you assume your friend and her husband are completely happy in their marriage, you're probably wrong.

Relationships — between spouses, parents and children, friends, coworkers, whoever — are complicated.

Don't make them more so by trying to adhere to vague principles like "be kinder" or "show more affection."

If you really want to get more out of your relationships, try setting concrete goals for yourself — i.e. you should be able to ask yourself, "Did I do X today?" with a simple yes or no.

At least, that's according to Gretchen Rubin, the bestselling author of multiple books on happiness and habit formation, including the 2012 book "Happier at Home."

Rubin visited the Business Insider office for a Facebook Live interview in April and shared the concrete strategy she and her family use to maintain positive relationships: warm greetings and farewells.

That is, every time someone comes or goes, everyone gives a sincere hello or goodbye.

"It's to really recognize that someone is coming or going," Rubin said. "It's really to look the person in the eye; say hello; have a little exchange; and to acknowledge the fact that they are coming or going."

Rubin said this habit works to strengthen relationships for a few reasons. As mentioned above, it's measurable. You either said hello to someone or you didn't.

What's more, it's hard to forget about it. You know exactly when you're supposed to make the connection — when someone enters or leaves a room. "It's not like, 'Do three good deeds throughout the day,' when you're like, 'Oh, I totally forgot," Rubin said.

Finally, warm greetings and farewells don't take much energy, money, or time — you're not, say, enrolling the entire family in a dance class.

Earlier in our interview, Rubin talked about the ways good relationships can make us happy — something both scientists and philosophers agree on. If you're trying to boost your happiness, your relationships are probably the first place you should look.

Rubin said that giving warm greetings and farewells have made a big difference in her household — but she added that you can use the same technique at work, with your colleagues.

"I am amazed at how much it creates a sense of connection and recognition," Rubin said. "And that's what we want from our relationships."

Watch the full interview here:

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Between 2011 and 2012, I went on 101 dates with 52 different men. It was all part of a social experiment that I'd devised while finishing my undergraduate degree at UC Berkeley.

At the time, I was a serial monogamist, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find the fairy-tale type love I'd seen in movies. So I decided to take a more "scientific" approach to romance.

The experiment involved going on a series of dates and documenting what made each one a success or a failure.

As the experiment progressed, dating got a lot easier. Specifically, I learned how to break the ice with acquaintances and total strangers, so that our first encounter wasn't awkward or stilted.

Today, I'm a dating coach, and I use the findings from my personal experiment to help my clients. Here are some of the tips I share with them when they ask about forging a connection on a first date.

1. Warm up your mouthpiece

Date #52 met me in my neighborhood. He drove 45 minutes to get there, which I thought was nice.

The problem? He barely spoke. It's hard to break the ice with someone who only gives you one-word answers.

I always tell my clients to warm up socially before a date. Go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Sign up for bootcamp at the gym. Heck, go to the grocery store and chat with the clerk if nothing else.

Whatever you do, get out of the house at least an hour or two before your date. It'll help calm your nerves and remind you that talking to new people isn't really all that scary.

2. Make the activity the ice-breaker

For date #53, I agreed to attend a Jiu-Jitsu class with a guy I'd met on OKCupid. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he had me mounted in a full straddle.

My blood was pumping, my endorphins were high, and we had full physical contact. All of that, and he didn't even have to buy me a drink!

The majority of my other dates had taken place in coffee shops and bars, but this one was different. We were laughing and having fun together right off the bat.

If you're comfortable choosing the venue for your first date, consider something where you'll be moving around and/or learning something new — like a dance class, for example.

You can even apply the same rule to meetings with professional contacts: Hold a walking meeting or go running together. It's a more natural way to bond than staring at each other over coffee cups.

3. Just be honest

Date #59 arrived late. We had an epically awkward hug, and then I stood in a funny position next to him while he ordered tea. But the worst part was that conversation fell flat because he was trying so hard to be sarcastic.

Don't try to be funny by saying things like, "Great outfit — did you go shopping in your mom's closet?" Instead, try asking a question like, "I've never seen a pair of shoes like those — where did you get them?"

As a general rule, I recommend avoiding the use of sarcasm on first dates (or first meetings with anyone) because it communicates insecurity and can make you seem mean. Remember: You don't have to be a stand-up comedian to impress the other person.

Emyli (EmLovz) is a San Francisco Dating Coach who offers worldwide one-on-one coaching solutions and online dating courses for men and women.

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say when you're not sure who should pay on a first date

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When you say "I do," it's a vow to share everything with your partner: Your fears, your dreams, your home, and even your money.

Deciding how to combine your finances with your partner's includes myriad practical aspects — Should we get a joint bank account? How much should we save for retirement?— but much of the money conversation comes down to a non-monetary factor: communication. Successful married couples make it a priority to talk about their finances and stay on the same page.

In the same vein, the No. 1 thing successful couples never do is hide their money habits from each other.

"Don't hide anything from your partner when it comes to your finances," says Pamela Capalad, CFP and founder of Brunch and Budget. "This includes secret stashes or big debt or a low credit score or a major tax liability. They will find out one way or another."

Successful marriages start with couples putting everything on the table.

"They're transparent, they're open, they're honest,"Michael McNulty, a Ph.D. at The Chicago Relationship Center and Master Trainer with The Gottman Institute, told Business Insider. "There's an ongoing dialogue, people know what's coming in, what's going out. There's a strong sense of trust."

As soon as they get married — or ideally, before — couples should show their entire hand to their partner. That means coming clean about their salaries, credit card debt, student loans, credit score, and anything else that might affect their financial future as a couple.

"They should sit down and have a very open and honest discussion about their money and what they have," Pam Horack, CFP and "Your Financial Mom" at Pathfinder Planning LLC, told Business Insider.

From there, it's imperative to keep the dialogue open so that both spouses feel comfortable talking about finances and bringing up related issues at any time.

This trust and openness becomes especially important when one party messes up. If one partner forgets to pay a bill or overspends on a silly purchase, they should be able to tell their spouse without fear of retaliation or judgement. No matter how big or small the transgression, the prospect of coming clean should never induce fear.

"If people can't trust each other around money, more than likely, they can't trust each other about a lot of things," McNulty explains. "Money is such a basic thing in a relationship, both partners depend upon it to survive. Trust is so very important, so couples that hide things from each other around money don't do well."

Understanding how your partner developed their philosophy toward money is also crucial in finding common ground and developing compromises that work for both of you. Was money tight when they were growing up? Had they been deceived about money in a prior relationship? Has handling money been an issue for them in the past?

