The rise of social media has given birth to a new type of star: the influencer.

Many of these influencers have careers outside of social media, but they are famous for being really good at social media, particularly Instagram. These are people with tens or hundreds of thousands of followers checking out their photos, and who brands will often pay money to be associated with.

But part of what makes social-media influencers intriguing is that they let fans into their lives in a casual and intimate way. They aren't peering down at you from celebrity mountain like a Hollywood movie star. They are more like a friend, or perhaps someone you could even date.

But wait, could you?

Well, you might at least have a shot — it turns out a lot of influencers are active on dating apps. Dating app Hinge recently debuted the ability to link your Instagram to your profile, something you can also do on competitor Tinder as well. And in doing so, Hinge found out that some of its users have quite prominent Instagram followings.

Hinge put a list together for us of the 30 most eligible influencers, decided by who had a combination of activity on the app and a ton of Instagram followers. Here they are, along with links so you can actually find their particular profile if you want. Good luck!

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No. 30: Lauren Schramm

Work: Personal Trainer

Education: University of Pittsburgh

Influencer type: Fitness

Instagram handle: @laurenschrammfit

Followers: 27k

City: New York City

Here's her dating profile.

No. 29: Matt Weitz

Work: Client Financial Analyst at Marketing Werks

Education: DePaul University

Influencer type: Photographer

Instagram handle: @mattbweitz

Followers: 27k

City: Chicago

Here's his dating profile.

No. 28: Laura Stuart

Work: Laura Elizabeth Jewelry

Education: University of Santa Monica

Influencer type: Lifestyle

Instagram handle: @lauraelizabethjewelry

Followers: 13k

City: Austin

Here's her dating profile.

Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of "Anatomy of Love," put happy couples in long-term relationships into brain scanners. The results gave her an insight into what makes a relationship last.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A new study claims that millennials do not hook up as frequently or as casually as most people think.
• It also says that these men and women wish they had better examples and conversations about what healthy and respectful relationships look like from their parents. 
• The authors suggest that parents keep an open dialogue and encourage healthy relationship behaviors from the start.

If you're one of the people who wants to slam your head against a wall when you hear the term "hook-up culture" (me!), then a new survey released this week from the Harvard Graduate School of Education may be music to your ears. 

The report, called "Making Caring Common," found that not only do young adults not hook up nearly as much as older people and even their peers think they do, but that they are left wanting more resources and conversations on how to build real relationships. 

When adults and teenagers were asked what percent of 18- and 19-year-olds they think had more than one sexual partner, what percent had hooked up with more than 10 people in college, and what percent were dating casually, most responded that the amount for all three questions was probably about 50 to 70%. 

But they were way off. According to 2011 data from the Center for Disease Control, approximately 27% of 18- to 19-year-olds nationally (both in college and out) had more than one sexual partner in the previous year, and only 8% had four or more partners. According to a 2013 national survey, only 20% of students have hooked up more than 10 times by their senior year of college.

And, among 18- to 25-year-olds, only 8% reported casually dating with 67% reporting that they were dating exclusively, cohabiting, or were married and 25% reported having no relationship at all, according to a 2011 Child Trends study.

It may seem harmless to have this perception of a robust "hook-up culture" among young people, but the study also showed that the notion that all millennials want to do is hook up leaves them wanting better examples and more information about healthy relationships. 

In fact, 70% of 18 to 25-year-olds involved in the Harvard Graduate School of Education survey said they wished they had received more information from parents about the emotional side of relationships, including "how to have a more mature relationship" (38%), "how to deal with breakups" (36%), "how to avoid getting hurt in a relationship" (34%), or "how to begin a relationship" (27%).

This can not only hurt young adults in pursuing relationships, the study says, but can also inhibit them from identifying when a relationship isn't healthy. 

"Many parents may not see providing guidance on romantic relationships as their role, not know what to say, or feel hobbled in these conversations because of their own romantic failures," the study reads. "But relationship failures can generate as much wisdom as relationship successes, and all adults can distill their wisdom and share it in age-appropriate ways with teens and young adults."

The authors suggest that parents and teachers encourage a dialogue about healthy relationships and call out behaviors that can be harmful. 

"Helping young people develop the skills to maintain caring romantic relationships and treat those of different genders with dignity and respect also helps strengthen their ability to develop caring, responsible relationships at every stage of their lives and to grow into ethical adults, community members, and citizens."

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A study from the dating app Hinge shows that double-texting can increase a date's likelihood to respond. 
• The key is to wait four hours before the second text.
• Sending a second text even a week later increased the likelihood of a response. 
  

  ---

A watched phone never rings. 

That's what it can seem like, anyway, when you're waiting on someone you've gone on a date with to reply to your text. And while it's always tempting to send a second text while sitting in unanswered text purgatory, double-texting is pretty widely regarded as a lame thing to do. 

But, new data put out by the dating app Hinge this week shows that a double-text can actually be an effective way to get an answer from people: it's just all about the timing. 

The dating app, which chooses potential matches based on your Facebook friends, scanned the data from 300,000 US-based conversations using its app. Hinge found that the sweet spot for a double-text was about four hours; any sooner and you decreased the likelihood of a response back, but around that time, the chance of a response increased. Surprisingly, a double-text around four hours actually proved to be more effective over a 24-hour period than not double-texting. 

The benefits of double-texting goes even further, according to Hinge's data. If you wait an agonizing week and then give in and send a double-text then, your odds of the other person responding go from a 0.39% chance to a 12% chance. 