"If you get those stories back and forth, often it's easier for partners to understand one another," McNulty says.

Talking about money is hard, and getting to a point of complete openness will likely require difficult conversations, but it's worthwhile to prevent financial issues from stretching into other areas of the relationship.

"There is a lot of embarrassment and shame when it comes to sharing your money situation," Capalad says. "It can represent mistakes you've made in the past, decisions you regret, and take a big toll on your self worth. These are all feelings you should be able to share with your spouse and work through together."

SEE ALSO: 12 things successful married couples do with their money

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In only four-and-a-half years, Tinder has become one of the most widely-used dating platforms in the world. But despite 1.6 billion swipes per day and over 20 billion total matches, the app has been unable to escape its reputation of being a sleazy platform for finding casual sex. 

This week, the matchmaking giant released the results of a recent survey it commissioned called "Modern Dating Myths."

The survey compared the app's users to traditional, offline daters. According to a report by The New York Times, the survey was administered to 7,072 Tinder users between the ages of 18 and 36, while a second survey was was administered to 2,502 offline daters between the ages of 18 and 35 by Morar Consulting.

Here's what we learned: 

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Online dating hasn't killed committed relationships

Tinder is out to squash the myth that online dating has led to a decline in exclusive, monogamous relationships.

According to their data, only 9% of men on Tinder report that maintaining a committed relationship is difficult, compared to 30% of offline daters. Their results also show that only 9% of Tinder users say it is difficult to commit to a relationship because of how many options there are, versus 42% of offline daters who give the same rationale. 

Tinder users are finding love more often than offline daters, but not by much

Tinder says the perception that its users aren't on the app to find love is misinformed. In fact, they report that 35% of online daters say "I love you" within the first three months of being in a relationship, with the number for offline daters being slightly lower at 30%. 

Interestingly, their surveys also discovered that men are 7% more likely, overall, to say "I love you" than women are. 

Tinder users are more likely to practice safe sex

Fully aware that there is surely a segment of its user base that views it as a hook-up app, Tinder surveyed daters on their safe sex practices, or lack thereof. 

They found that 70% of online daters report practicing safe sex most of the time or always, compared to 63% of offline daters. 

The survey also found that 67% of Tinder users always use a condom when having sex with a new partner for the first time, while the number for offline daters is 58%. 

We all know whether we're a morning or an evening person. Some of us prefer to get up early, whereas others like to stay up late into the night.

If you and your partner live together and you are at opposite ends of the scale, you might find some clashes in your routines.

To some extent our body clock — or chronotype — is determined by our environment, such as how much light we're exposed to. But what you might not know is there are physiological and biological differences to the two body clock types, and you have a genetic predisposition to one of them.

In other words, you and your partner may behave differently because you're wired that way.

These differences are clear in the levels of the two hormones involved in regulating sleep. Melatonin rises in the evening and helps prepare our bodies for sleep, whereas cortisol rises in the morning and helps us to wake up. For night owls, melatonin increases later in the day, while cortisol rises earlier in morning people.

From these biological differences our different habits and routines arise. This is fine if you live alone and you've worked out your own rhythm, but research has shown that if two people live together and their "sleep habits" don't match, conflicts can arise in their relationship.

There are well-known sleeping problems such as snoring and insomnia, which can keep one partner up late into the night, making them function poorly the next day and having a negative impact on their mood. But routine clashes can also be a problem. For example, if you're in bed by 10 p.m. and your partner comes in and wakes you up four hours later, or if you've had a late night and you get disturbed early in the morning by the radio and hairdryer.

Night owl/early bird relationships may not be destined to fail

According to sleep scientist Elise Facer-Childs, a Doctoral Researcher at the University of Birmingham, having a partner with a different chronotype to you isn't necessarily a disaster.

"I'd say there's two different ways you could look at it," she told Business Insider. "[Saying] 'We're different chronotypes so let's try and shift so we can be the same,' and maybe there'd be benefits to that, but on the other side of things, saying 'We're different chronotypes, but let's use that to our advantage.'"

For example, research often focuses on sleep, and the benefits of getting enough consistent hours of it to be healthy. However, what isn't so well researched is how it can be beneficial to be up at different times of the day.

"In terms of something like childcare or parenthood, you could definitely use something like different chronotypes as an advantage," said Facer-Childs. "If one parent much preferred the evening, and likes getting up later, and the other one much prefers the morning, you could see how that could really work."

Instead of battling over whose turn it is to get up in the morning, two people could be better suited to getting the kids up or feeding the baby at night depending on how their body clocks work.

On the other hand, studies have shown that sleeping alone can be better for you. However, there's a psychological impact if you and your partner choose to sleep separately.

"You don't associate sleeping in separate rooms as something good," Facer-Childs said. "So there's a weigh up between people actually preferring to sleep with their partner, even if it means their sleep is of poorer quality."

It's more or less common sense to try and be a bit quieter in the morning if your partner is still asleep, or avoid don't turning bright lights on if you come to bed later than them. However, as sleep seems to be something we take for granted, it might not be so obvious.

Facer-Childs said it's also important to work out whether the sleep is affecting the relationship or the other way around. Anxiety and stress can be linked to sleep disturbances, and sometimes these can be amplified when you're in a bad relationship. In those cases, it's something that needs to be looked at from the psychological perspective, as opposed to analyzing the sleep.

Like everything in a relationship, it's about balance

As for the perfect chronotype match, there is no such thing. Facer-Childs says it's not a disaster if you are the same chronotype and it's not a disaster if you're opposites.

"It's probably unrealistic to find your perfect chronotype because everything is a balance in a relationship," she said. "Just like you don't expect to find somebody that follows exactly the same working schedule, or has the same hobbies, we can't necessarily expect someone to have exactly the same sleeping patterns as us."

What's important, though, is talking and being open about it with your partner. If you hate their schedule, say so, and you can probably work something out. Just don't brush it off as a minor issue, because sleep is vital to our health.

"Sleep is extremely important and we do see it as a bit of a luxury in this day and age I think," Facer-Childs said. "The whole 'I'll sleep when I'm dead' motto. It's more like you don't sleep and you will be dead."

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Gretchen Rubin, author of "Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives," says strong relationships are the key to happiness. Following is a transcript of the video.

I was surprised by how much evidence there is that to be happy and even to be healthy we really need to have strong relationships with other people.

Well, what is the key to happiness? There's a couple different ways you can answer that question depending on how you frame it. But one thing, absolutely, that ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists would agree is that a key, and perhaps the key to happiness, is relationships.