This data seems to make sense when you think about it. How many times have you been arms-deep in making dinner, out with friends or just plain not paying attention and missed a person's text? Sometimes a little nudge may be all that's needed.

While Hinge's team says it can't confirm if this double-texting data applies off of their dating app, it seems like enough reason to throw caution to the wind and give the conversation one more try. 

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Prince William (formally known as the Duke of Cambridge) married Kate Middleton in 2011. 
• But eagle-eyed royal family fans have noticed that he doesn't wear a wedding ring. 
• The simple reason why: He just doesn't like wearing jewelry.

After five years of marriage and two adorablechildren, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, William and Kate, still look like they're very much in love. But many observers have noticed something interesting about the couple: Despite their apparent matrimonial bliss, William has never worn a wedding ring.

It's true: Look through the many thousands of pictures of the royal couple online and you won't find a single one in which he's sporting a ring on his left hand.

Royal family fans need not fear — the lack of ring doesn't signal impending divorce. William just doesn't want to wear one. 

In fact, the royal family released a statement before the couple's 2011 wedding to confirm that William wouldn't wear a ring because of "personal preference,"Time reported. 

"It was something the couple discussed but Prince William isn't one for jewelry,"a Palace aide said. (No word on why he's averse to rings but always seems to be wearing a watch, however.)

A peek at the official wedding program reveals that William didn't even put on a ring during the ceremony. Kate was the only one who got a wedding band that day. 

William isn't the only male royal who eschews a wedding band. The Queen's husband, Prince Philip, doesn't wear one either — and a photo timeline of their marriage reveals that he hasn't for many years. 

But other male royals do wear a ring. The BBC reports that Prince Charles (William's father) wears a wedding ring to signify his second marriage. News photos show that Prince Andrew, Duke of York, wore one on his pinky before his divorce, and Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, still wears his. 

In short: Wedding rings aren't reliable predictors of marital success in this family. Men who have worn them (like Prince Charles and Prince Andrew) have gone through scandalous divorces. But Prince Philip, who doesn't wear one, has been married to the Queen for 69 years.

Here's hoping William and Kate enjoy a similarly long and happy matrimony — no matter who's wearing a ring.

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We all have our tiny handful of people that we bestow with the ironic but ultimate gesture of modern affection: talking to on the good ole’ fashioned phone.

Among my tiny handful is one of my best friends; when she calls and I’m not able to pick up, she leaves a full on conversation on my voicemail as if I’m on the other end of the phone.

If the voicemail cuts her off because she’s been talking for 6 minutes, she calls back and starts another message with, “Hey, something’s wrong with your voicemail, anyway, so then…”

This is an ordinary thing she does all the time.

What do you think these 4 things have in common?

• “He rests the TV remote on his belly, it’s cute.”
• “The way she takes forever to order exactly what she wants at a restaurant, and then ends up eating whatever I get anyway.”
• “My son’s laugh, I’d know that laugh anywhere!”
• “When she comes over she walks herself right into the kitchen and helps herself to whatever’s in the fridge or pantry while we talk. No annoyingly formal, “Do you mind if I…Is it okay if I grab,’ she just helps herself and we go on talking.”

These 4 things are all ordinary, too. They’re also all examples of what people say they appreciate, miss, or love MOST about the ones closest to them.

Does it surprise you that people connect most to the ordinary things about you?

Every day I listen to people talk about their lives, about the people in their lives.

Here are some things I NEVER hear:

• “I miss the way he got a 3.8 GPA in college.”
• “Her arms were just so perfectly toned when she rested a hand on her hip while posing for photos, that’s when I knew I loved her. I need those toned arms back so badly.”
• “The best thing about my daughter is that she earns so much money, it’s what makes me most proud as a parent.”

All those special accomplishments that you think make you so extraordinary and lovable?

I have to tell you something: nobody cares.

I know that sounds harsh, but I’m saying it with love. Because the reality is there are thousands upon thousands of people with degrees from Harvard, amazing bodies, beautiful homes, stamped out passports, tons of money, prestigious job titles, shiny awards and hundreds of other accolades that up the fancy.

But what people care deeply about and cherish and talk to their therapists most about and fall madly in love with you over is actually your particular combination of ordinary.

That’s what makes you so extraordinary, that’s what makes you so lovable, that’s what makes you so irreplaceable.

The other stuff has its place, so maybe it’s not fair to say that the people who care about you don’t care at all about your more quantifiable achievements, but those achievements are so so so incredibly secondary to your wonderfully ordinary qualities.

Still not convinced?

Think about someone you genuinely adore, and one thing you adore in particular about that person. I guarantee you that thing you just thought up isn’t on their resume. Why?

Because you don’t care about their resume, and they don’t care about yours.

So next time you get hung up on what you haven’t yet accomplished with your work, your body, your home, your ability to be perfectly charming in any social situation, and so on, please take a second to remember this:

People get hooked on the ordinary, it’s always what is most missed, loved and appreciated about a person. Always.

Real connection is born from enjoying the ordinary, in yourself and in others. So let yourself appreciate the ordinary parts of the people you’re about to meet, the people you already know and love, and of course, in yourself.

Normally I would take this part of the post to ask you to comment and tell me something ordinary you love about someone in your life, but what I’d like even more is if you just told that person directly instead (via text, obviously).

The best parts of life are hiding in plain sight, embrace the ordinary and I promise you’ll see them.

Katherine Schafler is an NYC-based psychotherapist, writer and speaker. For more of her work, join her newsletter community, read her blog, or follow her on Instagram.

SEE ALSO: 12 TED Talks that will teach you how to have healthy relationships

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A woman shared a photo on Instagram explaining her journey to loving her body.
• She also explained how her husband has been supportive and loving during that journey. 
• The photo and caption seemed to resonate with many who are on or have been on the same path. 

It's not always easy to be kind to ourselves, but one Instagram user is going viral for sharing how a healthy relationship can influence a positive view on your own body.

Instagram user who goes by Jazzy shared an adorable photo of herself in a flowery bikini holding hands with her husband on the beach. She captioned it with an inspirational note about learning to love her body as it is.

"I don't have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs to fast my body claps," she wrote. "But now I see I do have the 'perfect' body!"

Jazzy said that she's learned to see what her "born fit" husband sees in her body and began to love herself for all of the reasons that he does and more. 

"Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy," she wrote. "I love my body and I finally see why he does too!"

Here's her post in full:

Over the years this man has loved every curve, every roll, and every stretch mark on my body. I never understood why! How could he love something that isn't 'perfect'? How could a man who was 'born fit' love someone like me! I don't have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs to fast my body claps (lmao)!! But now I see I do have the 'perfect' body!! Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy!!! I love my body and I finally see why he does too!!

Her inspirational message resonated with commenters who shared their own struggles of coming to love their bodies. 

"This post made me so happy and gave me hope," one user wrote. "I know that there is someone who will love me no matter my size, but sometimes it doesnt seem that way. So thank you for sharing this!" 

"I also have a very fit husband, and I've always been very insecure about it," another said. "Especially when meeting all of his fitness friends for the first time. I feel like they expect someone equally as fit as him, so I'd always worry about it. I know he loves me and my curves, and I'm slowly accepting myself for all that I am! Thanks for the wise words!"

Jazzy's message is a good reminder that relationships become easier when you learn to love yourself first. 

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Most of us have exes and past crushes that we look at now and wonder what we ever saw in them.

And while it's easy to blame our attractions on Cupid, a new study making the rounds this week shows that we may be in more control of our romantic attractions than we like to believe. 

The study, called "Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility," asked people to look at photos of their current partner or past love they had recently broken up with, as researchers recorded their feelings.

Then, they asked people to think of positive or negative aspects of their current partner or past partner and researchers again took down their brain waves as they thought about these things.

The results of the study found that those who thought negative thoughts reported feeling less in love and attached to their partner. In turn, those who thought positive things about their partner felt more attachment.

Interestingly, in questionnaires filled out by participants before the study, many people answered that they felt they had no control over how much they loved their current partner or ex. But the study actually found that those same people could begin to control their feelings over time by thinking negative or positive thoughts. 

"Love regulation will benefit individuals and society because it could enhance positive effects and reduce negative effects of romantic love," the study reads. 

And this makes sense if you think about it: Don't you always feel a little better after complimenting your partner and a little better when you trash an ex over drinks?

And while more research is needed, maybe this is the reminder you don't need to trash your partner to your friends and cut them just a little bit of slack. Your relationship will thank you.

SEE ALSO: A marriage counselor explains when it's OK to lie to your partner — and when it isn't

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There is nothing easy about getting rejected by a potential partner.

It's embarrassing, it can bruise your ego, and it's disappointing. The future that you thought you might have with them has been ripped out of your hands and that is never going to feel good.

It's totally natural to want to comfort yourself in moments like these. No one will blame you if you have a little cry, lock yourself in your room for a night, and watch your sad movie of choice with some ice cream. And of course, you can cope in non-stereotypical ways too.

That comfort might be physically needed because the feeling of rejection can actually light up the part of the brain associated with physical pain. You're not only soothing your emotions, but your physical well-being. 

And while there's no "right" way to deal with rejection, there are a few wrong ones that can not only damage your emotions but put you on bad terms with the person who rejected you.

When I asked experts about this subject, the same answer came up fairly often: Don't take it personally. 

"When we are rejected it feels personal, but it usually has to do with many other factors; the person we are attracted to is not in a place for a relationship, the job interviewer had too many candidates, the publisher was looking for a different kind of book," psychologist Helen Odessky told INSIDER. "Taking it personally means, you blame yourself entirely for a situation that is two-sided. A better option is to look at it from the other sides point of view and consider it not a good fit." 

Taking it personally can be hard on a person's mental health because it's easy to blame yourself when someone turns you down. But, what I heard from so many people is that most of the time, rejection has little to nothing to do with you. 

Psychologist Devon Berkheiser told INSIDER that some solid reflection may be in order after a rejection, but the key is not to go overboard and think there is anything inherently wrong with you.

"Much of the time, rejection does not mean that there is anything wrong with you, but simply that you are not the exact fit that the other person was looking for," she said. "Just because you aren't right for somebody does not mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. At the same time, it may be worth taking an honest look at yourself and considering whether there are some changes that you may want to make, in order to make yourself a better partner."

In addition, one of the worst things you can do when rejected is allowing that aforementioned Netflix binge go on more than a few days, according to behaviorist Linda Williams. 

"The worst thing you can do when romantically rejected is to wallow in the rejection," she told INSIDER. 

And while all of these can potentially hurt your own mental health, trying to convince the person who rejected you that they made a mistake or getting angry with them can harm your relationship and ultimately make you feel worse. 