We need to feel like we could confide, we have to feel like we belong, we have to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, we need to be able to give support, we need enduring intimate bonds.

So anytime you’re trying to think about how to be happier, thinking about relationships, whether it’s deepening relationships, or broadening relationships, is probably something that’s going to be really helpful for you in making yourself happier.

So, if you’re debating like should I go to all the trouble to go to my college reunion? Or should I spring for the expense of going to my friend’s wedding? Or should I bother to join that book group? Or does it make sense for me to spend a little time chatting with my coworkers instead of just sitting down and getting my work done?

If it’s something that’s going to strengthen a relationship, it’s probably something that’s going to boost your happiness in the long run. And I was just surprised by how consistently that shows up in sort of anyway you look at happiness and health this is a result that just, over and over, comes up.

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This is a guest post by Mrs. Mad Money Monster. She shares her story for us on relationships gone awry — both romantic and financial — but hey, at least she now gets some great blog posts out of it, eh? Take it away MMM … Thanks for divulging!

Have you ever considered how vastly different your life would be if you  made different decisions? It's interesting to think that every single decision you have ever made has led to this exact moment in your life. A single choice has the power to change EVERYTHING.

Consider your career. What if you decided to choose a different major back when you were an 18-year old freshman starting college? What about the town you live in? Could you have easily found yourself in rural Ohio instead of sunny Arizona had you decided the lower-paying job offer was a better fit?

Interestingly, I can pin point the single decision I made that changed the entire course of my life. This poor decision of mine was choosing a wrong relationship that almost destroyed my rags to riches adventure. Almost …

And with that, let me tell you a story – a story that encompasses the reason I'm not already financially independent. A story that outlines a series of unfortunate events that derailed my financial future.

After college, I chose to enter into a romantic relationship with someone because he was fun and smart and had it together. But, I should've realized he wasn't for me right away. Despite all the qualities I just listed, we had differing viewpoints on some of the big ticket items, one being money. I failed to take into consideration the way he handled his or, more accurately, the way he didn't handle his.

Therefore, this most fascinating failure story will focus on the importance of choosing your partner as it relates to your money. And trust me, the correlation is higher than you think!

The right side of the tracks 

I grew up as a poor kid on the right side of the tracks, which lit a fire inside me. I wanted to be successful at life. My parents didn't have high school diplomas, let alone college degrees. They worked hard but they still struggled to pay the bills. We lived in a trailer that was 8' wide by 50' long. No joke.

I never went hungry or worried that our house wouldn't be warm in the winter, but I always wanted more than to just get by. To say I was tired of heating my bath water on the stove because we didn't have a hot water heater would be an understatement. I wanted so much more out of my life. I wanted to be successful. Which in my young eyes meant a high-paying job and a big house. Full stop.

Fortunately, our tiny house was on the right side of the tracks. That meant I was in a top-notch school district, rubbing elbows with the kids that had more. A lot more. I wanted to grow up to be just like their parents. There was just one problem — I had no idea how to get there.

From rags to riches …

Shortly after high school graduation, I stumbled across someone who helped me realize I could still go to college, despite never taking the SATs. I knew a college education would be my ticket to becoming successful, so I did whatever it took to get that degree.

I worked full-time, I paid cash for classes, I ate and slept in my car between work and school, and I studied non-stop. When I was working at the factory, you better believe I had my earbuds in listening to my lectures over and over and over again!

It worked. I got that degree, and I graduated with honors. Within 6 months of graduation, I had a stellar offer on the table from a global pharmaceutical company. Boom. I jumped at that offer and continued on my fabulous rags to riches adventure!

All the right moves 

Not only did I snag that scientific degree and that high-paying job, I also started investing (heavily) for my financial future. I was making all the right moves. Until, I wasn't. Enter one bad relationship decision and the commencement of my financial spiral.

I was out with my sister one night when I met him. We really hit it off and he made me laugh. I love to laugh. In case you weren't aware of this, many girls are suckers for funny guys! I was hooked immediately and we started dating. We went out a few times, and then we went out a few more times. Before I knew it, we were in a full-fledged relationship. It just kinda happened.

The more time we spent together, however, the more I realized how different we were when it came to a lot of things. Particularly money. He was a spender — a flashy spender. I, on the other hand, was not. But no matter, we weren't engaged or married. Our money was completely separate. Why should I care how he spends his money?

[NOTE: The reason I should've cared is because relationships that *just kinda happen* still stand a chance to lead to marriage and all that it entails!]

Dining out and pool parties 

Fast forward five years, and there we were, spending money like fools. I was still saving and investing in my retirement accounts, but I had adopted his lax attitude when it came to spending. I was spending more and he was spending like crazy.

We were eating out almost every night and throwing extravagant parties to boot. Not only were we eating out and throwing parties, but we were also bank rolling our friends. It wasn't uncommon for us to go out with two other couples and pick up the tab for everyone.

The worst part, even though I was enjoying myself and enjoying the life we had built together, I knew I wasn't excited to marry him. And, I knew he felt the same way. Inertia took over. We had a house, we had pets, and we had a pool. What else could we ask for?

Unfortunately, the early progress I made on my rags to riches story had completely stalled because of our decision to keep going and going …

Ridiculous things I couldn't possibly give up 

He wasn't a bad guy. We just weren't on the same page. Hell, we weren't even in the same book.

Even though I knew I was in a bad (for me) relationship and should have moved on, there were things I enjoyed that I wasn't ready to give up. Hence, I stayed. Way too long.

Please enjoy this most ridiculous list of things I obviously valued more than my financial future!

• The big house– Remember, I grew up poor, so this nice, big, suburban house did wonders for validating my self worth. *Eye roll.*
• Our friends– Most of the people we saw regularly were actually HIS friends. We all know friends take sides after a break up, and I knew that his friends wouldn't take mine.
• We had pets!– Yep. We had pets that I didn't want to leave. How absurd is that?
• Holidays – One thing we had in common was making a big deal out of the holidays. We loved decorating like The Griswolds and having a kick-ass celebration for each and every holiday.
• The pool – Have I mentioned the pool? Yeah, we had an in-ground pool to die for. We put it in and it ran us upwards of $70,000 to do so. Needless to say, our house was The Place to be every weekend. There was a standing invitation for all of our friends. We had a blast. Future? What future? We were living in the moment!

Lost time 

What I didn't realize when I was enjoying our in-ground pool or nights out with our friends was that my most valuable asset was slipping away. My Time. And it was evaporating into the abyss.