"After a rejection, continuing to pursue that person demonstrates poor boundaries," psychologist John Paul Garrison said. "Poor boundaries often suggest dysfunctional personality traits that stem from issues entirely unrelated to the romantic interest."

"One of the absolute worstthings to do when you are rejected is to insult the person who rejected you," said Michelene Wasil, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "That doesn't give you a free pass to be a hurtful a-hole. Take the rejection with dignity and learn from the experience."

Rejection is never going to feel good, but it's also never a dead-end. In the end, that person may actually be doing you a favor so you can find someone better suited to you, Bette Levy Alkazian, a psychotherapist, told INSIDER.

"In most cases, the rejection has nothing to do with you," she said.  "You are a perfect match for someone out there, just not that person."

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Millennials are more than twice as likely to get down on one knee while proposing than those over 44.
• They are also more likely to ask for a parent's permission.
  

It's not just you. There's a reason why you can't scroll through any of your social media feeds without encountering wedding photos around this time of year.

Eighty percent of of all weddings in the US occur between May and October, which means that wedding season is in full swing. 

JamesAllen.com, an online retailer of diamonds and custom engagement rings, surveyed 2,000 married adults in the US about their engagement experiences with some surprising results.

"Millennials have a reputation for shunning tradition, but our survey found that when it comes to proposals they’re actually the most conventional generation," said Oded Edelman, co-founder and CEO of JamesAllen.com.

Millennials are more than twice as likely to get down on one knee while proposing than those over 44.

The practice of kneeling when asking someone to marry you dates back to knights kneeling before their lords and courtly ladies in a traditional expression of supplication and reverence. It evokes an old-fashioned brand of chivalry that 80% of Americans think has gone out of style, but it appears to be making a resurgence among a younger crowd.

Sixty-three percent of millennials asked a parent's permission before proposing as opposed to 20% of those over 44.

Asking a father's permission to marry his daughter used to be an actual business transaction in the form of negotiating her dowry. Asking someone's family for their hand in marriage is more of a respectful nod to tradition than a necessity these days, but millennials continue to do it, anyway.

Unsurprisingly, couples between the ages of 18 and 34 are more than seven times more likely to share their engagement on social media.

While some traditional elements continue to stand the test of time, engagement announcements have evolved from newspaper announcements to photos with hashtags like #justengaged. 

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A man who is legally blind was able to see his wife walk down the aisle for the first time at a recreation of their wedding. 
  
• The recreation took place on their 15 year anniversary. 
• He was able to see thanks to special glasses.
• The couple is now helping to raise money to buy those glasses for others in need. 

We've all swooned at photos of grooms seeing their brides for the first time, but this one just might take the cake.

One New Hampshire man, who is legally blind, saw his wife clearly as she walked down the aisle at a recreation of their wedding on their 15th anniversary, something he missed at his first ceremony.

Andrew Airey donned a pair of eSight glasses for the first time during the wedding and was able to have almost 20/20 vision during the ceremony. Airey began losing his vision during his teen years and was diagnosed with Stargardt disease, a rare illness that causes vision loss. He has not been able to drive or even shave his own face and also missed seeing his wife Kelli Airey at their first wedding. 

A video by the company eSight showed Airey's emotional reaction as he put on the glasses for the first time and saw someone's face clearly for the first time in years. It also followed him through their second wedding day and showed Airey and his wife's romantic vows. They both said that they looked forward to a life full of new experiences together that Airey can fully take in. 

"We take our vision for granted," he said. "I call it 'the details of the day.' Which, that's what's often times missing, and lost and that's something that I'm really excited to see." 

"Celebrating 15 years of marriage with our second wedding is the perfect way to start fresh," his wife said during their vows. "I couldn't be more excited that your new glasses will give you back the ability to see the things you've missed for so long. And I can't wait to watch you see the many details of our daily adventures with our family."

The couple is also sharing the love with other families. They've set up a wedding registry and are asking that people, in lieu of gifts to them, donate eSight glasses to families that cannot afford them. 

Watch the emotional video below: 

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The sun is out, flowers are blooming, and your refrigerator is so cluttered with wedding invitations you can hardly find the handle.

There's nothing quite like wedding season to get you contemplating the next phase of your relationship. So you're probably wondering — let's just say theoretically— how might tying the knot affect my partner and I? Will it make us happier? Strengthen our relationship?

Aside from the enthusiastic friend or extended family member, you probably have loads of anecdotal evidence suggesting that the answers to both of those questions is yes. After all, thousands of Pinterest boards can't lie — or can they?

Interestingly, the bulk of sociological research on this topic actually suggests that it isn't marriage that's the key to lasting happiness, but something far more basic. It all comes down to finding a romantic partner who also happens to be the person you'd call your best friend.

In a recent study of thousands of couples on marriage and happiness, John Helliwell, a University of British Columbia economist and the co-author of the UN World Happiness Report, found evidence suggesting that the most important factor for a lasting, happy relationship was whether or not you see your romantic partner as your closest friend.

Helliwell and his research team looked at data from two large British surveys and the Gallup World Poll. After accounting for couples' age, gender, income, and health conditions, they found that couples who were best friends and lived together were just as happy as couples who were best friends and married.

In other words, marriage didn't appear to matter much at all.

Here's a chart from the study comparing the "life satisfaction" of couples who were married (blue bars) with couples who lived together but were unmarried (red bars). Couples who said their partner was their best friend are on the left.

"What immediately intrigued me about the results was to rethink marriage as a whole," Helliwell recently told the New York Times.

Other research seems to support Helliwell's findings.

For their 2012 survey of American couples, researchers found that couples who lived together but were not married had higher self-esteem and were happier overall than their married counterparts.

In a recent blog post for Psychology Today, social psychologist Bella DePaulo took a look at a large 2012 review of more than 20 studies of married and divorced couples. Initially, the researchers concluded that marriage made people happier. But taking a closer look at the numbers, DePaulo came to the opposite conclusion.

"Except for that initial short-lived honeymoon effect for life satisfaction," she writes, "getting married did not result in getting happier or more satisfied. In fact, for life satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, the trajectories over time headed in the less satisfied direction."

Other studies back up DePaulo's assertion: A 2011 review of the impact on happiness of major life events found that couples who got married generally felt less happy and less satisfied with their lives over time.

Helliwell prefers to look on the bright side of these findings.

"Maybe what is really important [in a relationship] is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life," he said.

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In a world where people are seen as swipes in a "game" of Tinder, it can be hard to know where a game of "Candy Crush" ends and the quest for a relationship begins. 

And while studies show that millennials are not necessarily hooking up more than the generation before them, the way that they are accessing potential romantic relationships is unprecedented because of online dating apps and social media. 

About 20% of 18- to 24-year-olds now say they are using mobile dating apps, according to Pew Research, which is up substantially from 2013. And that's not the only way to find a partner online: People are finding love in the DMs on Twitter, Instagram and more. 

All of these options makes the Internet a wonderful place to meet people from all different backgrounds and interest groups that you may not normally have access to. But it begs the question: Once we find someone we like online, does all of that choice sabotage what we already have and present temptations to stray? 

At first, having tons of options while dating online seems like an amazing thing. If someone breaks your heart or moves away or happens to live too far from you, you can simply open your dating app of choice and move on to someone better suited to you. 

But some experts warn this temptation to see what else is out there is also present even when you're in a committed relationship.

"Social media and dating apps increases the likelihood to maybe not physically stray but mentally stray," advice columnist and breakup coach Chelsea Leigh Trescott told INSIDER. "It feeds this impulsive, panicked nature within us, especially when we are feeling rejected or letdown by our relationships. What happens is social media and dating apps enable us to 'just see' if we would still be desirable were we to be single again. This is an example of looking for validation in all the wrong places. The jolt of validation is never sustainable." 

Having all those options has actually proven to make us more miserable, according to several studies. These options can actually lead us to what is known as a "paradox of choice," and make us not able to make a decision at all or have one foot out the door in relationships.

"Once someone connects with another person who fulfills their fantasy or emotional need in some way, more often than not, they become attached to this person and the temptation to stray becomes a reality," said relationship expert and psychologist Vijayeta Sinh. "The ease of hooking up through dating apps and social media makes it very hard for someone to trust their partner." 

Researchers have found that millennials are getting married at a later age and are sometimes choosing not to get married at all, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But studies have also found that younger people are craving intimacy and don't feel like they've been taught well enough about how to have healthy relationships.

"We have too many options presented at us and when the going gets tough in a relationship, instead of trying to rebuild it, we decide to check out what else is out there," said Liz Guidone, a single millennial, told me. "Add that to the millennial mindset that we're searching for true, soulmate-level love and believe there is a perfect person out there. Ugh."

So how do we overcome this "paradox of choice," find what we truly want, and stick with that choice?

It's important to keep things in perspective and not compare real people to online profiles.

While no one is encouraging you to "settle" for someone, it's crucial to lose the mindset that there is always someone better out there. Focus on the real person you have in front of you and see if they're right for you first before DMing a cute person you found on Instagram Discover.

"It's important to resist this 'grass is greener' thinking," Jonathan Bennett, a counselor and author of the site The Popular Man, told INSIDER. "Everyone has flaws and imperfections. If you share core values with another person, have fun together, and are compatible, then you should keep an open mind about making the relationship more committed."

After all, online dating profiles are gussied up and unrealistic versions of the real people behind them. You can't compare someone's Instagram persona to a real-life person with flaws, bumps, and baggage. 

"If you're constantly comparing someone you're dating in real life with your other possible 'options' on social media or dating apps, it's not really an 'apples to apples' comparison,"Bennett told me. "Social media and dating profiles show a highly selective and idealized version of another person's life. So remind yourself that while those other options could be better, they also could be worse."

Scrolling Instagram and dating apps for beautiful people is fun and exciting, but don't forget to remind yourself it's just a fantasy and that real love is better than any filtered photo you give a double tap to. 

SEE ALSO: I asked dating and relationship experts how to handle rejection, and most of them told me the same thing

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When it comes to the best ways to forge a successful, lasting relationship, it seems everyone has a secret to success to share — and while we certainly want all the help we can get in order to avoid being one of the many adults who divorce, the seemingly endless stream of tips and tricks can often feel overwhelming.

Plus, as amazing as your friends and family are (and we’re sure they are), they aren’t professionals! To help you keep your eye on that wedded-bliss prize, we’ve sought out expert advice on how to keep your marriage happy and healthy. Keep reading to learn the details behind these seven proven suggestions.

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1. Keep dating

Just because you’ve put a ring on it doesn’t mean that you should give up dating forever… as long as it happens with your spouse! David Ezell, CEO and Clinical Director of counseling and mental wellness group Darien Wellness, urges marrieds to keep that spark alive with regular, intentional quality time.