I had worked my butt off to be the first one in my family to get a college degree and a high-paying, professional job. On top of those successes, I had also began investing and building wealth straight out of school. But there I was, counteracting all of the good I had accomplished by succumbing to inertia.

I didn't want to uproot my life and start over with nothing. No big house. No in-ground pool. Nothing to validate what I had accomplished. That was the image of success I had been chasing since a child. I was living my dreams! Except my success was a facade. I was living a lie. That realization was the catalyst for my reboot.

My financial descent 

My financial descent didn't really take shape until I decided to leave the nearly eight-year relationship that stole most of my 20s and stretched into my early 30s.

By the time I couldn't ignore our differences anymore and was forced to make a change, I was in a position where I was subsidizing my parents' monthly expenses to the tune of about $800 per month. Their trailer was falling apart, and I willingly took on the responsibility of buying a house for them to move into.

Regardless of my financial obligations, though,  I still needed to follow through with the break up. I ended up moving out just before Christmas that year. I left with my clothes, four lawn chairs, and my two cats.

So there I was, starting from scratch at 31 years old. The exact age I had imaged I would be having children with a wonderful husband in a big house. I can't tell you how depressed I was. And, I can't begin to tell you how many times I sat in my stark apartment with my coat on that winter. I wasn't sure I could afford to help my parents and pay the electric bill if I cranked the heat up past 60 degrees! That was my new life.

But it gets better …

Please enjoy yet another ridiculous list of things I did to derail my finances in the wake of the break up:

• I continued to help my parents – I continued to funnel about $800 per month to my parents to help with their monthly expenses. This was "no big deal" when I was in the bad relationship. Unfortunately, it was a BIG deal when I was on my own.
• I stopped contributing to my retirement accounts– Sadly, that's not a typo. Up until that point, I had been contributing 15% of my income into my company's 401(k) plan and maxing out a Roth IRA every year. This lull in contributions lasted a dreadful five years. That's right, prime investing years in my 30s were wasted! I didn't contribute a dime. Why? Because I needed the money for the apartment (see next bullet point). #Fool
• I leased an apartment– I could've easily moved in with my parents. They would've been thrilled to have me. But I was an emotional mess, and I viewed moving in with my parents in my early 30s as the epitome of failure. The kicker– My parents were living in the rental house I bought for them; essentially, I would've been living in MY OWN house!

Playing catch up 

Because it took me so long to move out and reboot my life, I'm not crafting this post from a stance of financial independence. Instead, I'm doing so late at night after working my full-time job and fulfilling all my obligations.

Why? Because I don't have the option of choosing a different path – yet.

Why? Because I chose poorly when it came to a romantic relationship after college. On top of that, I allowed inertia to take over for nearly eight years. I knew it was a wrong relationship for a LONG time and I allowed it to continue because I liked our friends and I liked living in our nice house. After all, we had an in-ground pool! Did I mention the pool?

Success comes in many forms 

Not surprisingly, it took me a long time to figure out that success comes in many different forms. I now know that the size of your house has nothing to do with the size of your net worth or your overall success. I also realize how important time is. Wasting a single day living a life that you don't value is a day you can never get back.

There are no do-overs.

I lost nearly a decade of crucial investing years because I was too busy partying it up to realize that my life and financial future were slipping away.

Thankfully, I got my act together, but not before turning 30. And after that, it took me quite a few years of emotional maintenance and self care before I found the right man. We've been married for a few years now and we're completely aligned on money. You better believe I made sure of it!

We're back to blazing our own trail towards financial independence. Of course, I could have already been there had I realized how important choosing the right partner was, but oh well. You live and learn. I'll still get there — it'll just be in a few years, as opposed to being a few years ago.

The danger of inertia 

No one is perfect, and that means that everyone makes poor decisions that affect their financial future. The difference between failure and success comes down to how quickly we recognize our poor decisions, and how quickly we take the steps to correct them.

Delaying action is the danger of inertia. It can literally cost you a fortune!

Lisa is a mother, scientist, and financial enthusiast. She founded Mad Money Monster, a personal finance blog chronicling her and her family's journey from doing money all wrong to doing it all right. She and her husband are known as Mr. & Mrs. Mad Money Monster on the site. They pride themselves as being Gen-Xers who have turned it all around and are now charting a course towards financial independence. Their goal is to inspire others just like them to take control of their financial future and realize it's not too late! Sign up to their blog and follow along here.

Enjoy these types of stories? Check out this financial confessional next: "We Used to Blow Our Money on Motorcycles & Airplanes"

SEE ALSO: A relationship therapist explains the biggest reason money ruins marriages

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Standing up for yourself is an art form. If you are too forward you may come off aggressive. But then if you're too timid, it's less likely you'll be taken seriously.

Psychologist Adam Galinsky says in a blog post on TED that how we act depends on our personal range of acceptable behaviour.

When we step outside this range, we associate it with punishment. For example, being dismissed, or shut out by whoever you're talking to, or even losing the raise you were working towards at work.

Being assertive is a key part of being successful. Nobody gets to where they want to be by letting people walk all over them. However, there are right ways and wrong ways of going about it.

We've come up with a list of seven tips from Galinsky, and other sources, to help you be confident and assertive at work. It might just help you out if you're trying to negotiate a tough situation or you feel someone might be trying to take advantage of you.

1. Stretch your 'range.'

Galinsky says your range of behaviour isn't fixed, it's dynamic. However, the amount you can stretch your range is determined by how much power you have. This comes in many forms, from your position in the company to the number of alternatives you have in any given situation.

Unfortunately, Galinsky says, the less power you have the more likely you will choose not to speak up, because the chances of punishment are greater. To tackle this, Galinsky says you need to find a way of expanding your power. A good way of doing this is by working out what gives you confidence.

"When you feel powerful, you feel confident and not fearful, and you can expand your own range,"he writes. "When other people see you as powerful, they grant you a wider range. So we should find and use tools that help expand our range of acceptable behaviour."

2. Know the difference between assertion and aggression.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, Dr Leon F. Seltzer says that it's important to stand up to someone in a way that won't be damaging to yourself or anyone else.

Assertiveness is a good thing. It lets others know what you need, how you feel, and shows you have confidence and self-respect. You show the other person your needs matter, and that your point of view needs to be taken into account.

However, aggression isn't a good thing. People who are aggressive act like their opinion or needs are more important. This means it comes across like you have no interest in the other person at all. In turn, whoever you're up against will be similarly defensive and belligerent and you won't get anywhere.

3. Think about how you're coming across.

If you feel yourself getting worked up, you might fall into the aggressive category.