“When couples come to my clinic for help, I always ask when is the last time they had a date,” Ezell reveals. “Dates aren’t with other couples and dates are never with kids in tow.” Research shows that making a routine of focused, one-on-one time is the best way to sustain the kind of connection that is bound to keep a marriage going strong.

2. Set shared goals

Signing up to run a race together or committing to a collective monthly saving plan that will allow you to take the vacation you’ve been dreaming of is a great way to strengthen your relationship with your partner.

In particular, certified counselor Jonathan Bennett cites an academic study that demonstrates the romantic benefits of training for endurance events (e.g., a marathon, triathlon, or bike race) with a loved one. “Shared goals that a couple can work toward help give a relationship greater purpose,” Bennett notes. “Also, the time spent achieving those goals helps the couple strengthen their bond.”

3. Practice daily acts of kindness

“Past studies have shown that people who take the time to consistently give and support someone actually care for this person more,” shares Steve McGough, director of research and development at Women & Couples Wellness.

Make it your personal mission to do something special or unexpected for your spouse every day (or at least almost every day). Establishing a kindness habit will make you fall in love with your S.O. even more — and we bet you didn’t even think that was possible, right?

The INSIDER Summary:

• When you cheat on someone, the first step is to come clean, regardless of what you want the outcome to be.
• If you've been cheated on, protect yourself and honor your feelings. Take it one day at a time.
• It's up to both of you where the relationship goes from here.
• Good communication is key. 

Being cheated on is one of the worst experiences you can go through in love. It has lasting effects on your confidence and psyche, which is probably why even thinking about the times I've been cheated on makes me want to throw up.

It's a fairly common experience to go through, even though it's hard to get reliable numbers on the subject. Obviously no one wants to own up to cheating, but it's estimated that 30 to 60% of married people cheat or have cheated, and one survey found that 21% of men and 19% of women admitted to cheating. 

It's a taboo subject, which is why we hear about it a lot as a bad and horrible monster, but not a lot about why or how it happens — or what to do after. Unlike cliché movie montages, it's not always easy in real life to move on from your partner.

If you are the one that cheated, step one is coming clean.

This is important because it shows that you take ownership of your actions and that you are willing to do the work to make things right — even if you don't plan on trying to stay together — according to relationship expert and psychologist Vijayeta Sinh.

"Ownup to what you did and take responsibility for your actions," she told INSIDER. "You may or may not have thought about the repercussions of having an affair but being an adult means fessing up when we know we are in the wrong about things. This allows you to give the other person the dignity and respect they deserve."

Unfortunately, this step may have been done for you if your partner found out about your infidelity on their own. But coming clean about the details of the affair is just as important, even if you're not breaking the news to them first. 

If you were cheated on, you need time to process what you want to do next.

Processing a betrayal this large is extremely difficult for both parties, but the victim here is the person who has been cheated on. It's a tough situation to be in whether you want to stay in the relationship or not because someone that you've loved and trusted has broken that trust.

"If this is is new or surprising information — someone we've known or trusted for years is cheating on us — then we must be willing to face the reality that somehow and somewhere we were not on the same page as our partner in terms of friendship, romance, support or communication," Sinh said. "And if so, is that something we are willing to work on or does the betrayal feel so out of left field and try as we may, we cannot see our role in things that we want to let things be and walk away."

As you're processing the betrayal, be kind to yourself. Only ask for details that you think will help you move on and honor your own feelings. Take breaks and surround yourself with people that love you. You are not obligated to do anything besides respect yourself. 

Once you've gotten everything out into the open, it's up to both of you to decide if the relationship is something worth pursing any more. At first, you might feel like the obstacles are too large and then come around to realizing you want to work on your relationship. Or, on the contrary, you could begin this journey never picturing yourself without the other person and then realize that it's just not worth saving.

No one's journey looks the same. 

It's estimated that about 35% of couples stay together after an infidelity. If you're one of those couples that decide to stay together, chances are you'll both wonder: Will the person who cheated always be a cheater?

Experts seem to be torn on this, but most agreed that, with some hard work, people can fight their tendency to cheat.

"I don't believe 'once a cheater, always a cheater' as a hard and fast rule," clinical psychologist Lynn Saladino told me. "While patterns of behavior often predict future behavior, I have seen several cases of cheating being a one-time occurrence. Each circumstance is different and there are a lot of factors that go into whether someone becomes a serial cheater. These include family history, value system, and reasons the person cheated in the first place."

But most experts INSIDER spoke to agreed that if a couple wants to stay together, it's up to both partners to work together and want to fix the relationship.  

"If admission brings about the destruction of the relationship, that is the price you pay for cheating,"  speaker and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport told INSIDER. "However, some partners can discuss this intelligently rather than emotionally and may come to some agreement as to what they will do going forward.  Sometimes they can be forgiven and both partners will need to work toward mending the relationship and regaining trust." 

No one can know for sure if your relationship will last. It can end because of the betrayal, it can end for a completely different reason, years down the line, or it can grow into a healthy partnership that can last forever. But no matter what happens, this painful time is a lesson.

"Mourning the death of the relationship you had or thought you had can sometimes lead you to understand each other and the relationship better, but it's hard, painful and takes courage," Sinh said. "It can, however, help you from repeating similar mistakes in other future relationships."

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People in healthy relationships know they'll always be learning about their partner — and their partner will always be surprising them.