"If you resolutely proclaim the righteousness of your position without attending to the other’s wants, needs, and feelings, you’ll be perceived as aggressive — regardless of what may be your conscious intention simply to stand up for yourself," Seltzer writes.

So keep in mind throughout the discussion what the other person wants to get from the situation. Seltzer recommends you consider where the other person is coming from by asking yourself what their thoughts and feelings might be.

Could you ask them what they want or can you work it out by putting yourself in their shoes? Remind yourself of this throughout the conversation, otherwise you could find yourself slipping.

You might want to think twice the next time you're considering looping your boss in on an email chain — according to studies by David De Cremer, a professor of management studies at the University of Cambridge's Judge Business School, this simple choice can actually harm your relationships with your colleagues.

De Cremer wrote about the results of his studies in Harvard Business Review, and, though the findings are preliminary and the academic paper is still under review, the findings were pretty interesting.

He performed six studies — using experiments and surveys — to see the impact CC'ing others into an email had on trust.

The more often study participants included a supervisor on an email to coworkers, the less trusting the coworkers were of them.

The experimental study contained 594 working adults. They read a scenario in which their coworkers always, sometimes, or almost never copied supervisors in when emailing them and then assessed how trusted the person would seem in each situation. The consistent feeling was that having a supervisor "always" copied in made the person significantly less trusted.

"This feeling automatically led them to infer that the organizational culture must be low in trust overall, fostering a culture of fear and low psychological safety," De Cremer said.

To give some context, if you were asking a colleague about something, and the person answered your email with your manager copied in, would you think the person did it on purpose? You might not think twice about it, or you might see it as your colleague trying to undermine you. By copying in a supervisor, the person could be suggesting you can't do your job without asking for help. If this happens a lot, you might start believing your colleague is trying to sabotage you.

The studies were performed on both Western and Chinese employees, and the results were fairly consistent. De Cremer said this showed that even in very different cultures, copying in supervisors could be seen as threatening.

Of course, sometimes you include a superior into an email thread because you want confirmation you're doing the right thing. You might not mean it to come across as a power play, but it can be misconstrued as such.

De Cremer found, however, that these well-meaning mistakes are rare. When employees imagined sending emails in which a supervisor was looped in, they usually knew the recipient would probably be offended by it. The level of mistrust they thought would occur was higher when the supervisor was always copied in than when it happened occasionally or never.

This suggests that if a coworker is copying in your boss very often, the person is probably doing it strategically.

In which case, when employees say they're feeling less trusted, there's probably good reason.

CC'ing can sometimes be done under the assumption that it creates "transparency" in the workplace. But having transparency as a goal probably isn't the "Holy Grail" that organisations think it is, De Cremer says. This is because companies get hung up on making transparent information exchanges the goal, without considering the repercussions.

"Such a perception makes employees suspicious that what they say or do can be used against them, especially when supervisors and higher authorities are included," De Cremer writes.

He recommends that if supervisors want to minimise the chance of distrust forming among their employees, then they can be explicit about at what stages they should and shouldn't be included in an email conversation.

So next time you're thinking of including your manager in on a private email exchange, have a think about why you're really doing it. Before you do anything, ask your colleague whether you should get some advice from higher-up. This way the person won't think you're up to something.

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Relationships are personal.

You can read 100 books about love and marriage and still be surprised to learn that your spouse never makes the bed, but has a weird thing about organizing the dishwasher.

That said, if you're planning or hoping to get hitched, you should probably be open to all the relationship advice you can get.

Business Insider has rounded up eight books that will help prepare you to tie the knot — books whose authors include a wedding reporter, a researcher who studies shame and vulnerability, and a Harvard negotiation professor.

Even if you pick up one or two, you'll be better equipped to weather the inevitable ups and downs of marriage.

SEE ALSO: 9 books that will give you something to talk about at any party you attend

'Happier at Home' by Gretchen Rubin

This bestselling book, published in 2012, is a follow-up to Rubin's first bestseller, "The Happiness Project."

Where "The Happiness Project" details Rubin's efforts to become generally happier, "Happier at Home" zeroes in on Rubin's attempts to create more fulfilling relationships with her family.

Each month for a year, Rubin took on a different "theme," such as marriage or parenthood, and worked on improving it. She combines scientific research with personal anecdotes about her husband and two daughters.

Some of the changes Rubin made include thanking her husband for doing chores and practicing "warm greetings and farewells" with both her husband and her daughters. It's all stuff you can easily replicate in your own relationships.

Find it here »

'Drop the Ball' by Tiffany Dufu

Tiffany Dufu spent her whole life getting straight As: at school, at home, and at work.

But when she went back to work after the birth of her first child — she was a launch team member to Lean In and is chief leadership officer to professional network Levo — she realized she wasn't going to keep getting top marks across the board without help.

"Drop the Ball" is the story of how Dufu and her husband reshaped the way they tackled the myriad tasks that go with caring for a family and household, starting with conversations and Excel spreadsheets and ending up with a stronger, happier relationship.

Stick around for the story about dry cleaning — it will make you think differently about how you get things done.

Find it here »

'Negotiating the Nonnegotiable' by Daniel Shapiro

Shapiro is the founder and director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program; he's led conflict-management initiatives in the Middle East and worked with leaders in government and business.

The thrust of "Negotiating the Nonnegotiable," published in 2016, is that appealing to rationality isn't always the best way to mend a rift. Instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict's more emotional underpinnings.

That's especially true when you're dealing with conflict in close personal relationships. One strategy Shapiro recommends in the book is using a metaphor to describe the relationship. That way, it's easier to talk about — and come up with solutions to — a tricky situation. 

Find it here »

When commoner Kate Middleton first met Britain's Prince Harry in college, she blushed and ran away.

This year, on April 29, Will and Kate will celebrate their sixth wedding anniversary.

In the intervening years, the couple weathered career shifts, a dramatic breakup, and a constant onslaught of invasive media attention. But they persevered, got engaged, and married in front of an audience of billions. Now, with two young children and an increasingly busy schedule of royal engagements, their relationship is continuing to evolve. And they still look as in love as ever.

In honor of their sixth year of marriage, here's a closer look back at William and Kate's fairytale love story.

Will and Kate met when they were students at St. Andrew's University in Scotland.

Kate has said that she "went bright red" and "scuttled off, feeling very shy" when she met the young prince for the first time.

Source: The Telegraph

But they became fast friends who eventually fell in love.

"We were friends for over a year first and it just sort of blossomed from then on," William once told the Telegraph."We just spent more time with each other and had a good giggle [...] and realized we shared the same interests."

Source: The Telegraph

Business Insider deputy editor Dave Smith proposed to his girlfriend of two years in December. She said yes! Below, Smith walks us through a traditional, but anguishing, part of the process: buying an engagement ring.

As told to Libby Kane.

I knew I wanted to get engaged about a year ago.

We were in Toronto visiting friends for New Year's Eve. We were at a party earlier, but we left the party so we could just be together as the ball dropped. We were talking and I just felt like I was so connected to her. In that moment, I thought, "This time next year I want us be to engaged. I'm ready for that, I think she's ready for that, we're at that point."

I started thinking about a ring around September, and did some basic research on Yelp and Google about where to go: just "best places to buy an engagement ring New York City."

I found one store that was family-owned. It had been around for 40 years, which I really did like, and it didn't seem like a franchise or a chain. It's one store that's been in New York City, handed down from generation to generation, and has a master jeweler on site. As a non-jewelry person, that made me feel more comfortable. It's called Greenwich St. Jewelers. I checked out their website and saw they could do custom stuff, and I was thinking I would go down that route. I could have gotten a really nice traditional ring, but she doesn't really like traditional styles.

My girlfriend — fiancée! — has a Pinterest page and one of her boards is jewelry, and a lot of it is rings. I saved a lot of those images to my phone, just to give the jewelers an idea.

Throughout the entire relationship, we've done everything together: saying I love you, moving in together, all those decisions we made together. This part was something I had to do myself. I did see some people shopping for rings together, but it's not what I wanted to do. I wanted the element of surprise. I didn't even want to ask, "So what's your ring size?" and I didn't know what ring to even take from her if I were to take one, so I didn't. This jeweler, and I think most jewelers, was like, 'If it doesn't fit, you can come back. We'll do it right on site, it takes no time.'

I have no experience jewelry shopping at all. I've never bought myself jewelry, even. As a teenager I got a Fossil watch as like a Bar Mitzvah gift or something. I had no taste in jewelry. No idea what to do.

I worked with this one woman, Amanda, who was really great. She knew everything about jewelry. I explained to her, "I'm a noob at this, I don't know anything — here are some pictures I got for us to work with." The shape that we settled on is different from most other rings. It's called a Marquise diamond.

Since it was custom, there was stuff like getting the right diamond itself. Some are shaped a little differently, some are a little wider, some a little narrower, some have different clarity and qualities I needed to go through. We had to figure out the color, the band, the shape. When you're looking at diamonds on a tweezer, and you don't know much about clarity and stuff like that, you're just trying to go for something that looks good. If you're paying thousands of dollars for it, which you are, you want something that doesn't feel cheap, but it's so hard to tell.

You want the ring to match her. Do you think she would be really pissed if you spent this much money? Do you think she'd be happy with this ring color or size or whatever? Is she the kind that would care a lot about the authenticity of the ring? Would she need the certificates? Because you can go cheaper if you get some elements that aren't certified. You can go for more unique styles or go for a slightly more expensive diamond, which is what I did in this case.

I went back about five or six times over a couple of months. It took a lot longer than I thought. That was the one thing I was surprised with. My fiancée was taking French classes on Wednesday nights, so every Wednesday I would tell her, "Oh I'm playing video games." But I was at the jeweler.

I went above and beyond my budget. I'd asked Amanda, the jeweler who helped me throughout this process: "What's normal here? I'd heard something like a few months' salary? A few paychecks? Do you have any advice with that?" I just didn't know, and I didn't want to seem cheap, but I also wanted to give her something that she deserved because I really do love her.

Amanda said that whole few months' salary thing is total bull. It's whatever you feel comfortable with. That's the bottom line. I had some savings. We've both watched movies and TV shows where people get married and you see the ring, and how much the guy is spending, and my fiancée had said to me on so many occasions, "If you spent that much money I would kill you." Because in the future it's going to be our money. So I do want to spend because she's worth it, but I don't want to piss her off.

I was just going with what I felt comfortable with. I felt comfortable at the store, I felt comfortable with this jeweler. I felt like she was leading me in the right direction, not like I was being taken advantage of. So if it ended up costing an extra few thousand dollars, it's just money. We all live once.

As a guy, you can be as macho as you want, but it's freaky to go shopping for a ring. It really is. It's symbolizing the end of your single life and the beginning of your life with this person. You don't want to f--k it up. It's scary.

You pay for half of it when you fully design the ring and put in the order, then you pay for the other half when it's ready and you come pick it up. I guess this would have showed up in two different bank statements. I only show her the statements when we're going through bills for the month and I tell her what she owes, because I get the bills for rent and utilities and everything like that, and she just Venmos me. But how would you hide it? I don't know.

If I didn't trust Amanda, I would have just gone somewhere else. There are a million bajillion jewelry stores. Even though it's not totally comfortable taking out your wallet and paying for these things, you can be more comfortable if you feel like you did everything you can to make sure it's the ring you wanted.

I wanted to make sure I felt comfortable, because if I felt like I was off the rails here, even though it's for her, I would have felt weird about giving it to her. I would have felt weird about doing the whole engagement. You want to start it off on the right foot. Being engaged — as my brother, my parents, and everyone says — is a party, but for you. You want everything to be as right as possible.

The jeweler told me to come back after the proposal and we'd have champagne, and then do the insurance stuff, which covers a lifetime in case any of the diamonds fall off or anything. I don't wear anything that costs thousands of dollars, so it's very scary prospect.

They called me in early December to pick it up. I ran home and was trying to find a hiding place. The surprise is really hard, because you know she could go anywhere in the apartment. I hid it in the very back of my sock drawer inside of a hat. When she wasn't there, I practiced putting the ring box in and out of my jacket.

I put a lot of thought into the actual surprise of it. She was totally surprised, and it was totally worth it, just watching her gears work as I stopped her in the street right in front of the place where we met. Just watching that reaction was totally worth the surprise, and the angst and everything that I had been through by myself, keeping the secret from her, doing all this planning to get the ring, to find the right one, to buy it, to hide it from her, to plan the restaurant visit and then walk past the place where we met.

She's ecstatic about it. She loves the ring.

Have you purchased an engagement ring? We want to hear your story. Email yourmoney@businessinsider.com. Anonymity can be considered.

SEE ALSO: 8 money conversations every couple should have before getting engaged

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You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince (or princess). Even celebrities know that. Unfortunately for them, they don't get to forget about those frogs as easily as regular folks might. 