But there are certain things about your partner and the relationship in general that you should know pretty early on. We asked a bunch of experts — including a dating coach and a marriage therapist — to tell us the key questions that couples in successful partnerships can answer readily.

Note: If you can't answer most of these (admittedly tough) questions, that doesn't necessarily mean you're headed for a breakup. But it might mean you and your partner need to have some real talk, so that you both understand what you want and expect from the relationship.

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What are your partner's biggest emotional triggers?

"Knowing the answer to this question is important because it can defuse conflict and increase empathy within the relationship.

"Often in life we are triggered by external events that remind us of negative feelings from previous trauma. When this happens we tend to lash out at those closest to us.

"If your partner knows what triggers you to behave badly — and understands the pain that's motivating that behavior, then they can take a step back and acknowledge that the tension has nothing to do with them."

— Emyli Lovz, dating coach

Does your partner have debt?

"How are they currently managing it and how do they plan to pay it off?

"We know that money issues are a big cause of relationships breaking up; so it's essential for both parties to communicate their status and plans so resentments or secrecy doesn't build up."

— Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and founder of pregnantish

What are your partner's deal-breakers? What are yours?

"Successful partners know who they are, who they aren't, what their struggles and blind spots are, and perhaps most importantly — they know their absolute bottom line deal-breakers.

"My wife, for instance, would never tolerate me even looking like I'm even approaching getting violent with her. I make a fist during an argument, and she'll be gone. Now, I've never been in a fight in my life, but this is not about me — this is about what she knows she cannot tolerate.

"And that's the point — great partners are actively working on self-awareness, and they actually use their partner's feedback to help them grow."

— Hal Runkel, marriage and family therapist and author of "Choose Your Own Adulthood"

The INSIDER Summary: 

• A study published in the SAGE Journals found that couples in non-monogamous relationships tend to experience less jealously than monogamous couples.
• People in open relationships also have fewer trust issues.
• Open relationships still come with their own challenges, such as juggling the amount of attention paid to each partner.  

For a majority of couples, committing to a long-term relationship or a marriage means a monogamous arrangement: just the two of them forever and ever. Other couples, however, take the approach of an open relationship, which can range from occasional permission to be intimate with someone else to having additional significant others in the picture. Among those who prefer monogamy, the idea of an open relationship might seem scandalous or even unhealthy, but there’s science to back up some surprising benefits of this type of arrangement.

A study published in March in the SAGE Journals found that because monogamy is considered the default type of romantic relationship, other studies on marriage have been biased against open relationships. Seeking to find the truth about how open relationships work and the impact this arrangement has on the people in them, the researchers found that, overall, some things work better in open relationships compared to monogamous relationships.

One major finding was that people in non-monogamous relationships tended to experience less jealousy than those who just have one partner. This might seem counter-intuitive at first: How could someone possibly feel less jealous knowing their spouse is dating someone else?

The study found a couple of reasons why jealousy isn’t as big of a factor for open couples. One is that they have permission to see other people, and that this mutual agreement mostly negates the motivation to feel jealous. And because of that mutual arrangement and understanding, open couples don’t feel the need to rifle through their partner’s text messages and email, looking for evidence of secrets and cheating.

This goes hand-in-hand with another significant difference between open and monogamous couples: trust. According to the new study, people in open relationships have far fewer trust issues with their partners than monogamous couples. This is largely due to the fact that there’s no expectation or demand for sexual or even emotional fidelity. Because it’s understood within non-monogamous relationships that a partner does and will be involved with other people in some way, open relationship partners don’t have to worry that their partner is “cheating;” they know their partner is seeing other people and are okay with it.

Elizabeth, who is 35 and has been in an open relationship with her partner for around four years, tells us that the independence an open arrangement affords her has been a huge benefit. Being open “has given me the chance to develop within the relationship, make my own choices, and really reflect on what I want,” she tells us. She also says that she enjoys being able to use dating apps like Tinder freely, which makes her feel more connected to the outside culture.

But this isn’t to say that being in an open arrangement doesn’t come with some challenges. Elizabeth tells us that when her partner struggles with dating or she thinks he’s with the wrong person, it can be hard to be supportive and helpful.

And of course, all romantic and sexual relationships take work, so juggling multiple relationships at once can be extra hard — a difficulty unique to open arrangements. Elizabeth says that she and her partner have struggled in the past to make sure they’re paying the appropriate amount of attention and being empathetic to the needs of people they date outside of their relationship with one another.

This brings up a point that is lacking from the new study on open relationships: Things seem to work great for the core couple, but what about the “extra” folks that get brought onboard? Because more than just the primary couple is involved, it’s also important to take a look at how other people in the relationship are impacted, and if they are enjoying the same benefits.

What the study reveals about open marriages doesn’t mean that there’s anything necessarily right or wrong with different relationship arrangements, but it does emphasize the validity of open relationships. Monogamy will work for some couples, while open relationships will be better for others, and it’s important to remember that while the latter isn’t as widely accepted, it can still be a good thing for the people who make it work.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Katy Perry revealed that her song "The One That Got Away" was written about fellow singer Josh Groban.
• She told this bombshell to host James Corden during a weekend-long live stream to promote her new album. 
• Groban and Perry were rumored to be dating in 2009 and she even got a fake tattoo of his name — although it was misspelled. 

Katy Perry has been romantically linked to many a famous face — John Mayer, Orlando Bloom, Russel Brand, to name a few — and people love to speculate about which of these dark-haired, attractive dudes her songs could be written about. 