With the paparazzi, the internet, and the many gossip magazines out there, their old flings will never die. But just because they won't die, doesn't mean they won't be forgotten from time to time. 

Here are 25 celebrity relationships you've probably forgotten about by now. 

Keira Knightley and Jamie Dornan

Knightley, who was starring in "Pirates of the Caribbean" at the time,dated Dornan back in the early 2000s. 

Well before the name Christian Grey had ever been thought up, Dornan was just a male model, a nobody, really, compared to the international movie star he was dating. That kind of pressure is what eventually led to their break up after two years of dating.

"There is a big pressure when you go out with someone such as Keira,"Jamie told the Daily Mirror in 2006, after they broke up. "The man is meant to be the alpha in the relationship on the money and power front, and clearly I was not. You feel like you have to be dominant in other areas and that causes problems..." 

Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively

From May to August 2011, these two gorgeous actors couldn't get enough of each other. They were spotted all over Europe holding hands and were seen together stateside before they ended their summer of love. 

These infamously private stars never went on (or off) the record about their relationship, but it's all history now anyway. By October, Blake had started a relationship with her now husband, Ryan Reynolds.  

Melissa Joan Hart and Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds was cast to work alongside Hart in the 1996 movie "Sabrina The Teenage Witch," which is where their fling started. According to Hart, Reynolds was smitten and even gave her a nice watch on the last day of shooting. 

"He was 17 and I was, like, 19. I was like, 'You're too young for me,'"she told Chelsea Handler in 2013. "But I wasn't sure so I just grabbed him and started kissing him. You get a piece of jewelry like that, you gotta make out with the guy!"

Things didn't end up going any further because Hart had another boyfriend at the time, but she admitted recently that that might have been a mistake.

"We were smitten and cute. He was adorable. He was a really nice guy," she said on Australia's "Studio 10" talk show in March 2017. "I had a boyfriend at the time. [He] probably would have been a great boyfriend. And I didn’t end up with the other guy, so maybe I should have taken a chance!”

The 21st century is the age of living single.

Today, the number of single adults in the U.S. – and many other nations around the world – is unprecedented.

And the numbers don’t just say people are staying single longer before settling down. More are staying single for life.

A 2014 Pew Report estimates that by the time today’s young adults reach the age of 50, about one in four of them will have never married.

The ascendancy of single living has left some in a panic. US News & World Report, for example, cautioned that Americans think the country’s moral values are bad and getting worse, and one of the top reasons for their concern is the large number of people remaining single.

But instead of fretting, maybe we should celebrate.

I’m a social scientist, and I’ve spent the past two decades researching and writing about single people. I’ve found that the rise of single living is a boon to our cities and towns and communities, our relatives and friends and neighbors. This trend has the chance to redefine the traditional meaning – and confines – of home, family and community.

Ties that bind

For years, communities across the country have been organized by clusters of nuclear families living in suburban homes. But there are some signs that this arrangement isn’t working out so well.

These houses are often too isolating– too far from work and from one another. According to a national survey ongoing since 1974, Americans have never been less likely to be friends with their neighbors than they are now, with neighborliness lowest in the suburbs.

But studies have also shown that single people are bucking those trends. For example, they are more likely than married people to encourage, help, and socialize with their friends and neighbors. They are also more likely to visit, support, advise, and stay in touch with their siblings and parents.

In fact, people who live alone are often the life of their cities and towns. They tend to participate in more civic groups and public events, enroll in more art and music classes, and go out to dinner more often than people who live with others. Single people, regardless of whether they live alone or with others, also volunteer more for social service organizations, educational groups, hospitals, and organizations devoted to the arts than people who are married.

In contrast, when couples move in together or get married, they tend to become more insular, even if they don’t have children.

Building strength and resilience

Unfortunately, single life continues to be stigmatized, with single people routinely stereotyped as less secure and more self-centered than married people. They’re said to die sooner, alone and sad.

Yet studies of people who live alone typically find that most are doing just fine; they don’t feel isolated, nor are they sad and lonely.

Reports of the early death of single people have also been greatly exaggerated, as have claims that marriage transforms miserable, sickly single people into happy and healthy spouses.

In some significant ways, it’s the single people who are doing particularly well.

For example, people with more diversified relationship portfolios tend to be more satisfied with their lives. In contrast, the insularity of couples who move in together or get married can leave them vulnerable to poorer mental health.

Studies have shown that people who stay single develop more confidence in their own opinions and undergo more personal growth and development than people who marry. For example, they value meaningful work more than married people do. They may also have more opportunities to enjoy the solitude that many of them savor.

Redefining the family and home

Married people often put their spouse (and, for some, kids) at the center of their lives. That’s what they’re expected to do, and often it’s also what they want to do.

But single people are expanding the traditional boundaries of family. The people they care about the most might include family in the traditional sense. But they’ll also loop in friends, ex-partners and mentors. It’s a bigger, more inclusive family of people who matter.

For many single people, single-family suburban homes aren’t going to offer them the balance between sociability and solitude that they crave. They are instead finding or creating a variety of different lifespaces.

Sometimes you’ll see 21st-century variations of traditional arrangements, like multi-generational households that allow for privacy and independence as well as social interaction. Others – and not just the very young – are living with their friends or other families of choice.

Those who cherish their alone time will often choose to live alone. Some have committed romantic relationships but choose to live in places of their own, a lifestyle of “living apart together.”

Some of the most fascinating innovations are pursued by people who seek both solitude and easy sociability. These individuals might move into their own apartment, but it’s in a building or neighborhood where friends and family are already living. They might buy a duplex with a close friend, or explore cohousing communities or pocket neighborhoods, which are communities of small homes clustered around shared spaces such as courtyards or gardens.

Single parents are also innovating. Single mothers, for example, can go to CoAbode to try to find other single mothers with whom they can share a home and a life. Other single people might want to raise children with the full support of another parent. Now they can look for a partner in parenting — with no expectations for romance or marriage — at websites such as Family by Design and Modamily.

As the potential for living a full and meaningful single life becomes more widely known, living single will become more of a genuine choice. And when living single is a real choice, then getting married will be, too. Fewer people will marry as a way of fleeing single life or simply doing what they are expected to do, and more will choose it because it’s what they really want.

If current trends continue, successive generations will have unprecedented opportunities to pursue the life that suits them best, rather than the one that is prescribed.

SEE ALSO: 7 ways being single influences your success

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Whether you're a morning person or not, there seems to be a universal reluctance to greet people first thing. It's very unlikely you meet a person who enjoys saying hello to each one of their coworkers with a smile every morning without fail.

If you do know this person, you probably think they're weird.