But when revealing who the subject of her song "The One That Got Away" was, Perry name-dropped another famous, attractive, dark-haired man — and it was not who anyone was expecting.

She told host James Corden that the song is actually about singer and Broadway star Josh Groban.

It all went down during Perry's weekend-long livestream to promote her album called "Witness World Wide," in which she secluded herself in a house and filmed her for a whole weekend. Corden stopped by on Sunday to play a game of "Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts," where Perry would have to answer a personal question or eat something horrid. 

Corden asked her to rank her exes — Orlando Bloom, John Mayer, and Diplo — on how good they were in bed. Perry surprised everyone — well, me at least — when she suggested that Groban be thrown into the mix.

"Josh Groban is in there," she said, before adding, "I'm just kidding. He's amazing."

She then clarified that he should not be thrown in to be ranked, but revealed that she wrote the famous song about him.

"No, he's not in there. But I do want to say, people are like, who is 'The One That Got Away' about? That's Groban," she said, making a head-exploding motion, which, yes, describes how I felt about it. "He's one of my good friends."

In dissecting the lyrics, it does make some sense. They are both from in and around Los Angeles, so they could have met "summer after high school." Jury is still out if they had — or have — matching tattoos, but Perry did rock a fake and misspelled "Josh Grobin"tattoo in 2009.

They were rumored to have dated in the past but Groban denied it, saying they are "good friends" who "skated the line" on dating. 

Groban has yet to respond to this latest revelation as he was busy having his own big night at the TONY Awards Sunday evening, but as someone who listened to "You Raise Me Up" about a million times in high school, I have to say, I feel you on the crush, Katy. 

Watch the video below:

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The INSIDER Summary:

• A new study found that women take on more "mental housework" than men.
• When men offer reminders, it's usually for a task that benefits them, unlike women whose reminders benefit their partners.
• Being overburdened this way can cause problems in one's relationships.

Studies have shown that women do more housework than men, even when they're making more money than their partners. Now, a new study from Columbia Business School and William Patterson University has found that women disproportionately take on another form of labor categorized as "mental housework."

Mental housework involves keeping track of tasks that need completing and reminding others to do them.

It's less about the acts of doing laundry or grocery shopping themselves and more about remembering to wash that shirt your partner wants to wear tomorrow and knowing that the milk and eggs are running low in the first place.

Researchers found that men are less likely to offer reminders to their partners, and when they do, it's usually for a task that benefits them. 

For example, "You said that you would buy me a new suit jacket." 

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to offer reminders that benefit their partners.

They would say things like, "Remember that work deadline that's coming up soon."

It's not just in romantic relationships that women take on these extra responsibilities.

Researchers suggest that this dynamic also exists in the workplace and within relationships with friends and family, as well as same-sex couples to some degree. One person tends to do most of the planning and organizing that goes into running a household or planning an office happy hour, and concerns themselves with keeping everyone on task. Usually, it's a woman. Researchers tie this to the stereotype of women as more selfless and nurturing by nature, a common perception that becomes an assumption.

In any of these contexts, the imbalance can have subtle but damaging consequences.

The study cites that increased "distractedness and anxiousness" can result from being overburdened with too many to-do lists. Women have less time for meaningful work when they're busy managing mundane details, and can become resentful if they're always shouldering the mental housework.

The extra effort that goes into balancing out the division of labor is worth it. Couples that share housework equally live longer, are less depressed, report higher marital satisfaction, and have more sex.

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Researchers found that "phubbing"— the act of snubbing our partners for our phones — is on the rise.
• A study found that we check out phones roughly every 4 to 6 minutes and that 46%of people in relationships have been "phubbed." 
• Experts recommend a limit on phone time and making certain rooms a "phone-free" zone.

We've all been guilty of it: You're out to dinner with a friend or your partner and suddenly your phone buzzes in your pocket so you check it, even though your companion is right in the middle of a juicy story. It seems pretty harmless, but this behavior is becoming more common — and it could be ruining your love life as well.

Researchers from Baylor University in Texas found that this habit of snubbing your partner for your phone — dubbed "phubbing"— is on the rise, and that nearly 46% of people in romantic relationships have been "phubbed."

This behavior is happening more often, researchers say, because of how attached we are to our phones. In fact, they found that we check our phones 150 times a day on average — roughly every four to six minutes — so it's no wonder we reach for it without thinking even if someone else is talking.

But just because that behavior is second-nature doesn't mean that it's OK.  

"In everyday interactions with significant others, people often assume that momentary distractions by their cell phones are not a big deal," researcher Meredith David said in a release of the study. "However, our findings suggest that the more often a couple’s time spent together is interrupted by one individual attending to his/her cellphone, the less likely it is that the other individual is satisfied in the overall relationship."

Of the 46% of people who say they've been "phubbed," 22% say the behavior has cause strain in their relationship. The act of checking your phone shows your partner that you've checked out of the conversation and that you aren't fully invested in what they have to say, researchers say.

In order to stop this behavior, try to set aside quality, phone-free time with your partner and maybe even make your bedroom a phone-free zone. Get out of the habit of mindlessly scrolling social media while you're talking with them and try your best not to have the Pavlovian response to grab your phone when you see a notification. 

"Sit down together and set out some rules about phone-free time, where you basically put your phone away somewhere where you can't hear it, for a full hour every night while you and your partner spend some quality time together,” Julie Hart, a relationship expert from The Hart Centre in Australia, told Whimn.

If all else fails, your phone does have an off button. Who knew? 

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