However, in a post on the career advice blog Jobacle, Andrew G. Rosen argues that we're actually missing out by being reluctant to greet each other. He says there are several reasons why you should start the day right, regardless of whether you enjoy the early start or not.

Sam Sommers, a teacher and researcher of social psychology at Tufts University in Medford, Massachusetts, also argues about the power of hello in a blog post on Psychology Today. He writes that research has shown it's the little things that make a big difference in social interaction. For example, smiling is contagious, and employees who smile more have customers who report higher satisfaction. He recalls one of his students thanking him for taking the time to say hello and talk to the class before beginning his lectures.

Saying hello might feel a little awkward at first, but it is actually appreciated by people more than you might think.

So, here are some of the reasons to give "good morning" a try:

1. It's basic manners

Let's be honest, saying hello to people is just a courtesy — one you should have learned at nursery. Greetings should be as basic as "please" and "thank you" in our daily lives, Rosen argues. "These two little words also go a long way towards improving communication and the overall atmosphere," he says.

2. It humanises coworkers

You spend a lot of your time at work, so why not get to know those around you? Rather than seeing your coworkers as other cogs in the machine, get to know them as people, even if it's just for a few seconds in the morning. You might like them more than you think.

3. It creates a more democratic environment

If everyone from the bottom all the way up to the CEO says hello to each other, it gives the impression of a more equal workplace where everyone is valued.

4. It's quick

Even if the idea fills you with dread, saying hello only takes a couple of seconds, at most. If it's really that painful, it might signal a bigger issue.

5. It's free

It also won't cost you anything to give it a try.

6. You might get noticed yourself

Everyone wants to be recognised for the good things we do in our careers. Saying hello to people might get you noticed, and you might then get the recognition you deserve once people actually know who you are.

7. It reduces awkwardness

If you have to talk to someone later on in the day, it is significantly less awkward if you've already said hi when they walked in. Better communication leads to better work arrangements, and you might find a whole load of benefits to getting to know people better.

8. You might cheer someone up

Don't feel so arrogant that you might completely make someone's day, but we all appreciate a smile and a greeting now and then. This is especially true if we're having a rubbish day.

Sommers writes that the biggest obstacle people face with trying to form friendships is the fact we assume people aren't interested. In reality, almost everyone wants to interact with people from all walks of life. Saying hello, Sommers says, is a simple way of starting to break down these barriers.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• You don't have to pretend to like what your significant other does to be in love.
• You should be able to see things from their point of view and be able to have your own friends.
• These are the 8 things couples are doing to stay happy in love.

No, you don’t have to both unabashedly love the Packers, small batch whiskey or The Americans(but seriously, it’s so good) to be in a fulfilling relationship. But those couples who can’t get enough of each other? Well, they might not even realize it, but here are eight things they’re probably doing to keep those smiles on their faces.

When They’re Alone, They Listen to Each Other

Whether it’s an anecdote about a work email gone awry or an existential diatribe on string theory, happy couples listen to each other. Like really listen. They empathize and ask questions, even if it’s just about a silly typo in a subject line.

…But They Don’t Spend Every Waking Second Together

Even if they’re head-over-heels in love, sometimes some “me” time is necessary to recharge. And hey: A little absence makes the heart grow fonder. (Especially when that absence includes hanging out in PJs until 4 and watching The Devil Wears Prada.)

And They Have Their Own Friends

While having a bunch of mutual friends is great, couples that have their own friends establish independence outside the relationship. Getting into the needy zone can be toxic. (And Amy’s Tinder horror stories are always way more fun when it’s just the two of you.)

Breakups are hard, and getting over one is even harder.

Luckily, there are people all over the world that have been through one, and since they know how tough it can be they're ready to help.

A popular Quora thread asked people to share the first thing they did after a break up. While there may be psychologically proven ways to heal a broken heart, these answers are tried-and-true.

Here are 13 ways to get over a breakup according to Quora users. 

Hit the gym.

Quora user Nicolas Cole did one of the most stereotypical things a person can do after a breakup: go to the gym. Even though it's a cliché, he claimed that it helped him stay focused and cope.

"I did the most stereotypical thing a guy could do. I went hard in the gym," he wrote. "The daily discipline of it is what helped keep me focused on 'coping' in positive ways."

He wasn't the only user who found this trick helpful.

Write a book or start journaling.

Another user on Quora said that he finally did something he's always wanted to do. For Avish Kaushik that was writing a book.

"I started writing a book the very same day. I just started typing out the whole journey with her and planned to publish it as a book. It obviously won't be helpful for me to forget her, but then I realized 'let's just use it as an opportunity to achieve something,'" Kaushik wrote.

Other users found journaling or writing in a diary to be helpful. 

Do the things you love.

Quora user Christian Montes de Oca went back to the basics. Instead of picking up a new hobby, he decided to do all the things he never had time for while he was in a relationship.  

"The first thing I did — after all the thinking and crying and what not — even if it sounds cliché, was to go out with my guy friends and do guy stuff. Watch football, drink beer, go to the clubs and just hang around," de Oca said. "Many times in my relationship I ‘had’ to reject some previous invitations from friends, so this was the perfect time to get back on track."

When it comes to being in a relationship, there are certain things that you should know about your partner. For instance, you should know their hopes, their dreams... and their zodiac sign.

Someone's sign can be very revealing. Signs can suggest how a person might act or think, meaning they can be indicators of how jealous, controlling, or needy a partner might become. 

That's why we sought out Ophira Edut, one half of The AstroTwins duo and co-author of "How to Get Along With Anyone (Yes, Even That Person)," to help us understand what each sign is like when it comes to being in a relationship. Or, as she puts it, "where [each sign] might shoot themselves in the foot." 

Here are each sign's worst trait when it comes to love, as well as who they're most compatible with. 

ARIES: They think mostly of themselves.

Aries "can be impatient and selfish," Ophira said. 

Famous examples: Kirsten Stewart, Robert Downey Jr., and James Franco.

Compatible signs: Virgo or Scorpio

TAURUS: They can be stubborn and always need to be right.

"They can also have a fear of change," she said. 

Famous examples: Queen Elizabeth II, Channing Tatum, and George Clooney. 

Compatible partners: Libra or Sagittarius

GEMINI: They can be fickle.

"They’re never satisfied and always want another option. With their flirtatiousness they can seem untrustworthy, when really they’re just having a bit of fun," Ophira explained. 

Famous examples: Donald Trump, Kanye West, and Angelina Jolie. 

Compatible partners: Scorpio or Capricorn